But You're Lost On The Road To Misery
by Oosh04
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have to deal with the aftermath of TonDC along with the impending war against mount weather. Will it push them together or tear them apart? Clexa Also Octavia/Raven, Bellamy/Echo
1. I know you baby

**Heeeeeeeyyyyy so Clexa huh?**

**I was reading some great Clexa FanFiction and I just thought yanno what? There isn't enough love for these two... Nope not at all enough.**

**Also (for a moment of madness) I was listening to the 50 Shades soundtrack and the songs are so so so so good! so each chapter is going to be a lyric from one of the songs because I am inspired and I just don't care!**

**I'm going to ignore the pain in my chest from last weeks episode and carry on pretending like my babies are fine... THEY'RE FINE PEOPLE JUST CARRY ON**

**Anyone the name of this fic is borrowed from Skyler Grey - I know you... which is an A-MAAAAAAZZZZ-ING song guys... listen to it please?**

**Also I got inspired for the ending of this fic by Sia - One last night (again give it a listen) I just think that every piece of reading goes better with music. **

**Last but not least I would like to point out that though I love writing I am an A levels student and, if you've ever been there done that, then you'll understand my current agony. So if I don't post for a while then that's why :) but please - any questions or suggestions then please review... now ON WITH THE FIC!**

**Disclaimer: Shockingly I own nothing but if I did then everyone would be in a safe bubble where nobody dies**

The city lay quietly in the ash and dust, ready and waiting for the people to wake to the new horrors the day would bring to them. Bodies littered the ground grey as the sky from the flurry of ashen snow that had come so silently the night before with, just like their deaths, no warning. Abandoned rubble littered the ground between what was left of the silent buildings that reached up away from the massacre towards the greying clouds as a new fall of snow threatened the day.

A single man could be seen stumbling through the wreckage, his grey coat whipping around his figure as he broke through the morning mist that had long since settled upon the grieving city. He pulled himself along the building shells as his gaze met each and every motionless body on the ground. He seemed to be memorizing every face and emotionless feature, as if he himself was somehow to blame for their deaths. The mask that balanced on his face fell to the ground as he stumbled over another stretched out arm across his path.

Dried blood and dirt marred his features but not enough to cover the fear that shone through the mask. Finally he spotted a small child. She lay top above a large pile of bodies on the boot of a car and, unlike the others, her eyes were gazing out unblinking. They watched him move closer, blaming him, blaming him for her people's death. For her death.

It was only when he was just a step away that the single shot could be heard echoing through the air. He faltered. His gaze still on the child as a smile etched its way across his face before crumpling to the ground and welcoming the death he prayed for.

No sound could be heard after that. Neither stumbling feet nor mournful bird in the early morning mist sounded. Just an empty bleakness that was left for a new day and the city became a graveyard for victims and guilty alike. Fires etched into the ground and waited to finally burn out in the new day…

"Clarke?"

The blonde didn't look up from where she was hidden. After the missile hit TonDC there was uproar. Lexa promised revenge, Octavia shouted with them, eager for the blood of Lincoln to be answered for… and then there was her mother.

The one person who, besides Lincoln, knew the horrible truth.

Lexa was wrong… Finn's death didn't haunt her until the end of her days.

She could convince herself that his death was worth it, but not theirs, his death had meant the creation of an Alliance that would save people… TonDC, despite what Lexa might argue otherwise, has done nothing but kill innocent people.

She didn't doubt the looks she would soon be getting from her mother. She couldn't face Octavia, not after shooting Lincoln, and she still couldn't bring herself to face Raven after Finn. Everyone was dying. Even Murphy was no longer with them. Jasper and Monty who she left for dead. Bellamy who she surely sent to his death. Wells… Finn… Lincoln… All their blood was on her hands and those 250 innocents that knew nothing about the horror that would soon befall them.

They all came back to the Ark. Lexa and the grounders stayed just outside to keep an eye on the wounded and to plan for the final assault on mount weather. This was the moment Clarke had feared most of all. Whilst the marrow treatment wasn't being used somewhere inside herself Clarke could believe that it wasn't really happening. Now though she had no choice but to accept it and those around her looked to her for a leadership that she never truly wanted anyway.

Sometime in the morning she had pulled herself into the vents of the Ark and hidden deep away from everything outside. Claustrophobia had yet to settle in but, whilst it wasn't there, Clarke would enjoy the freedom this enclosed space gave her. That was until the crashing sound reverberated around her and light spilled in from the hole in the wall. For one mad moment Clarke thought they were pulling apart the Ark… before a head poked through.

Clarke growled and threw her head back, "Go away Raven"

"I don't think so Princess" She hauled herself through, grunting as her limp leg fell beneath her, "They're all looking for you out there"

"I know"

"Do you?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… what's your point Reyes? Just tell my mother where I am and she can drag me out kicking and screaming"

She closed her eyes and almost smiled at the idea. Imagine that display.

"Yeah well I don't fancy Abbey biting my head off because her daughters decided to hibernate. So if you could come out willingly that would make this a whole lot easier"

Raven kicked her foot with her good leg and sent her a knowing glance. When she first arrived down here Clarke didn't doubt that Raven would have been the one to drag her out… now though… She seemed so different after Finn's death that it scared her. He was her only family and she had taken that away as well.

"How did you find me?"

The mechanic raised an eyebrow, "I was a disgruntled child with a thieving mother… I learnt how to manoeuvre through these vents before you were crawling Griffin"

"I don't doubt that" she muttered grimly.

"Seriously though Clarke, Lexa is looking for you. She started a war meeting over an hour ago so you might want to get over there. Mourn later, war now"

Without waiting for a response she pulled herself out of the vent. Clarke waited until her hobbled footsteps faded out before following. Raven was right. Feelings were making her weak.

Turns out Lexa postponed the meeting until Clarke turned up. She told her generals that Clarke was injured in the blast and needed to recover fully first. Clarke was grateful but she knew that she had a lot to answer for, even if Lexa did cover for her.

She had only stepped into the tent when Lexa was on her.

"Never make me do that again"

The commander was looking down at the map and didn't look up when Clarke entered. She was however spinning her knife on the table. If she was angry then she covered it well.

"I'm sorry, I just needed a moment"

Still she didn't move "We all need a moment Clarke but whilst we have that moment then the enemy can get the upper hand. We need to strike on Mount weather now. It can't wait any longer"

Clarke nodded and stepped forward against the table looking down at the maps as well, "I agree but we still have to wait for Bellamy to shut down the acid fog. Raven is keeping up with him and says it won't be long but until then we still can't do anything. Not to mention we need him to release your army"

Lexa turned to face her, her blank features not wavering in the dim glow of the tent, "I understand the risk here Clarke but your people are finally being used as treatment, which means we don't have a lot of time to wait for Bellamy anymore, and there are other parts to work out"

Clarke nodded and looked down to mount weather on the map, "The door"

"The door" Lexa confirmed and they both glanced down.

Clarke shook her head and mumbled, "Survived a nuclear war…" Glancing across the rest of the map her gaze landed upon the bridge by the dropship. It seemed a lifetime ago when she had met Anya there to discuss terms and Raven had…

Clarke looked up suddenly and whispered, "Raven"

Lexa met her gaze with a puzzled expression, "I'm sorry?"

"Raven can do it. Raven can get us in"

Lexa still seemed confused, "Raven is on the outside Clarke, I thought Bellamy…"

"Bellamy can get us to the door unharmed and can even help us take them out from the inside but what he can't do is get our army inside. Raven can"

"How?"

She looked up and was shocked to see determination across Lexa's face. She hadn't expected the commander to hold any hope for this at all but here she was proving her wrong.

"I need to speak to her. We'll hold a war meeting in the Ark as soon as I've done that. Bring your generals, this is going to work"

"I'm sorry. You want me to what?"

Clarke stood opposite Raven in the engineer's room with Wick, Abbey and Octavia at either side. Octavia stood next to Raven and watched her disbelief with amusement. When she had explained the plan to Octavia she had been just as convinced as Clarke that Raven could do this.

"You blew the bridge up"

"Yeah a bridge Clarke! You want me to target that Dam?" Raven spluttered back.

"Not the Dam. Just the generators inside"

Raven shook her head, "It won't work. They have back-up generators like we did on the Ark"

"Can't you target them?" Octavia piped up.

Raven shot her a disbelieving look, "How? They're on the inside. I could get to the Dam no problem, take out the generators maybe, but as soon as the back-up power is on then it would have been useless"

"How long?" Everyone jumped at the sound of another voice and looked to the door to see Lexa. She stood arms crossed and her face giving nothing away. Upon her discovered presence she walked to join Clarke at her right. Abbey seemed to back away almost fearful and Wick gulped, eyes wide, even Raven bit her lip. Only Clarke and Octavia act indifferent at the Commander's presence.

"How long what?"

Lexa coughed, "How long until the back-up generator came on?"

Clarke nodded and looked to Raven following Lexa's train of thought. Raven scrunched her face up in thought, "A minute probably. They would have a minute without power, they couldn't last without it"

Lexa nodded and looked to Clarke, "You see where I am going with this?"

Clarke nodded, "A minute to take out the door"

"No possible" Everyone looked to Abbey, "That door is huge, thick and locked. A minute isn't long enough to open it"

"You wouldn't have to open it" Raven seemed to be agreeing with Clarke and Lexa, "You would only have to break the lock. After that even if the power came back on you could still open it… opening it would take longer but the power being back on wouldn't hinder your chances"

Lexa and Clarke shared a look, "How would we break the lock?"

"Leave that to me" Wick grinned and indicated to the pile of machinery behind him, "I'll get that thing open"

"Then who will go to the Dam?" Abbey frowned, still having her doubts over the whole thing.

Lexa looked to Octavia and they shared a glance because Octavia spoke, "I can get Raven inside. Lincoln explained the reaper tunnels to me briefly and there's one that leads to the Dam"

Raven seemed relieved and she smiled at Octavia. Abbey spoke again, "That Dam has stood through a nuclear war. Those generators as well, they survived years or hardship and radiation"

Raven looked between Octavia and Clarke before meeting Abbey's gaze defiantly, "It won't survive me"

Clarke grinned and looked to Lexa who was watching Raven. For the first time she thought she saw the hint of a smile on Lexa's face.

**Honestly I will probably post again today but if I don't then it will hopefully be in the next few days. In the meantime please review oh and I apologise for Lincoln but I just have a plan that must come together... Don't get me wrong I love Linctavia I just want to write something a bit different here :)**

**Please Review **


	2. I had a dream a dream I was dying

**So yeah I'm back again for the second time today and the last time. Hopefully the third chapter won't take too long. **

**Lot's of tension and kick ass Bellamy so yeah enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Wait... wait... WAIT... nope still don't own it...**

After everyone else left Raven got to work. Whilst Wick went to show Abbey, Clarke and Lexa his theory for the door, Octavia insisted on staying and helping Raven out. So far though Octavia had just sat there silently looking out of the window. Raven looked up from her diagram and rolled her eyes.

"You know you offered to help right?"

Octavia looked up and grimaced, "Oh right. Yeah, sorry… What do you need done?"

Shaking her head, Raven lifted up the diagram for her to look at, "When we blew up the first bridge we used gun powder and rocket fuel but we had to set it off by shooting it…"

She trailed off to see if Octavia understood then continued, "Basically I want to avoid that this time because once those things go off you really don't want to be in shooting range"

Octavia nodded and walked over to the first half-made explosive, "And you have more parts right?"

"Yeah that too and we'll need more explosives because those generators will be bigger and harder to handle"

Octavia didn't reply but she glanced towards the radio briefly before looking back at Raven. Now she knew why she offered to help.

"He hasn't radioed in yet but that doesn't mean he won't"

The Blake sibling nodded before indicating to the explosives, "Can he help from the inside?"

Raven thought for a moment before nodding, "If he could find out how many generators there are then yes he could"

Wick came back a few moments later and pointed to the back table where they had previously been working on the acid fog, "Explosives later Reyes. Melting skin fog now"

Raven gave Octavia a look before writing down a list on a separate piece of paper, "If you could find these then it would be a massive help"

She nodded and turned to leave before Raven's voice pulled her back, "I'm sorry" at her questioning gaze she added, "Lincoln"

Octavia smiled weakly and cocked her head, "Finn"

With that she left.

Lexa and Clarke had been going over the maps for hours. Lexa herself had retired to her bed having grown bored with the consistent repeating of questions. Clarke remained standing but she had lost focus on the plan a long time ago.

Her foot was tapping the floor insistently with nervous energy and it was starting to annoy her. She turned to the bed behind her to find that Lexa had fallen asleep. Rolling her eyes she turned back to the map. She unconsciously found TonDC and the guilt that had been almost dormant came roaring back. Her heartrate sped up as the guilt threatened to overtake her emotions completely and the overwhelming flood became too much. Suddenly she felt as though she was drowning in it. Drowning in the guilt, the bodies, the blood…

"Calm your mind Clarke"

Under the impression that the Commander was asleep, Clarke couldn't help but jump as a hand touched her shoulder. She turned her head to meet the other girl's gaze. Without her war paint Lexa looked so much younger than she ever did outside of this tent; it sent a shudder down her spine.

Their eyes watched each other for a few moments and Lexa never removed her hand from Clarke's shoulder. Seemingly realising their proximity Lexa removed her hand with a cough and took a step back. Her gaze lingering only a moment longer and this wasn't lost on Clarke.

"You need to keep your mind here and in the present for this to work"

Clarke swallowed and closed her eyes attempting to concentrate on anything other than Lexa's scent, "Do me a favour Lexa. No more lessons"

She kept her face blank, "I'm right Clarke and you know that"

"Just because you're right doesn't mean I want to hear it"

Lexa moved away to pour herself a drink and Clarke let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding, "Often what we want and what we need are completely different things"

Now Clarke growled in response, "I said no more lessons. All it's done is get people I care about killed"

"This is war Clarke. People die"

She whipped round and glared at Lexa who was leaning on the table behind her taking a sip of her drink, "Well I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the death, I'm sick of the blood and I'm sick of worrying about who is going to be next"

Lexa pushed herself off the table, "That's what I've been telling you. Love is w-"

"Don't" She growled. Pushing forward so that they were almost touching, "I like having feelings. Love makes me human. I'm not weak for loving, I'm stronger for it, but what does that make you?"

"I care Clarke" She answered, unflinching, which just angered Clarke more.

"No you don't" She stepped forward forcing Lexa to take a step back, "You're a machine. You run through the motions but you don't think about the small parts of the war. TonDC meant nothing to you, all you could focus on was Mount Weather, If you really cared then you would have tried to save someone… Anyone!"

Lexa was up against the table now, her hands holding her up, leaning back away from Clarke as if she would burn her if they touched. For the first time Clarke watched an emotion spread across her face… only she couldn't place it.

Her eyes fluttered across Clarke's face before she whispered, "I did"

If it wasn't for their close proximity then Clarke was sure she wouldn't have heard her, "What?"

"You" It was breathless and it took another questioning glance from Clarke for her to speak louder, "You… I got you out Clarke"

The only thing Clarke could focus on in that moment was their close proximity not for the first time that day. She wanted to look anywhere but at Lexa however there weren't many places to look… Her gaze unknowingly travelled down to her lips before quickly moving back up to her eyes.

Lexa swallowed and watched her attentively and Clarke realised she hadn't replied but she wasn't completely sure her voice would allow her too.

"I-I-"

They both moved at the same time. Clarke closed her eyes briefly and felt a pair of soft, tentative lips graze hers. She pulled back and put her hands against Lexa's arms but didn't meet the other girl's eyes when she spoke again.

"I can't I'm sorry"

Lexa nodded and cleared her throat before sidling out from Clarke and moving around to the entrance of the tent.

"I am going to check on Indra" she mumbled incoherently before leaving.

Clarke wasn't really listening but she nodded anyway, anxious for her to get out of the tent so she could at least clear her head for a moment and work out what that was. The only thing making any sense was the voice at the back of her mind screaming, _she cares_, repeatedly.

Clarke was alone in Lexa's tent when her mother entered. Abbey stood there silently watching her for a while before speaking.

"Why does it have to be you?"

Clarke didn't reply or turn around and face her. There was still a lot of tension between the two of them. Her father, the 100, Finn, the missile… they were both in the wrong but neither quite knew what to say or do.

"Clarke please"

She couldn't take much more of her begging.

"Clarke-"

Spinning round she silenced her with a glare, "Because you sent me down here! Because those kids see me as their leader and I don't have a choice!"

Abbey stepped forward and gripped her arms, "You do have a choice Clarke! We all have a choice, I am the Chancellor Clarke"

Clarke shook her head, "You still don't get it do you Mum? The 100 aren't yours to lead… They haven't been since you sent them down here to die"

Abbey stepped back as if burnt and she looked over Clarke's face as if she was trying to find some trace of the daughter she sent down here. Down to the ground. Down to die.

"Clarke, you are my daughter and I love you so much, this burden shouldn't be on your shoulders alone. Please" She stepped forward again but didn't raise a hand to Clarke, "Please Clarke. Put some of this on me, please share this burden with me"

All it took was the emotion swelling behind her mother's eyes for Clarke to break down. It reminded her too much of the look she had seen flash across Lexa's face just a few moments before. She did care. Next thing she knew they were both crying and clinging to each other for dear life. Clarke hadn't cried like this since her father was dragged away and once she started the tears just kept falling and each one burned just as much as the pain behind them.

It wasn't until Clarke had stopped gasping for breath that Abbey spoke, "Come on Clarke, what's on your mind? Please just tell me something"

That's the thing… Clarke didn't know what was running through her mind. People, thoughts, feelings… it was all just too much for her. But she knew what bothered her right now…

"She cares mum… I don't know why she acts like she doesn't but she does. I can't have… Not after Finn… What if she dies too?"

The hand that had been gently stroking her back ceased for a moment as her mum tried to make sense of the jumble that fell from her mouth.

"Clarke are you- are you talking about Lexa?"

It was all she could do to stop herself from crying again at the sound of the commander's name.

"Mum I- I couldn't but I- I wanted to"

Abbey hummed softly as she stroked her back, "What's happening Clarke?"

"I don't know" That was the only thing Clarke knew… that she didn't actually know anything. She didn't know how she was going to get her people safely out of mount weather and she certainly didn't know what this thing between her and Lexa was.

"She cares about me mum" She repeated again.

Abbey sighed, maybe the commander was more trouble than she was worth, "Do you care about her?"

It took a while for Clarke to reply but after a long pause she whispered, "I do… I really do" It was a quiet confession. As though she was afraid of admitting it to anyone; even herself.

Abbey leaned back and looked into her daughter's bloodshot eyes, "I don't know much about the commander. I think she's way too young for her role but then I suppose you both are and maybe that's what works between you two… Nobody else can possibly understand how you feel, not like Lexa can anyway" she sighed before adding, "We don't know what's going to happen in this war Clarke but if something is going to happen then it will no matter what you do now. So you can regret not do anything or be happy because you did"

"I'm scared mum" Her voice croaked with unshed tears, "Finn's dead… I can't take losing someone else"

She felt her mother's head nodding above her, "But Lexa's not Finn"

Raven had her head in her hands when Octavia came back. Her and Wick were around the radio and her heart leapt as Bellamy's voice sounded through. Wick turned at the sound of her entrance and grimaced at the unspoken question.

"Fog still isn't down"

Raven looked up and waved her over, "Bellamy, Octavia is here"

"O!"

Just the sound of his voice filled her with hope and relief. She went over to the radio and sat down, "Bell!"

"I really would love for you two to have a long chat but Clarke needs the fog down now. They leave soon and the fog has to be gone by the time they do"

Wick gave her a knowing look before turning to his and Raven's notes. Raven sent her an apologetic look before talking her through the previous attempts they had made at taking down the fog. Octavia nodded and tried to understand but all she could register was the increasing danger this was putting Bellamy in.

"Why can't he just shoot it?"

"That's what I said!" Bellamy shot in.

Raven shook her head gravely, "I don't think that's the safest idea. He might not get out of there in time and they'll realise pretty quickly that the fog is down… what we really want is for them to be left completely unaware"

Octavia nodded, "Okay so what's the other plan?"

Wick turned around, "There is one thing we haven't tried" he leant over to the radio, "Bellamy is there a control panel near you?"

Silence and then, "Yeah I've got it"

Raven looked up at Wick, "What's the plan?"

"Not yours. Destroying the thing could cause more damage than necessary… My plan however is fool proof"

Octavia smiled slightly at Raven's eye roll. She stepped away next to Octavia to allow Wick full control.

"Thank you" She whispered.

Raven gave her a quizzical look, "For trying to keep Bell alive"

"We're in this together. All of us" They shared a smile before Wick brought them back.

"My plan is to neutralize the fog. Did you follow my instructions?"

Bellamy's voice crackled again, "Yeah but the pH is the same… Isn't it supposed to be going down?"

Raven stepped forward, "Yes but it might take a while give it a-"

"It's working!"

Wick jumped back and threw his arms up with a cry of relief. Octavia yelped and jumped on Raven hugging her from behind as Bellamy's laughter reached them through the radio.

But their moment was short lived as Bellamy suddenly cried out. Octavia snapped up the radio instantly, "Bell? What's happening? What's wrong?"

"It's going back up! Wick it didn't work. Raven what do I do?"

Wick's horrified look didn't fill Octavia with confidence and she turned to Raven hoping to see some reassurance but there was an equally horrific look waiting for her there. She turned back to the radio and realised that not one of them could help Bellamy. Octavia's heart began to ache at the thought of losing her brother and Raven seemed to realise this because she grabbed her hand and spoke through the radio.

"Bellamy leave it. Just get out of there while you still can"

He didn't reply straight away and she thought for one horrible moment that they had found him, "Wait I still have time. Raven, where do I shoot?"

"No!" All three of them cried at once and Raven pushed forward again, "Bellamy get out of there"

"No" He ignored the second round of cries, "I'll do this with or without your help Reyes. At least if I blow this up they can't restart it"

"Bell please…" her whimper would have made an impact once upon a time. A time when they weren't on the ground, when they hadn't watched their friends be killed, when they weren't trying to save the remaining few…

"I have to O… I love you"

"No! Bell!" she cried but it was too late because a second later the gunshot sounded.

Octavia had expected to hear nothing but the empty crackling of the radio was worse than the silence and emptiness that it suggested. She felt Raven hold her but her eyes never left the radio… she prayed and prayed that he would say something…

A laugh and then, "Good enough for you Reyes?"

He sounded pained and gasping for breath but alive. God he was alive. Now she allowed herself to cry with happiness and allowed the warm arms to envelop her fully as Wick and Raven's cheers finally registered. If she hadn't been so happy about her brother then she probably would have been more aware of the tension between her and Raven. If she had been looking then she would have seen the lingering gaze. If she had been fully aware of her surroundings then she would have noticed how the mechanic's arms tightened just a little bit. None of that registered though because Bellamy was alive. He was alive and the fog was down.

And they were going to war.

That's all it took to ground her.

**So yeah obviously I wasn't going to give you Clexa on the first day this fic has been up but I'll give you something to tie you over with...**

**I actually love Raven and Octavia... so we shall see but obviously their parts are key at the moment to where this is going...**

**Does anyone else love Echo? Because I think she's brilliant and I had a sudden brain wave to include her so stay tuned on that one...**

**Please let me know what you think - Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows already guys. Means a lot :)**


	3. Doesn't matter if we've gone too far

**Oh look its me... Still alive after last night? Nope me neither. **

**I wasn't originally going to update today but I was e up for college only to find my lessons cancelled so I thought "what a better way to spend my time than write FanFiction?" because that's what every sane person does at six in the morning.**

**So yeah, obviously Lexa is pissed and her and Clarke will need to hash it out before heading off to war. Octavia might need to wake up a bit before realising what's happening her end of things if you know what I mean ;)**

**Echo is on her way too, so get excited because she is going to kick some arse next to Bellamy. The remaining 100 will be united soon! Just not right now...**

**Anyway please enjoy and thanks for the reviews, keep em coming, I love reading them :D **

**Disclaimer: I bought copyright! Wait... No I didn't...**

XoXoXoX

Clarke was watching Lea intently. They stood together in the commander's tent talking the plan through to the generals. She allowed herself only a few moments of distraction by convincing herself that she knew the plan through and through. It had nothing to do with how close their bodies were to touching.

Octavia stood slightly to the left. In Indra's place. Earlier that day the general had taken a turn for the worse after the injuries she received from the attack on TonDC. Despite Abbey's best efforts however she hadn't pulled through. Though Lexa had surprised everyone when she proposed a new position to Octavia, her personal guard. Clarke believed it was a testimony to how far they had really come for the commander to trust someone that wasn't one of her own. She was running low on personal guards after recent events.

Octavia and Clarke left the tent together once the plan was confirmed. She wasn't trying to avoid Lexa but after their interaction the other day Clarke was struggling on knowing what to say... Lexa herself wasn't helping the matter. She was doing everything in her power to make sure she wasn't alone with the blonde. Clarke was finding this only slightly annoying as the impending battle came ever closer yet the war between her head and her heart was still raging furiously.

At least she wasn't the only one. Raven was sat alone outside one of the war tents looking into a burning pile of ash with intent. As if the remnants of last night's fire held the answer to all her problems. Clarke made her way over and threw herself next to the mechanic who made indication that she even knew she was there.

"What's on your mind?"

Noresponse caused Clarke to lightly push the other girl. Only then did she look up from the burning cinders, "I said, what are you thinking about Reyes?"

"I'm thinking 'what happens when this is over', 'what will happen to the alliance without a common goal' but most of all... How... How do we live with what we've done to survive?"

There was an innocent look that plagued across her features and Clarke could forget for a moment that she had endured the pain and suffering that she had. She could forget that they killed on an almost day to day basis in the name of survival.

"Finn saidsomething like that. I told him that the things we've done to survive don't define us"

Raven paused, listening, "what did he say?"

"Askedme what if I was wrong... What if this" she indicated to them and the camp around them, "is who we are now"

There was a long silence and Clarke didn't think Raven would say anything before, "what do you think?"

"I would have said that he was wrong, that this isn't who we are. Not really. But now... The truth is I've seen it... Seen that monster that's inside each of us. Lincoln was right when he said that we all have one and that we're all responsible for what it does when it's released. Finn wasn't any different... I'm not any different"

"TonDC?"

Clarke looked up perplexed and Raven gave her a half smile, "Octavia said you were there in plenty of time. Which means you had time to warn the commander, which means you had time to get everyone out... But you didn't"

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Clarke tried to gage Raven's emotions but she was just as stoic as the commander.

Raven answered the unasked question, "I don't blame you Clarke. This is war and the choices we make in war can't be allowed to define who we really are. Lincoln was right, there is a monster inside all of us and war brings it out, but he was also wrong. If you let war define who you are then you can't ever truly be free of it"

For the first time Clarke could feel how tired she was. Her muscles seemed to sag with Raven's words and she was shocked at how relieved she felt as well. She couldn't lose another friend.

"Octavia blames me"

"Octavia misses Lincoln. She's worried for her brother... Octavia blames everyone"

"Not you though" Clarke narrowed her eyes, she hadn't missed the increasing tension between the two over the last few days, "only you seemed to be exempt from that"

Raven shrugged, "We have a lot in common"

She scoffed in response, "and you? How do you feel about her?"

"I-" that seemed to surprise her, "I don't know... We're in the middle of a war. The only thing I can process is that we might be dead tomorrow... How I feel about Octavia just hasn't - I haven't considered"

"Maybe you should"

Raven stood up and glared down at her, "do me a favour Clarke?Don't lecture me on my feelings when you and Lexa can't even be in the same room as each other. At least me and Octavia are talking"

With the she wandered off back down to the Ark leaving Clarke feeling thoroughly perplexed. She didn't realise she had been that obvious.

XoXoXoX

Lexa growled slightly as her opponent moved steadily towards her. He was a good warrior but was too heavy on his feet to last against Lexa. She was faster and more agile than him.

Still they had been at this dance for a while and the mud, sweat and grime plastered itself across Lexa's skin. She was in minimal clothing, allowing for fluidity in her movements, but it meant that the scars littering her back and tattooso were on full display.

Lexa felt the piercing eyeswatching from behind and didn't need to turn around to know Clarke was watching her. Still she wouldn't allow herself to become distracted.

Diving from two more attacks she watched as his movements became sloppy and weak as his body tired beneath him.

After his third lunge caused him to stumble and remain facing away from her in the ring she finally moved. Raising her fists she moved forward in a quick motion and connected her right foot to his back. He fell beneath her but didn't stay down for long. Despite being tired and worn he was still a trained warrior and they were drilled to the belief of getting back up again.

She didn't allow him the respite time. He had turned to face her for a second when she jumped. Twisting her legs in mid air she coiled around his head and pulled him down. Slamming him head first to the ground rendering him unconscious. A move that would normally have snapped the neck in half had she been aiming to kill.

Lexa left the fallen warrior to be tended to by Nyko and moved to her tent. She ignored Clarke as she passed her and gave a quick nod to Octavia before entering.

She had only removed the dirt from her face when Clarke entered but she didn't turn. There was nothing the skygirl could say now that she hadn't already said. Unless she was here to fully confirm her lack of feelings towards the commander.

Clarke surprised them both however by silently moving forward, taking the rag from Lexa's hand and cleaning the parts on her back where she struggled to reach.

They stayed like that for a while. Lexa sitting quietly without complaint as Clarke silently cleaned her. Lexa felt the girl's fingers linger on the streaked scars that littered her back.

"Jus dren jus daun"

Clarke stopped her movements but her hand remained lightly over the scars, "who?"

"300 warriors died. I went to war to avenge Costia... I was young and foolish. I made the mistake of believing I could defeat her... I made the mistake but my warriors paid the price"

There were countless lashes across her back. She had suffered the rawness of flesh there for days to come but that was nothing compared to the gate she had doomed her warriors to.

"You wanted justice...What's wrong with that?"

Lexa turned to face Clarke with a blank expression, "I'm the commander, it's not my place to ask my men to give their lives for one life. It was mine to give but I have a duty to my people"

Clarke swallowed and her eyes flickered nervously, "what about me?"

Her eyes widened slightly and felt her heart betray her for a moment, "what about you?"

Another swallow, "you care about me... So am I your people or... Something else?"

They were nose to nose now and Lexa could hear the thoughts running through Clarke's mind. She understood now, the attraction between them ran so strong because they understood. Clarke understood the burden placed upon her and where Costia would try to distract her Clarke wanted to relieve her. Maybe she didn't need a distraction anymore. She was older now. A better leader. But she still had much to learn about being a better person. About being Lexa. Maybe here, here alone with Clarke, she didn't have to pretend here. Clarke understood the commander but she also understood Lexa.

"what do you want to be Clarke?" she barely dared whisper it.

Clarke didn't reply but instead closed the gap between them. It was soft, sensual and Lexa understood. Not the commander. Lexa. Not the leader of the sky people. Clarke. Clarke was everything and nothing all at once.

XoXoXoX

Abbey helped Kane walk a few steps before insistently pushing him down upon the nearest chair. He grimaced and clutched at his side.

"I told you not to exert yourself"

He shot her a grimaced smile before turning to the line of grounder tents and one in particular.

"They're preparing for war"

"We all are" Abbey replied grimly and leant forward to inspect his wound.

"Is Lexa ready?"

Abbey seemed to stiffen at the commander's name, "Clarke seems to think she is"

"you trust her"

"I trust Clarke" Abbey corrected, "she's changed so much"

"they all have" Kane observed just as Octavia stepped forward into the ring to begin training, "They're not kids anymore Abbey"

"They're the 100"

"And what's that?"

She looked out as Clarke and Lexa left the tent. They were talking rapidly and moving forward to where a group of Lexa's generals stood. She watched Octavia duck and slide the attacks of her opponent. Watched Raven move around with the explosives, her injured leg dragging behind her slightly. Monroe walking in time with the guard twice her size. Remembered the haunted look on Finn's face, the ghost of a smile that troubled Bellamy and the scars that littered Murphy. The scars that covered Clarke when she first saw her again, the cries of Raven as she endured the pain, Clarke's cries after she killed Finn and the distraught look of the Blake's as they were separated. Again.

If this was a few then what would they find in mount weather?

"What indeed"

**Okay so not particularly long but I wanted to create the build up for the final assault on mount weather which will span over a few chapters. This fic won't end after that though.**

**Oh no**

**You're not getting rid of me that easily guys ;)**

**Mount weather is just the beginning **

**Please keep the reviews rolling - :) **

**Oh and CLEXA KISSSSSSSS**


	4. It's enough to want to make you try pt 1

**Okay first owe. I finally sat down and watched the episode all the way through and when Clarke was walking through mount weather and trying not to cry, and her mum, and then the goodbye EEUUURRRRGGGHHH can't handle this… :'( I don't think I've cried like that in a long time…**

**This is kind of Part 1 and it's small but the next chapter will be up ASAP because I'm halfway through it!**

**MaskofGein: I feel ya, never enough femlash! Never never never. I hope I can fulfil :P**

**So as my chest hurts and I'm threatening to cry unbelievable amounts of tears, why not write another chapter ay?**

**I had a horrible idea this morning… A horrible, destructive thought that most of you will hate me for… so I'm going to go through with it (please don't hurt me) Just not yet. You'll have to wait and see now on with this!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the fandom then Clarke is currently on her way to Lexa and they're going to go live in Polis together… done.**

Everything was planned to the last second, Octavia and Raven had left together and were facing the Dam, Clarke was marching out with Lexa and her army at any moment and her mother way with Kane at the bottom of the chute where the plan was to help the injured escape.

It was all Clarke could do to stay focussed as they moved through the undergrowth. Lexa looked at her and sent her a reassuring smile every so often and she couldn't help the leap her heart did. Taking a deep breath she led the way with Monroe following her lead.

They were getting them out and Clarke would do whatever it took to ensure that.

The 100 were her family.

XoXoXoX

Lexa watched the determination make its way across Clarke's face. The commander had to stop herself from smiling, here and now her people needed her, here and now she had to be the commander. Not Lexa.

Clarke took charge and led the rest of the way followed closely by Monroe.

Lexa nodded to her guard and had them spread across the perimeter as planned.

Her people came first. Tonight was about getting them out… but Clarke made her question all of that…

Love is weakness.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy made his way through the rows of cages looking for one specific… found it. He nodded to the girl inside and helped her down. She shot him a questioning look and he looked over his shoulder to make sure the coast was clear.

"I need your help. There's an army outside these walls and there's one in here. Your commander is bringing hers now help me prepare your people in here. Can you do that?"

Echo's eyebrow shot up at the mention of the commander but she nodded slowly, "I can do that. They will be ready"

He smiled, the relief shining through, then handed her a key, "You'll need this to open the cages. Get them all out and I'll get my friends down here. Then we wait for the signal from the commander and Clarke"

She nodded again before moving to the next cage.

This was going to work. It had too.

XoXoXoX

Octavia held her hand out and Raven took it, lowering her down from the vent, she closed it behind them and followed Raven towards the generators. They were huge.

"I hope you have enough"

Raven flashed a smirk over her shoulder, "Don't worry Pocahontas, I have enough"

The mechanic moved forward to the first generator and handed Octavia one of the device. She took it and mumbled a quick, "Stop calling me that" Before moving to the next one.

Raven's voice sounded over, "You remember how to do that right?"

"Yes Raven. I've got it"

She just hoped Raven knew what she was doing.

XoXoXoX

Raven placed the explosive in the vat and set the detonator before looking over to Octavia who was doing the same. She sighed before standing up and moving over. Two down, four to go.

"Come on. Clarke wants this done quickly"

"Yeah I know Reyes"

Another smirk came over her and she watched Octavia move for a few moments. Maybe Clarke was right afterall, besides her and Lexa seemed to have worked everything out, maybe her and Octavia could work?

"Stop checking me out Reyes"

Octavia grinned as she stood up and moved to the next one, "You're the one that's itching for me to speed up"

Raven smiled softly and followed her.

God she hopes she's right about this.

XoXoXoX

Abbey looked up at the tunnel above her. The darkness seemed to never end and she couldn't imagine them getting the survivors out of here but she trusts Clarke.

She turned to Kane, "You shouldn't have come"

He raised his gun and smiled, "Where else would I be Abbey?"

She just smiled.

Please be right Clarke.

XoXoXoX

Echo moved between cage after cage. Dragging each warrior out – if you could call them that. They were shells of the people they used to be. A few cages held people she didn't even know were missing but this wasn't the time for a reunion. Lexa was counting on them to get this army ready and she would rather die than let down the commander. Judging by the reactions of everyone here then she needed to be the moral of them here.

After waking a few of the unconscious and pulling them out she allowed herself a moment to look up.

Lexa I hope you know what you're doing.

XoXoXoX

Jasper stilled his racing heart as he watched Maya pace nervously. Next to him Monty was tapping his leg in a repetitive motion. They were waiting for Bellamy to get back from speaking to the grounders.

"He's taking too long"

"He'll be fine"

God he hoped Bellamy was okay.

This was their last chance. The bone marrow worked…

XoXoXoX

Lexa watched her army file in behind her. She turned to Clarke who was watching the lights by the door intently. Taking a deep breath she allowed herself a moment to think of the future… A future that could include Clarke and peace…

There was no need for blood to be spilt again after tonight. That much she did believe.

This will work.

It has to.

XoXoXoX

Clarke turned to Lexa, "This will work"

Her gaze drew away to the light praying for it to flicker.

It has to.

**So it's just setting everyone up… Not sure how many parts this final one will have. Probably three, three is a good number, I like three. Yes we shall go with three.**

**So anyone guessed Echo yet? Ye? Ne?**

**Next chapter will be up soon.**

**Hope you're all still enjoying it!**

**Please review ****:)**


	5. It's enough to want to make you try pt 2

**Here we go :P Biggest chapter yet!**

**Part 2 just errr don't hate me too much though yeah?**

**Please review!**

**Disclaimer: Nope don't own nothing (poor English there)**

Clarke was pacing now. Her nerves settling in as the time increased, Octavia and Raven were taking too long. She must have voiced her fears because Lexa answered her.

"It takes as long as it takes"

She nodded grimly and moved to stand next to her, "Clarke… The alliance will hold after today, I promise you that"

"How can you promise that?"

She searched behind the black war paint, trying to find the girl she had kissed not a few hours ago, war seemed to create a split personality within Lexa.

"We want the same thing; peace. We only kill in war because we have to but the fall of the mountain means that we will be at peace. I can promise you that Clarke"

Clarke smiled weakly, "Thank you"

Lexa was about to say something else when shots sounded in the night air. Clarke went rigid and her head whipped around to find the source of the noise whilst Lexa's hand went instinctively to her sword. Monroe appeared at Clarke's shoulder.

"It's coming from the Dam" She spoke hurriedly, her eyes scanning the mountain for a threat.

Clarke sucked in a breath, "They know we're going for the power"

Lexa shook her head, "They know we're going for the door"

She turned to the men behind her and cried out to them, "Get ready!"

A cheer erupted from behind them.

XoXoXoX

"Are you done yet Reyes?"

Raven cracked her neck as she made the last few adjustments to the system, "Give me a few more moments okay Octavia?"

A loud bang sounded from behind them as the mountain men attempted to break through the door they had barricaded.

Octavia reached for her sword and moved to defend Raven from her position on the ground, "We don't have a few more minutes Raven"

"Okay I'm done" She turned and helped her to stand just as five men burst into the room and screamed, "Don't move"

Octavia pushed Raven behind the canister, "Get down!"

She dived down to the ground next to her just as a round of bullets ricocheted around them. Raven held her head until the rounds stopped and she looked round to find the men all just a few metres away next to the generators.

Octavia pulled out her sword and gave her a look, "You have to set them off"

Raven shook her head, "No, we're too close"

She nodded, "I'm going to circle round. Don't get shot Reyes, that's a habit you need to break" and with that she dove out from behind their cover to circle round where the mountain men couldn't see her.

Raven pulled her bag onto her back and lifted the switch in her hand. She could see the door straight ahead but if she made a run for it now five rounds of bullets would take her out. She would just have to trust Octavia.

The sound of the first man dying was silent apart from the crunch as her hit the ground. She turned the corner and watched as Octavia slid down and took down the second man out by the legs. The third attempted to shoot her but missed each time; she sliced him at the neck. The last three turned back to take her out but she ducked down just in time.

Now they were aimed at Octavia whilst Raven was left open. She could run for it but that meant leaving Octavia and Raven wasn't about to consider doing that. She raised her hand gun and aimed with two hands. She hit two of the men dead on but missed the third just as she diving back behind cover. The scream that ripped through the air a moment later sounded his death and Octavia helped her up, pointing to the door.

"We need to go"

Raven nodded and they were a few steps from the door when- "Don't move!"

Octavia screeched to a halt and pulled Raven with her. They turned slowly to find three guns pointing at her, "Don't move" he repeated.

Octavia leaned over slightly as they both raised their hands, "Are we far enough away now?"

Raven gulped and looked at Octavia's steady gaze, "Let's find out"

She pressed the button.

XoXoXoX

Clarke watched with relief as the lights flickered out. Her and Lexa shared a laugh as they stared at the door.

Monroe called them back to their senses, "One minute. Clarke press it now!"

Clarke turned to Lexa, "For those we have lost"

Lexa placed her hand on Clarke's, her hands were comfortably warm, "And those we shall soon find"

They pressed down together. But nothing happened. Clarke pushed it down several times again.

"It isn't working. Why isn't it working?" Lexa screeched.

Clarke's eyes scanned the perimeter and thought back to the Ark…, "They're jamming us"

She moved round from the rock, "I need to get closer"

Suddenly shots were fired from up ahead and Clarke Felt Lexa's arms surround her and tug her back. Her eyes were closed and she felt the heat from the commander's body above hers.

"Thirty seconds!" Monroe screeched in horror.

Lexa grunted and pulled an arrow from a nearby warrior. She leant out slightly from their cover and fired. It hit directly and the small explosions alerted them to the opening of the door.

"It worked!" Lexa grinned at her but another wave of bullets pushed them back again.

Monroe went to leave, "Someone has to take out the shooters"

Lexa pulled her back to Clarke, "No! Stay with Clarke and I'll go" She turned to Clarke and smiled reassuringly before taking off, dodging bullets, and followed by a select few.

Clarke sighed and threw her head back. They would have to wait again, "Everyone get down!" She cried out not wanting to lose another life if she could help it.

XoXoXoX

Octavia was brought to her senses by the coughing sounding to her right. At first she thought the explosion had caused her to go blind but then she realised the lights were completely out. Something heavy was holding her chest down and she didn't need to see to know how bad the damage was. The ceiling above them had caved in along with the support beams and walls. They were completely caved.

A light flickered to her left and she realised that some lights were still connected. If they were turning on now then the back-up power must be on. Octavia just hopes that Clarke got that door open.

It took some manoeuvring but she finally managed to pry herself from under the concrete slab that had landed above her. Pulling herself up she balanced on a pile of rubble looking around for any possible surviving mountain men.

She counted three dead from the limbs lying around before the coughing became more frantic. Fearful that it was Raven, Octavia pulled herself over the rubble and stopped as a man appeared. He wasn't wearing a suite. He had received the treatment.

His movements showed an injury but it didn't stop him from pulling the body along the ground. Raven. Octavia growled and reached for her sword only to find that it was gone. Leaning down she felt the knife that was still hidden in her boot.

She jumped down from the rubble and tackled the man away from the unconscious Raven. He was so dazed that he didn't have any time to react before the knife was at his throat.

"Please" He whimpered uselessly, "Please don't kill me"

Octavia hesitated and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. Through the dust and the blood trickling down from her head she must have looked demonic. He seemed to agree as a horrified expression crossed his features.

"You're crazy!" He cried, attempting to push her off but she didn't budge.

She pushed the knife down just enough to draw blood, "No. I'm not the one drilling into kids for the sake of going outside"

He opened his mouth to reply but she silenced his with another push, "How many kids do you think pleaded for their lives just so you could touch grass?"

He was crying now. The tears pouring down and Octavia couldn't help but spit at him. They had tortured her friends, killed them, turned grounders into reapers and used them as medicine for too long.

"You think somehow your life is worth more than theirs?" She grit her teeth in ager and his eyes grew as the knife pushed further down into his neck.

"Please..." He whimpered uselessly.

Anger flared through her but it evaporated as Raven's voice spoke softly from behind her, "Octavia"

She flicked the knife across his throat. A quick death. She moved next to Raven and tried to ignore the blood spilt across her body. His somehow stood out significantly to her against her own.

Octavia watched as Raven gripped her leg and she looked down to see the remnants of the brace still barely holding on, "Can you walk?"

Raven made a noise and kicked the ground angrily before shaking her head, "No"

XoXoXoX

Clarke watched as the guns stopped above the door and relief flooded through her as Monroe whispered, "She did it" Next to her.

Clarke nodded but she knew they weren't done yet and they had to get that door open whether Lexa joined them again or not. She nodded her head to the generals behind her and they shouted orders. A moment later six grounders came forward and attached the ropes to the door's weak points.

Clarke observed but they really didn't need her help at this point. The grounders were fuelled with anger as the prepared to pull. She gave the order and watched in anticipation.

At first nothing happened but then the door started to give and her and Monroe were running forward yelling at them to keep going. Clarke turned to the gunners behind her, "Keep your eyes trained on that door. I don't doubt they have an army waiting for us"

They nodded and raised their guns ready for the attack. Clarke turned back and felt elation run through her as the door began to open. This was actually working.

Turning to the hoard behind her she gave the final order, "Attack!" She cried, raising her gun.

The grounders roared in and were mid charge when a voice broke through.

The attack halted and a few cries of "Heda!" gave away the source of the voice. Lexa broke through the crowed a moment later accompanied by the grounders that had followed and two mountain men who were still armed. There was one either side of Lexa.

"What's going on?"

Clarke came face to face with her. Blood splattered her clothes and face. None of it seemed to be her own apart from a small gash under her left eye. Dirt and grime smeared away her war paint and Clarke wondered if she had been forced to the ground.

Lexa didn't reply but a moment later the door opened fully and people started to stumble out. A few were draped in orange blankets and in some cases it took two people to support them. They seemed tired and drained but otherwise unharmed. Clarke turned back to Lexa not sure what was happening.

"They're retreating?"

One of the men that Clarke recognised as Emerson smirked, "Not quite. Your commander's made a deal"

Neither was wearing suites and that didn't sit right with Clarke. Lexa wouldn't let them live.

The commander at least had the decency to look sombre and Clarke soon caught on as to why. Only Lexa's people were leaving the mountain.

"Where are my people?"

Lexa raised her head as she did every time she was trying to push back her emotions, "I'm sorry Clarke. They weren't part of the deal"

Monroe reached Clarke and looked between the leaders who were watching each other intently, "What's happening?"

"The commander's made a deal" Clarke repeated with an emotionless voice.

Monroe scrunched her nose, "What about our people?"

"They'll die" Clarke said simply and a flash crossed Lexa's face, "But you don't care about that do you"

"I do care Clarke" Her voice wavered ever so slightly, "But my people come first and I made this decision with my head and not my heart"

Nothing. It was all for nothing. Clarke was drowning in blood and Lexa had promised her retribution but here she was throwing it back in her face.

A tear ghost her face and she shook her face to stop the fall. She had put it off for so long and if she started now she didn't know if she would ever stop. Lexa wasn't bothering to hide it anymore and the guilt was there for all to see but that didn't matter because her choice had been made.

"Come then commander"

Clarke looked to Emerson and noticed for the first time why him and the other man weren't tied up. Lexa was.

Clarke's eyes widened and she looked to Lexa who shook her head, "This is the price I pay for my people Clarke"

"No!" She moved forward but the second guard raised his gun.

Emerson grinned again, "The deal's been made Clarke"

With that he turned to lead the commander inside just as the last of the grounders filed out. One girl looked up just in time to see Lexa.

They both halted and stared at each other eyes wide.

Lexa opened her mouth to say something but Emerson shoved her inside before she could do anything. The girl moved to chase after but the door was closed quickly and she ended up slamming against it. Her anger was apparent as she continued to thrash and kick the door but to no avail.

Clarke raced forward and pulled her away before she seriously injured herself. The girl still fought against her and Clarke had to grip her tight until she calmed down.

"Stop, you won't get through"

The girl spun round. Her mattered hair fell over her and suddenly Clarke became painfully aware of how little clothing she had on.

She looked Clarke up and down, "Who are you?"

"Clarke… of the sky people"

Recognition flashed across her face and Clarke was reminded of another grounder's approach to emotions, "You know Bellamy?"

Clarke nodded, "He got you out?"

"Yes but then the mountain men came and threatened to kill us unless we complied"

She smiled grimly, "Bellamy was not there to help us"

"What's your name?"

"Echo" the girl replied and she turned back to the door as if it might now open.

Clarke frowned, "How do you know the commander? Lexa?"

The girl scoffed and folded her arms in such a way that Clarke knew the answer before she spoke it, "She is my sister"

XoXoXoX

Octavia and Raven only made it a few steps before the sound of hurried footsteps and loaded guns could be heard. Raven dropped to the ground and seemed to whimper. She knelt down next to her and watched the tough exterior fall as she gave into her fear.

Their eyes met for a moment as Octavia gripped the knife tighter. The footsteps were fast and closing in around them. She could still leave.

Raven seemed to be thinking the same thing as she looked up at her, "Please don't leave me" She breathed out through sobs.

Octavia knew in that moment that she never would. So instead of making for the door she sat and pulled Raven into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head, "I will never leave you Reyes"

Raven held her tightly, "Thank you Pocahontas"

Octavia only had time to let one tear fall before the door opened to a hoard of guards storming in with guns raised and pointing at them. She just held Raven tighter.

XoXoXoX

Clarke stood alone looking up at the mountain.

_I believe, I believe there's love in you_  
_Grid locked on the dusty avenues_  
_Inside your heart, just afraid to go_  
_I am more, I am more than innocent_  
_But just take a chance and let me in_  
_And I'll show you ways that you don't know_

Echo walked slowly back with her people. She gave in and let the tears fall. She let them fall and soon the flood came. Clarke refused to leave, Bellamy was still there and Lexa… she didn't want to imagine what was happening to her.

_Don't complicate it,_  
_Don't let the past dictate_  
_Yeah,_  
_I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith_

Abbey was pacing. The door should have opened by now. There had been no word from anyone; not even Clarke had made to contact her.

She looked to Kane who was leaning against the tunnel wall for support. His wounds were becoming irritated.

_So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby_

Suddenly the door opened and in the expectation of seeing Bellamy not one of them raised their guns. Abbey was helpless against the hands that dragged her inside.

_I believe, I believe you could love me_  
_But you're lost on the road to misery_  
_And what I gave to you_  
_I could never get back!_  
_Don't complicate it,_  
_Don't drive yourself insane_  
_Yeah,_  
_Say what you will but I know that you want to stay_!

Lexa was dragged limp through the corridor before being thrown into the empty chair. Her head was knocked back by the blow that came from the nearest guard.

_So please, I know you baby_  
_I know you baby_  
_So please, I know you baby_  
_I know you baby_

Cage walked in slowly holding the needle with the red liquid inside. Lexa instinctively moved back as he knelt down in front her. He smiled at her before injecting her neck.

_Chemicals rushing in,_  
_I know it's you that I belong to_  
_I'm burning like a cannonball in the air_  
_Crashing into who I belong to_  
_Uh uh, uuuuh uuuuh uh_

Octavia held Raven tighter. Her tears falling thick and fast as her mouth opened in a silent scream. Her grip only tightened as the hands around them pulled and threatened to tear them apart.

_I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith_

_Please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby_

Clarke's body gave out as her knees collapsed against the ground. She looked up at the silent mountain that loomed over her. Suddenly everything seemed so much further away… Lexa seemed so much further away. She was tired…

Oh god was she tired…

_So please, I know you baby_  
_(The shadows of your heart are hanging in the sweet, sweet air)_  
_I know you baby_  
_(I know you baby)_  
_So please, I know you baby_  
_(The secrets that you hide, control us and it's just not fair)_  
_I know you baby_

Octavia was screaming. It took five of them to pull her away from Raven. Two guards were lifting her from the ground in her dazed state as she looked to Octavia. Her arms were reaching as she attempted to get away from the arms holding her. Just seeing Raven reaching out for her caused another anguished cry to escape her mouth as she finally collapsed against the men pulling her. Pulling her away. Seperating them...

The_ shadows of your heart are hanging in the sweet, sweet air_  
_I know you baby_  
_The secrets that you hide, control us and it's just not fair_  
_I know you baby_

Clarke looked up and closed her eyes as a single tear dripped down her face.

"It can't be over"

**I apologise for nothing… Just don't hit me yeah?**

**The lyrics are Skyler Grey – I know you**

**Incidentally the name of this fic ****:)**

**Please review and let me know what you think…**


	6. It's enough to want to make you try pt 3

**Looks like this will be a four part drama :)**

**So yeah enjoy!**

**Don't worry it'll be here soon haha**

**I'd just like to point out all the amazing reviews I've recieved within the first 24hrs of this story's life so thank you everyone!**

**Keep it up because I love hearing how you feel about all of this especially as I start to break away more from the Series :P**

**Don't hate me too much guys ;)**

**Disclaimer: No -_-**

Octavia burst into the medical bay. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes puffy from the many tears she had shed already that day. Clarke looked up from the grounder she tending too and made her way over.

Upon seeing Clarke she seemed to become more frantic and gripped the grieving girl roughly around the shoulders, "Where is she?"

Clarke's drooping eyes held the tears she had yet to spill and she was still recovering from the shock herself. She swallowed and opened her mouth but couldn't quite get the words out. The rough treatment from Octavia wasn't helping either.

The lack of response only seemed to enrage her, "Clarke I asked you a question god damn it!"

Abbey was watching them and decided to intervene. Walking over she pulled Clarke away from Octavia's grasp and into a gentle hug.

"Octavia-"

"Will someone just answer me already? Where is she Abbey? Where's Raven?"

The two Griffin's shared a look.

XoXoXoX

**_48 hours earlier…_**

_Tied to a shallow heart_

_Why does he want to bring me where he goes_

_Oh and to find out the reasons why_

_It's enough to make you wanna try_

_For one last night_

Clarke opened her eyes. The darkness had been bliss compared to this, compared to the reality she knew she had to face…

But she has to try. Even if she died, at least she would die with them. She had to try.

_Ghosts and silhouettes_

_They take a piece of me, they want it all_

_Oh but to wait in an empty room_

_With the feeling that is closing in_

Lexa groaned as her body reacted to the chemicals running through it. She wasn't chained to the chair she would be writhing on the floor. Any moment of respite from the pain was marred by Cage electrocuting her. Her screams reverberated around them but that only seemed to cause Cage's smile to grow.

_I had a dream I was dying_

_But I found nobody there_

_And if one last night is all that we've been given_

_Let's live it like we care_

When Octavia came to she was hung by her hands against the wall between two members of the 100. They were whimpering and watching the table where another had long since drifted away from the pain of the drill. Her head whipped around frantically before her eyes met the pair she had been desperate to find.

_For one last night_

_For one last night_

Raven watched as Octavia's eyes met hers and despite their current situation she found reassurance there. Raven wasn't one to back down and she raised her chin defiantly, causing pride to spread across Octavia's face as she nodded back.

_Broken upon the rocks_

_Let the beating waves_

_Come drag me down_

_Oh but to find out the reasons why_

_It's enough to make you wanna try_

_For one last night_

Abbey looked around at the kids. Their fear evident and she looked to Kane hoping to find some hope but he looked just as horrified as her. They were running low on Kids.

_I had a dream I was dying_

_But I found nobody there_

_And if one last night is all that we've been given_

_Let's live it like we care_

Cage entered and nobody could help their gasps at the sight of the commander being dragged in limp behind him. She was unconscious but strung up between Abbey and Raven.

_For one last night_

_For one last night_

_For one last night_

Raven frowned at the sight of the commander and looked to Octavia who nodded grimly. Abbey was examining Lexa for life threatening injuries whilst Kane seemed to have a new hope enter his eyes.

Bellamy entered the lock room where Jasper, Maya and Monty were hidden. They shared a look before Maya lead the way to where they hoped Abbey would be waiting. He handed Jasper a gun and together they aimed.

Clarke had pulled herself up and made her way towards her last hope.

They would fight.

XoXoXoX

Echo was wearing a similar outfit to Lexa when they faced Pauna and that fact alone would have been enough to set Clarke off if she hadn't already shoved her feelings away. She burst into the recovering warrior's tent when she came to the realisation that she was in fact her last hope.

Maybe that's what scared Clarke most of. That finally Cage had what he always wanted… He had them all and Clarke was left on the outside to suffer and wait for the massacre to end.

Echo looked up but shared the same blank expression that Lexa had so often graced her with. She didn't seem surprised to see her, "Clarke"

"You have to help me"

She half expected her to argue. Say Lexa was giving her life for her people and they should honour that but she didn't. Instead she strapped on her last piece of armour and sheathed her sword.

"What do you think this is all for?"

Clarke nodded as relief flowed through her and Echo stepped forward, her eyes were unnerving as they seemed to search Clarke. She was taller than her and Clarke imagined that she was even taller than Lexa, "What's the plan Skygirl?"

"Tunnels" was all she said before leading the way out of the tent.

XoXoXoX

Abbey watched them pull another body from the room. They weren't drilling right now and Cage was left alone with two guards.

Kane spoke up, "Where are you going?"

Cage stepped towards him, "I have a speech to make for my people. We'll be back soon don't worry"

They left the room and Harper burst into tears. Miller silenced her with a soothing voice as Octavia and Raven seemed to have a silent conversation across the room. Abbey turned to look at the commander.

Sweat was coating her skin and the dried blood was covering her face. Her armour at been removed and she was in leather pants and a thin black under shirt. Fresh blood could be seen from under her shit and Abbey could only imagine what was hidden under the shirt.

Raven caught her gaze, "Is she alright?"

"I don't know what he's done to her, I can't say"

"Clarke's going to go mental" Octavia said sombrely.

For the first time since coming to Raven took a look at who was in the room, "Where is Clarke?"

Abbey shook her head, "I don't know. God I hope they haven't done something too her"

"Outside"

Four heads turned to Lexa as her blood shot eyes opened. She blinked and squinted at the harsh light, her voice croaked out again, "She was outside the door"

"Was she okay?" Abbey watched Lexa scrunch her eyes and shake her head, moaning in pain, "Lexa please! Was Clarke okay?"

"Yes" She croaked out before it turned into a coughing fit.

Silence settled over the room. Kane leant back and tried to wrack his brain for an idea; any plan that could get them out of this. Octavia was twisting her wrists trying to find a give in the cuffs holding her. Any give that she could use to pull her hands free. Raven was watching her intently with a sombre expression. She was busy trying to balance out her leg, she knew that if she could feel something there it would be extremely painful… She half wished she could feel something. Even if it was pain.

Abbey was trying to focus her energies on the room. The silence was unbearable for her and she knew that if she didn't distract herself then her mind would wander to Clarke… Abbey sighed and tried to manoeuvre herself in the chains to face Lexa.

The commander's eyes gave away what they normally wouldn't and Abbey couldn't help but wonder what they had done to her in that short amount of time to make her break down in this way.

"Calm down, your injuries could be harsh and you might irritate them if you panic… what did he do to you Lexa?"

She almost didn't dare ask it but the medic inside her knew that it was essential for knowing the cause of her discomfort.

"Reaper" was the only hint she gave her.

But it was enough.

The reaper drug attacked the nerves and if Cage had used a big enough dose then it would still be running through her veins. She was herself but the pain was evident on her face and the sweat coating her body. Abbey looked closer and for the first time noticed the slight shake of her muscles and that wasn't from nerves.

"What's wrong with her?"

Kane had noticed the change in the commander as well it appeared. Abbey leant away from Lexa and towards Kane, "He's overdosed her. She could have a heart attack any minute… Something tells me Cage won't save her"

"I don't know about that. He has as much to gain from her alive than he does her death"

Before she could reply the door opened again and Cage entered. He looked around at them all as the guards and doctors entered behind him.

"Sorry for the delay… Carry on"

He moved into the shadows of the room with Emerson at his side and watched the proceedings as the doctors moved to pick the next patient. It took them only a moment.

The head doctor moved over to Raven and she glared back, "This one"

Octavia's cries were loudest of all as they moved to grab her.

XoXoXoX

Clarke and Echo stood on the opposite side of the door. She prayed to god that Bellamy was on his way.

"Is this the only way in?"

"No" Clarke admitted remembering the discussion with Lexa not too long ago, "But this way won't get us killed before we can take some mountain men with us"

Echo gave her an 'I approve' look just as the door opened. She raised her gun instinctively but there was no need because the stony face of Bellamy was what greeted her.

She gasped his name as she was pulled into a hug. She could have cried when Jasper and Monty pulled her into a hug a moment later.

She separated from the hug and sent Maya a thank you before turning around. She was shocked to find Echo and Bellamy embracing, they separated quickly, all eyes turned to Clarke and she knew what she had to do.

"What's the plan Princess?"

Bellamy smiled weakly at her and she realised now how truly tired they all were. They learnt too young that there are worse things in this world than death.

She looked between them all and fell into the role she was born to play, "The same as before. Lexa's army was only ever a distraction and now they're gone but if Cage is stupid enough to believe that we won't fight back then he's got another thing coming because that's exactly what we're going to do"

They were watching her with wrapped intention, even Echo, "We need to get to Dante Wallace. He's our key in this, our leverage; if we can get to him then we have something over Cage. After that we need to get to the control room that way we'll know where everyone is"

Bellamy nodded and looked to Maya who piped up, "I know where Dante is – he's in your cell if you remember where that is?"

Clarke nodded, "Monty knows where the control room is"

Monty confirmed this and Clarke felt a tiny part of the weight on her shoulders lift, "Alright, Bellamy, Echo, Monty, I want you with me to find Cage and the prisoners. We'll head to the control straight away – Maya and Jasper, can you find Dante and bring him to us?"

They nodded and set off instantly.

Bellamy pulled her back slightly, "I hope you know what you're doing Princess"

Clarke gazed between the four of them and smiled weakly as she lifted her gun, "I've never known what I was doing"

XoXoXoX

It took electric shocks and punching to pin Raven to the table and even then she was putting up a fight.

Octavia pulled herself up by the cuffs and kicked a man to the ground and rendered him unconscious. They seemed to realise how much damage she was doing because they called more guards to help hold her back. Even Lexa needed be restrained when she caused a man to hit himself with the electrical pulse instead of Raven.

It took double the doctors and triple the guards but finally Raven was chained down. She looked to Octavia who was still fighting against her restraints for strength. Their eyes met just as the drill pierced her skin.

Lexa snarled at Cage as Raven's cries ripped through the air mixed with Octavia's calls.

Everyone was shouting at Cage and it was chaos. Kane and Abbey were trying to appeal to his better nature whilst Miller was still trying to calm Harper whose cries had increased. Octavia was keeping her eyes locked with Raven's as if she was afraid the girl would give up if she broke it. Lexa had broken free from one her guards and was attempting to kick the doctor currently drilling into Raven's side.

Through the chaos and the terror somehow they all heard it. Somehow the voice broke through the noise.

"Cage"

Lexa dropped her legs, Octavia stopped her movements, Abbey and Kane were silenced, even the doctor stopped drilling causing Raven's cries to quiet into slow sobs.

The silence was deafening. Cage himself seemed frozen.

Nobody reacted until the voice came through Emerson's radio again.

"Cage I'm inside the mountain. I can see you… and I have your father. Let. My. People. Go"

Nobody could miss the threat.

**Whoops I didn't keep it to three... We all knew that was going to happen, I'm so sorry :)**

**Like I said before don't hate me too much and please keep the reviews coming they're my reaper drug... in a good way**


	7. It's enough to want to make you try pt 4

**Pre warning this is so much longer than I expected it to be!**

**The pain will stop soon I promise XD**

**Just to say thank you for the follows, favourites and amazing reviews!**

_You can fall asleep on my knees,_

_and I'll hold your hand._

_Separate yourself from the darkness in this world,_

_and slip into a peaceful land._

Clarke stood looking up at the screen above her where Raven was tied down to the table. Her face was scrunched in a silent scream. Octavia stood transfixed on the mechanic and Lexa watching Cage with pure hatred. Her mum and Kane were both eyeing the guards and doctors nearest them.

_And hell will rise,_

_as the sun falls down._

_So close your eyes,_

_I'll wake you when the day sounds._

Echo swallowed and refused to look away from the screen that showed her sister. Bellamy's hand was on her shoulder but she didn't react. She would make Cage pay for what he had done to her people. What he was still doing to Lexa.

_They're never gonna break me,_

_never gonna change us._

_This war is not on flesh and bone,_

_this war wages in us._

Octavia was glaring at Cage as he continued to stare at the radio in his hand. She was livid. Cage would suffer before this night was through… Octavia was sure of that. If not Octavia then Clarke would make her pay.

_And it burns like a fire._

_And it burns like a fire._

_And there's a voice inside my head,_

_and it's telling me to be brave._

_When the darkness comes._

Jasper pulled Maya with him. They got about half way down the corridor before she pulled them to a stop, "Go back Jasper. I'll be safe in the mess hall"

She turned to leave but he pulled her back. Maya looked up at him in confusion before he closed the gap between them.

_And if you ain't scared,_

_then you ain't human._

_And it burns like a fire,_

_it burns like a fire._

_And we're all running from our lives somehow,_

_terrified at what do we'll find,_

_when the walls come falling down._

Abbey felt a tear escape her and a small smile gave her away as she breathed out, "Clark"

She was okay. She was in the mountain and she was okay. Her eyes shifted to the girl next to her and Lexa did the same. Abbey smiled weakly in relief and to her surprise Lexa reciprocated. Maybe there was someone other than her that had Clarke's best interest at heart.

_When the walls come falling..._

_When the walls come falling..._

_And it burns like a fire,_

_and it burns like a fire._

_(They never gonna break me,_

_they never gonna change us)_

_And it burns like a fire,_

_and it burns like a fire._

_(They never gonna break me,_

_they never never gonna change us)_

Bellamy narrowed his eyes as he looked down at them all. Him and Clarke both felt the responsibility for these kids; their people. These kids had followed them through so much and they still held hope. They were going to get them out.

_Tell me,_

_did it feel right?_

_(Never gonna change us)_

_To kill something so defenceless?_

_(And it burns like a fire)_

_Tell me,_

_did it feel right?_

_To kill something so defenceless?_

_(And it burns like a fire)_

_Never gonna break me,_

_They never gonna change us._

_And it burns like a fire,_

_and it burns like a fire._

_They never gonna break me,_

_they never gonna change us._

_They never gonna break me._

"Clarke" Cage breathed out. He slowly held the radio to his mouth, "I wondered when I would be hearing from you"

"Don't play games Cage, I'm not. I want them, all of them, and I want them now"

He grinned and looked up to the camera in the corner, "It's like a game of chess Clarke… Your move, my move… only… I think you're bluffing Clarke. Even if you did have him… you couldn't shoot him"

What came next jolted the grin from his features, "Son…"

Her next words were slow and purposeful, "I've got nothing left to lose Cage"

Cage's eyes glanced over the room and they lingered just a second longer on Abbey and Lexa, which wasn't missed by Abbey, "If you shoot him then I'll kill everyone in this room"

"You need them. You need them for bone marrow… I have no reason to keep Dante alive"

Cage looked to Emerson and whispered something before raising the radio again, "I don't need all of them Clarke. I don't need Lexa"

With that the guards holding Lexa and chained her and, with Emerson's help, dragged her towards Cage. Lexa growled and bared her teeth at him as she forced into a kneeling position in front of him. Her limbs were hardly shaking anymore as the danger became a stronger for her.

"I will shoot him Cage"

He pulled out a gun and pressed it to Lexa's forehead. A few whimpers sounded from behind her and it shocked Lexa to hear Abbey and Raven's "No!" enter the mix. Having more than one person that cared enough for her wellbeing to want her alive was new territory for Lexa. Stupidly that scared her more than the gun pressed to her.

"I will contaminate level 5"

That stopped Cage.

Abbey squeaked in shock and even Lexa held her breath.

Raven shared a pained look with Octavia who looked down at her with concern, "Are you okay?" She mouthed.

Raven considered shaking her head but she knew Octavia already knew the answer. They weren't out of this yet, she needed to be strong, she gripped the table and nodded.

Octavia gave her a brief nod.

"You don't have the nerve"

"Take the gun away from her head"

Lexa watched him behind hooded eyes and he gazed down at her. They held contact for a while before he slowly lowered the gun.

But before Clarke could demand anything else Cage raised the gun and struck Lexa across the face with such force that caused her to cry out from shock and fall back into the guard. Instantly she could feel the blood seeping out and knew it was deep.

Abbey watched with wide eyes and held her breath for Clarke's next move.

"Check" Cage whispered into the radio. He had a maddened look behind his eyes.

XoXoXoX

Clarke didn't move for a few minutes. She hadn't missed the way Bellamy had tensed, or the way Monty had jumped and she certainly hadn't missed the tensing of Echo's muscles or the growl that erupted from her.

What was obviously to her was the surge of anger that coursed through her when Lexa had been struck. She wasn't a fool, she knew Lexa could take it, but that wasn't the point.

Clarke looked to Monty, "Is it ready?"

He nodded and turned to Dante who watched her intently, "Please Clarke I didn't have a choice"

"Yes you did" She whispered and raised the gun, "I never wanted it to come to this"

"Please" He tried one last time before she pressed the radio and fired.

He fell to the ground as Clarke turned back to the screens. She knew they had all heard the shot by the look on their faces. Now they really would think she was a monster…

"Check"

XoXoXoX

Cage was in shock looking down at Lexa. She watched him with determined eyes. She knew Clarke was watching and maybe even her sister, if she was to die now then she wouldn't be seen begging for death at the feet of this man.

He seemed to consider shooting her for a minute then think better of it.

"I won't release your people Clarke"

Cage nodded to the doctor who turned the drill back on and continued with Raven whose screams started out again. Octavia thrashed with new venom. Knowing Clarke was somewhere fighting for them all had inspired everyone. They all seemed to have a new lease of life.

Lexa chose Cage's momentary distraction to dive away from the guards and toward the nearest captive; Abbey.

The older Griffin's eyes widened as Lexa came face to face with her. She pulled against the guards and looked at Abbey intently as she slipped the piece of metal into her hands.

"Get them out" she whispered before being pulled back. Abbey nodded ever so slightly but Cage took no notice he was still angered from his father's death.

Lexa was pushed down again but this time she fought back. Ignoring the blood now leaking down her face she did the only thing that made sense. Head-butting Cage in the crotch.

He groaned and keeled over. The guards tightened their grip on her but she was ready this time. Pulling back from the left guard she threw her head back and heard a satisfying crunch as the blow landed and he crumpled behind her.

With one arm free Lexa had the upper hand. Swinging round she grabbed the man brought her knee up to collide with his face. His nose broke from under the force and he attempted to pull away but Lexa wasn't done. Putting all of her strength into it she swung him round and him the wall where another crunch sounded. This time he made no noise as he fell to the ground dead.

She turned to the doctor and dove across the table at him. She had him pinned against the wall by the throat when a shot rang out and she cried out in pain. Falling to the ground in a heap Lexa could only groan in pain as the bullet lodged itself in her right side.

Silence fell around the room again as all eyes turned to Cage who stood on the other side with the gun raised still. He merely raised the radio and said, "Your move Clarke"

But Clarke never replied to Cage.

XoXoXoX

Back in the control room Clarke had pulled the switch the moment Lexa was shot.

Monty watched her open mouthed, Bellamy just stared, Echo nodded but it was Jasper that spoke.

"How could you? Those people helped you Clare! They helped your people… Maya is down there" He didn't wait for a reply before he grabbed his gun and was out of the room.

Clarke felt sick as she looked back down to her hands.

XoXoXoX

Jasper had shot and killed four guards by the time he reached the mess hall and by then it was too late. He pushed the doors open and searched quickly for Maya.

She lay on her own, the burns already settling in, but was awake and watching him with saddened eyes. He knelt down next to her dropping the gun.

"Jasper" she gasped out.

"Shhh" She silenced her as a tear fell.

She smiled up at him through the raw skin and raised a burnt hand to his face, "I could love you" she whimpered.

He kept her hand there and nodded as more tears fell, "And I you"

Guards smashed through the door and raised their guns but he didn't care. Jasper couldn't say at what point he had become a killer, become the person he was today… maybe it was always happening and he never realised.

Jasper wasn't stupid though. He knew the truth. The 100 were toxic, they were cursed, doomed to this life the moment Jaha sent them down here because on earth this is who they were.

Gun shots could be heard throughout the screams of level 5 but Jasper didn't care. He welcomed the piercing metal in his skin. From the moment he stepped on the ground he had been doomed to this fate.

Besides there were worse things than death

XoXoXoX

Clarke didn't have time to visit level 5. She had to get to her people, get to her mum, and get to _Lexa_. They ran through the halls towards the dorms. Bellamy stopped at the corner and leant round before pulling back. He looked to the other three grimly.

"Emerson" he said.

Clarke pulled out her gun but Echo stopped her. Her eyes darkened and she growled, "Allow me"

Clarke nodded and she whipped round the corner. A round of bullets and a grunt later Echo's voice called them round.

Emerson lay dead on the ground and she stood above him eyes wild and dark. He sword was at her side coated in blood and a splatter went up her shit and across her face. It would have terrified Clarke if she hadn't been around Lexa for so long.

Monty however hadn't, "Shit"

Bellamy nodded and made his way towards the door. Looking to Clarke before he opened it he asked, "You ready?"

She raised the gun with a blank expression, "Do it"

He yanked the door open and Raven's screams were the first thing to hit her. Firing a round she killed the doctor instantly and he slumped over the table. Bellamy stood at her side and fired at the nearest guards.

Echo stormed into the room last and took out the remaining guards with the slice of her sword painting the walls in blood.

Clarke lowered her gun slightly and walked into the room. Cage was gone along with two guards.

"Shit" Monty cried from behind her again.

Bellamy moved to Octavia who was attempting to free herself and reach Raven. The moment she was free she rushed to Raven's side and pushed the doctor off the hyperventilating girl.

Raven was crying and attempting to get out of the restraints.

"Shh I've got you okay? I've got you"

The moment Raven was free she flung her arms around Octavia who held her tightly. Bellamy had released Miller and Harper and was moving to Kane when Clarke noticed who else was missing.

She turned to her mum, "Where's Lexa?"

Echo spun round at the name and moved to Clarke's side. Abbey was pushing back tears as her hands were released, "Cage took her… I'm sorry Clarke"

Clarke gripped the gun tightly as anger she didn't realise was there surged through her, "Where?"

Abbey nodded towards the second door to her right, "I don't know where it leads"

She nodded and turned to Echo. Her face was hard and cold matching the blood splattered across it and Clarke could see the determination already written there before she asked, "Help me?"

Echo raised her head, "Of course" she growled slowly.

Clarke turned to Bellamy who was helping Octavia with Raven and caught his eye, "Get everyone down to medical"

She turned to leave but he pulled her back, "Clarke there is still an army in this mountain waiting to kill us"

Echo moved forward next to them, "Then let our army in"

Clarke looked at her bewildered, "The army retreated"

She shook her head, "No. You didn't think we would leave our commander did you?"

She suddenly had a deeper respect for the grounders that she hadn't felt before this point. Bellamy coughed and drew their attention back to him, "Alright we'll head down and let the army in"

Echo raised her sword, "We will join you shortly"

Clarke looked to Raven who was being tended to by Octavia and her mum. She felt another flutter of anger. Turning around she lead Echo through the second door.

Together they climbed down the steps and followed the narrow corridor. It looked as if Cage had this escape planned for this situation exactly and Clarke couldn't help but wonder if it led back to the main halls.

After passing a few more steps the slope began to steepen and they reached a containment door. Clarke moved to the control panel but Echo pushed her sword through the gap to pry the door open.

Once the gap was big enough she slipped through and helped Clarke before removing her sword. This side of the door was a reaper tunnel and they followed it up towards the surface. She was fearful they would reach the forest because if that happened there was little chance they would find Cage.

Hearing footsteps up ahead caused Clarke to raise her gun and Echo to do the same with her sword. The two stepped around the next corner and were dazzled for a moment by the blinding light of day at the end of the tunnel.

The sound of water alerted Clarke to the fact that they were at the Dam and at a similar point to where she had jumped with Anya not a few months before. Oh how things had changed since then.

At the end stood Cage. He was holding Lexa with one arm and injecting her in the neck with a now empty vial.

Two guards were at each side of Cage with guns raised and pointing at the two girls. Clarke was too focused on the vial to take any notice of the threat.

Cage grinned at Clarke and dropped the needle, "Too late Clarke"

She couldn't say what had finally pushed her over the edge. Maybe it was the point she watched Raven scream on the table, maybe it was the look on Octavia's face as she watched it happen, maybe it was the killing of every innocent man, woman and child in mount weather. Or maybe it was watching Cage overdose Lexa and the shaking of her muscles increase as the pain crossed her face.

Whatever it was it was enough. Clarke fired as Echo moved forward to deal with the guards. One managed to get a shot out but each one missed her as she dove and sliced him.

Clarke wasn't watching though, her focus was on Cage, and she stared as his face crumpled. He stepped away from Lexa as a cough caused blood to pour from his mouth. Cage's eyes met hers and she watched them fade slightly as he fell backwards ever slowly over the edge. Cage fell down the fall of water with five bullets lodged in his chest. He was dead before he hit the water.

"Check mate" Clarke whispered.

She was at Lexa's side in and instant. To her credit she was still standing and only needed to lean on Clarke slightly. Echo came to other side and lifted an arm around her neck.

Clarke lowered her hands to Lexa's side and found the bullet wound. Lexa turned to her with pained eyes, "Get it out"

Arguing against the idea wasn't ideal so she agreed but looked to Echo for help again. Together they lowered her so Clarke could have easy access to the wound.

"Do you have a knife?" She asked Echo. The grounder nodded and pulled one out of her boot.

Clarke took it and looked to Lexa, "This is going to hurt"

**Okay so four still isn't enough… It shall be done in the next one! I promise but in the meantime enjoy this yeah?**

**The song from the last chapter was The Vaults - One last night **

**The one from this chapter is Shelby Merry – When the darkness comes**

**Please keep the reviews coming they're amazing! I love each and every one of you**


	8. It's enough to want to make you try pt 5

**This is it - The last part :')**

**Don't worry though it's not the last chapter.**

**Thanks for the amazing reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ? Nope**

Bellamy ducked round the corner as another round was fired towards them. The bullets exploded where his head had been not a moment before. Reloading his gun he exposed himself for a moment and open fired. He watched two gunmen fall before ducking back down again.

It was chaos. The large hall was filled with grounders, sky people and mountain men alike. The sounds of the dying could just about be heard over the cries of war.

A sound to his left forced Bellamy to turn, his gun aimed ready to open fire as the door opened, and he watched as Clarke came first supporting Lexa with Echo on the other side. They spotted him and moved to duck down next to him on the ground.

The commander was pale and shaking slightly but otherwise held firm with a sword in one hand. She clearly wasn't going to sit this fight out.

Clarke moved next to him and drew her gun, "What's happening?"

He tried to ignore the intimidating look of the two grounders as they watched him, "We've taken the lowest level, that was easy, but once we got here the army appeared. It's taking a long time to push them all back to the upper levels"

Clarke nodded and Lexa spoke up, "We have to take the mountain"

Echo agreed and Clarke looked to them, "We will"

Bellamy piped up again, "Our priority is taking the medical bay. If we do that then we have somewhere to treat the wounded"

Before they could say anything else Raven appeared supported by Octavia. They threw themselves down opposite Bellamy and Clarke as bullets followed them.

Octavia nodded over her shoulder, "The hall back there is clear and your mum's treating the wounded but we really need that medical bay"

Clarke's gaze landed on Raven who was looking equally as pale as Lexa, "Are you okay?"

Her hand was at her side where the drill hole was and she glowered at Clarke, "I have a hole in my side Clarke"

Bellamy grinned and raised his gun again causing Octavia to frown, "What's funny about that?"

"Absolutely nothing" He said before moving from cover and shooting the mountain men. As he pulled back Clarke leaned out and shot a round before moving back.

"Cage is dead but they're still fighting" Echo unsheathed her sword and swiped it as a mountain man attempted to run towards them.

"They don't know he's dead" Octavia pointed out, "He was a coward, he didn't fight up front, they probably think he's alive somewhere in the mountain"

"Some of them aren't wearing suites" Clarke noted as a few men ran past them towards the oncoming hoard.

"Cage had been drilling for a while before you got here"

The thought made Clarke sick as she remembered how few had been in the dorm when she got there. Pushing the thought down she turned to Lexa who was still shaking.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Lexa nodded and her commander expression returned, "My people need me to fight alongside them Clarke"

She refrained from pointing out that they also needed her alive but said, "Once the drug starts to take effect you won't be able to fight"

"How long?" Echo at least seemed to be concerned for Lexa's health.

"Not long" Clarke bit her lip, "Lincoln said it would take hours when he was injected but Lexa's been given a lot of the drug and she's already shaking"

Echo nodded and Bellamy moved to a crouching position drawing they're attention, "We better do this quickly then"

They all moved to the edge and watched as the two sides moved together again. Their group charged out to the front of the grounder army. At the sight of Lexa they seemed to gain a new lease of life and they roared louder than before. Echo and Lexa joined in and soon enough they were all roaring together, sky people included.

The room was drowning in the blood that had already been spilt and now they would add to it.

XoXoXoX

Abbey cried out as another grounder's heart gave out from underneath her. This was supposed to be something she could do but so far they all seemed to be dying in her care rather than recovering. Nyko closed the woman's eyes and gave Abbey a sympathetic look.

"We cannot save them all"

"It's my job to save them" she pointed out.

He shook his head, "Not everyone can be saved and today not everyone will be"

Abbey thought of Clarke and the look that had been in her eyes before she had left that room. She prayed to god that Clarke could forgive herself after all was done here.

They doors to the hall opened and a group walked in. Clarke was first followed closely by Bellamy and Lexa. The other grounder was helping Octavia Support Raven who was unconscious.

Abbey stood and went to hug Clarke but she ducked out of it and pointed to Raven, "She's been shot"

The tension was high as Clarke refused to meet her eyes but that would have to wait until later. Abbey pulled Nyko with her and indicated to an empty place on the floor.

"Lay her down here"

Octavia helped place her but refused to move from her side, "Can you save her?"

Abbey wasn't going to lie to Octavia, "It's serious but I'll do what I can"

"Octavia" The young warrior looked over her shoulder and met the commander's eyes, "I need you to join me and Echo down in the cell rooms"

"What? Why?" Clarke was watching her with wide eyes.

Lexa turned to her, "We have to stop them releasing the reapers. If they do that then none of us will survive this Clarke"

She hated it. The idea of Lexa going down there and seeing her people like that especially with the drug currently coursing through her system. But she knew that they didn't have a choice, Lexa was right, the reapers couldn't be allowed out.

Bellamy nodded slowly, "You three go, I need to find Jasper and Monty, Clarke you take Monroe and everyone else forward from here to the medical bay"

"Where's Jasper and Monty?" Octavia seemed to have only just noticed the two missing boys.

"Jasper went to level 5" Clarke shared a look with Bellamy. Nobody here except Echo knew what she had done.

"Why would he go to level 5?"

Clarke stayed silent but Octavia seemed to catch on, "Clarke what did you do?"

"What I had to do" She refused to meet Lexa's gaze, afraid of what she would find there, her mum was trying to catch her eye but she just couldn't do it. Seeing the horror in Octavia's eyes was too much for her.

"How could you do that? Those people were innocent Clarke!"

"I know that!" She cried, "But what was I supposed to do? Let you all die? Let Raven die?"

"Don't" Octavia stepped forward and both Lexa and Bellamy moved to intervene but Clarke stopped them, "Don't you dare bring her into this. All of us have stood by you since the beginning. Raven was shot, she can't walk, Wells is dead, shit, most of the 100 are dead! We followed you Clarke!"

"I'm doing the best I can! I never asked for this Octavia!" she could feel the tears coming. Clarke was so overwhelmed and tired.

Octavia wasn't having it though, seeing Raven fall had set her on a war path, "Finn only ever wanted peace, he died because he killed people looking for you, you Clarke! You beat Lincoln, you shot him and let him die, You left the people in TonDC!"

"Alright fine it's my fault. It's my fault that Wells died, that Finn killed those people, that Lincoln's dead, that those people in TonDC died… It's my fault that Raven's been shot and it's my fault that everyone is either dying or dead! Happy?"

Octavia shook her head, "I trusted you Clarke… and now their blood is on your hands"

She turned and walked away followed closely by Echo. Bellamy moved to follow and her mum went back to Raven. She wanted to be sick, Octavia was right after all, their blood was on her hands. She was the only one to blame.

"Clarke" She didn't want to look. Didn't want to see the horror in Lexa's eyes as well, "Clarke look at me"

A finger lifted her chin and she was forced to look. Clarke was jolted by the understanding that she found waiting for her in those eyes, "Clarke we've all done things in this war. Believe me when I say that it doesn't define you… I take some of that burden, those deaths; I am as much to blame as you"

Clarke nodded and allowed herself to be kissed before she moved to leave, "I will see you when we have taken the mountain Clarke"

Her heart was heavy as she watched Lexa walk away. She had a job to do. Looking to Monroe they shared a nod.

XoXoXoX

Monty was sitting quietly in the empty halls. The battle had long since moved up to the upmost and highest level. He knew it was dwindling and the battle would soon be over. His tears had stopped falling by now.

He was sitting in blood and surrounded by bodies of grounders and mountain men alike. He didn't notice though because he had seen it, seen the massacre of level 5, he had seen Jasper's body lying over Maya's. Jasper was dead. He had been their saviour during the last few days and he had died surrounded by the innocent.

None of them were innocent anymore. The 100 had long since lost themselves. Monty remembered their first day on the earth and could hardly believe what they had been through.

He looked up at the clock and watched as it struck midnight.

"Happy Birthday Monty" He mumbled.

XoXoXoX

Clarke waited until the last mountain man was dead to lower her gun. It took a few moments but slowly they seemed to realise the war was over and a low cheer ran down the army. What was left of them anyway.

Clarke made her way out of the room and moved back towards the medical bay. She was anxious to start saving some lives rather than take them. The gun in her hand felt twice as heavy.

Maybe happiness would come but she couldn't do that right now. There was still too much for her too lose. She had to know if Raven was alive, see if Bellamy had found Jasper and Monty, find Octavia and try to salvage their friendship but most of all… She had to find Lexa.

The medical bay was filled with people. She spotted Miller hugging his father tightly as tears fell, could see grounders being reunited in the aftermath and she watched as Nyko ran between beds attempting to save people.

She found Kane in one of the beds. He had re-opened his wound at some point and Clarke had to walk away because it reminded her too much of Lexa being shot and Raven being drilled for bone marrow.

Her mum was a few beds behind Kane trying to get a grounder to eat something. She looked up as Clarke approached and moved towards her. She pulled them into a tight hug and stroked the back of Clarke's head.

"It's okay"

She knew she was covered in blood but there was blood there that she couldn't see, blood there that she wouldn't be able to wash away, "I couldn't – I tried… I tried to be the good guy"

Her mum pulled away and gave her a weak smile before wiping away the blood from a gash on her cheek, "Maybe there aren't any good guys"

She pulled her into another hug but they broke away a moment later as a commotion at the door distracted them. Clarke was horrified to see Echo trying to support an unconscious Lexa.

"Clarke there's a private room back here. Let's keep her away from the rest of the grounders"

She knew that was a good idea. The grounders didn't need to see their commander like this. Helping Echo with Lexa they got her in the bed and Clarke finally took notice of the heavy shaking of her muscles.

"What happened?"

Echo looked down at her sister with watery eyes, "She was surrounded by a group of doctors… they injected her again"

Abbey jumped forward as Lexa started to come to. Her eyes were almost black and seemed not to see them as her body started to convulse on the bed. Between the movements she seemed to be trying to fight off a threat that they couldn't see.

"Help me strap her down"

Echo seemed to be reluctant to restrain her but Clarke reassured her, "If we don't she could injure herself or one of us"

It took an effort but they eventually had her down. Lexa's face was contorted in pain as she cried out. Her whole body was still violently shaking.

"Mum"

"I know Clarke"

After a vicious convulsion caused her to give a final cry of pain she fell silent. Her eyes closed but her body continued to shake.

Abbey stepped forward and lifted Lexa's shirt, "Clarke I need to deal with the bullet wound first. Can you go and assist with the wounded? I promise you I'll handle this"

Echo said nothing but followed Clarke outside anyway.

"She will be okay?"

Clarke faced her, "My mum's the best"

Echo nodded and winced. Clarke noticed the blood seeping from her shoulder and led her over to an empty bed, "Here let me"

Clarke continued to move around the bay for hours to come. She was going through the motions, healing people as she went, but she wasn't completely sure of what she was supposed to do now. All Clarke knew was that Lexa was receiving the help she needed. She was too afraid to try and find anyone else.

XoXoXoX

Octavia burst into the medical bay. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes puffy from the many tears she had shed already that day. Clarke looked up from the grounder she tending too and made her way over.

Upon seeing Clarke she seemed to become more frantic and gripped the grieving girl roughly around the shoulders, "Where is she?"

Clarke's drooping eyes held the tears she had yet to spill and she was still recovering from the shock herself. She swallowed and opened her mouth but couldn't quite get the words out. The rough treatment from Octavia wasn't helping either.

The lack of response only seemed to enrage her, "Clarke I asked you a question god damn it!"

Abbey was watching them and decided to intervene. Walking over she pulled Clarke away from Octavia's grasp and into a gentle hug.

"Octavia-"

"Will someone just answer me already? Where is she Abbey? Where's Raven?"

The two Griffin's shared a look.

Clarke hadn't heard of what had happened to Raven but her mother had mentioned she was recuperating somewhere at the back of the room. Abbey put her hand out to steady Octavia.

"She's not awake but her vitals are good and I'm confident that she'll make a full recovery. Follow me"

Clarke watched them go and got her first look at Raven since entering the medical bay. Her hair was down, the blood and dirt still covered her skin, but she was alive and Clarke felt another weight lift from her shoulder.

The doors opened again as Bellamy came in closely followed by Monroe and Monty. Their sombre expressions told Clarke everything.

_I can hold my breath  
I can bite my tongue  
I can stay awake for days  
If that's what you want  
Be your number one_

She dodged Bellamy's outstretched arms and raced from the medical bay. Her feet carrying her all the way to level 5.

_I can fake a smile  
I can force a laugh  
I can dance and play the part  
If that's what you ask  
Give you all I am_

She stopped outside the doors to the mess hall for a second before opening the doors slowly.

_I can do it  
I can do it  
I can do it_

Clarke fell into the nearest table at the sight. Dead bodies lay everywhere. Children in the middle of playing. The elderly slumped in their seats at the table where they had been eating. Parents keeled over on the floor. Their eyes were wide and unforgiving.

_But I'm only human  
And I bleed when I fall down  
I'm only human  
And I crash and I break down  
Your words in my head, knives in my heart  
You build me up and then I fall apart  
'Cause I'm only human_

She collapsed to the ground at the sight of Jasper. The tears she had been fighting all day poured down her face in quick succession.__

_I can turn it on  
Be a good machine  
I can hold the weight of worlds  
If that's what you need  
Be your everything_

Bellamy looked up from his place next to Raven when she walked back through the doors. Raven was awake and watching her as everyone else did the same.

_I can do it  
I can do it  
I'll get through it_

She stopped not far from the bed and met Octavia's hard stare.

"I'm sorry" was all she got out before the tears started again.

_But I'm only human  
And I bleed when I fall down  
I'm only human  
And I crash and I break down  
Your words in my head, knives in my heart  
You build me up and then I fall apart  
'Cause I'm only human_

Her mum was there to hold her as she fell to the ground. Everyone was dying. Everyone was dead… and it was all her fault.

_I'm only human  
I'm only human  
Just a little human_

Her fault. Octavia was right. It was all on her.

_I can take so much  
'Til I've had enough_

She killed innocent people and they were still looking to her to lead.

_'Cause I'm only human  
And I bleed when I fall down  
I'm only human  
And I crash and I break down  
Your words in my head, knives in my heart  
You build me up and then I fall apart  
'Cause I'm only human_

"I can't do it" She cried into her mum's arms.

**I hope that was a satisfying end to mount weather? ye? ne?**

**The song is Human by Christina Perrir if you didn't recognise it :)**

**Let me know what you think aha. Things aren't always going to be this depressing by the way haha **

**Please keep the reviews coming**

**I love you all**


	9. They take a piece of me

**Hereeeeeeeee it is**

**So I still have a plan even if we are out of the woods (slightly)**

**Please enjoy!**

**Still loving those reviews guys**

**Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing**

When Raven woke up for the second time she could feel the heavy pressure on her right side. It was a different feeling compared to the throbbing pain in her left side. The bullet wound in her chest ached more as her senses heightened.

Opening her eyes she was met with Octavia lying against her fast asleep. She smiled weakly and looked around. There was a dull hum as the last remaining few grounders were discharged or visiting the remaining few. Most had opted to recover back at the camp that had taken up outside the entrance to mount weather yesterday. She looked at the clock and noticed it was mid-afternoon.

Clarke noticed she was awake and moved over from the bed she was at, "Hey"

Raven smiled and shifted into a sitting position careful not to wake Octavia, "Hey"

She sat down on Raven's left side, "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, "I'm okay I guess. I've been better though"

Clarke nodded and smiled weakly, "I'm glad you're alive Raven"

"You too Griffin"

They shared a smile and Raven sighed, "How's Lexa?"

She looked down to her fingers that were twisting the bedsheets, "No change. My mum said the drug has left her system but because of the high dose she received it's damaged her nerve endings… She's got this nervous way about her now. She's still tough but she's always moving now and sometimes I can see the fear there"

"She's haunted by it… We all are"

Clarke sighed, "I know but she's trained for this"

"She's still human though Clarke. Lexa was going to reach breaking point sometime"

"Cage won"

It was so quiet that Raven almost missed it, "I'm sorry?"

"Cage won" Clarke repeated and met Raven's eyes, "He's dead and we took the mountain but really he won. Lexa won't ever be the same again, my mum said she'll always have moments like that, moments when the memories hit her and nightmares tear her from sleep. All of us are changed because of what he did"

"Cage didn't win Clarke and if you live the rest of your life acting like he has then you're just letting him win"

Clarke didn't reply so Raven continued, "Cage is dead. The marrow treatment was never complete, Lexa's still alive, I'm still alive, you're still here. Cage lost Clarke and now we have to learn how to move on and you need to learn how to forgive yourself for the things you've done"

"I can't do that"

Raven rolled her eyes, "You expect Lexa to recover and move on? You want her to forgive herself?"

"Of course" she looked affronted.

"It's the same for you Clarke"

She was about to reply when Octavia shifted. They both looked as the younger Blake moved into an upright position. She smiled when she saw that Raven was awake but frowned the moment she spotted Clarke.

Feeling the awkwardness Clarke mumbled a goodbye to Raven and left.

Octavia moved closer to Raven and went to hold her hand but she pulled it away. Octavia gave her a questioning look.

"You need to forgive Clarke"

"No I don't" snapped Octavia.

Raven glared down at her, "The decisions she made whilst she was at war can't be held against her Octavia. She needs to forgive herself and for that to happen then you need to forgive her too… We all have battle scars Octavia"

She nodded and went to hold Raven's hand again, this time she didn't pull away, "Thank you"

Raven raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"Not dying"

"Well you're welcome" she laughed slightly.

Octavia shook her head, "I'm serious. I couldn't handle losing you too… I care about you Reyes"

Raven's face turned serious and she squeezed Octavia's hand, "I care about you too Blake"

They smiled slightly for a moment. Neither was going to admit the stronger attraction; not today anyway. Too many people had died and there was too much blood on their hands. Raven was right though maybe once they had learnt to forgive themselves then they could finally move on.

Octavia scrunched her nose slightly in thought and Raven laughed, "What?"

She looked at Raven, "You're just a bullet magnet aren't you?"

Raven laughed and grinned at her causing Octavia to smile back, "Maybe I am"

XoXoXoX

Echo was scrubbing the dirt and blood from Lexa's clothes when Bellamy entered the tent.

They had retrieved her items when they had discovered the room Lexa had been kept in. They had also found Cage's notes on the treatment she had undergone in those few short hours. Abbey had seen then so she knew how best to treat her, Echo had read them but not understood any of it and Clarke didn't even know they existed. Abbey was convinced that Clarke couldn't handle the information on top of everything else.

Echo was too afraid to ask what the notes meant.

She had seen her sister in the following hours and it scared her to no end. The last time they had seen each other Lexa had been the commander for nearly a year. That was before Costia, before her death had hardened Lexa's soul and before Clarke had appeared ready to soften it again. Sometimes Echo couldn't help but wonder who was saving who in that relationship because that's what it was. A relationship. Whether the two were aware of it or not.

Now without the war and the threat of death maybe they would both find the strength to pull them up from this and admit their feelings.

Echo knew that she and Lexa had things to talk through but that could wait. She needed to recover and their people needed to mourn.

She didn't give him a chance to speak, "Usually we have people to do this for us"

He stood next to her and watched her work, "Then why are you?"

"I feel like it should be me"

He nodded in understanding and she remembered for a moment that he too had a younger sister. He opened his mouth to speak again, "If you're older then weren't you chosen as commander?"

She didn't look up but shrugged her shoulders, "Our commanders are chosen by spirit, not by age, the previous commander's spirit chose Lexa not me. It is our way"

"How old was she?"

She stopped the scrubbing for a moment and looked blankly ahead as her mind went back to the day she was chosen, "She was young… Nine winters past. Too young"

He raised a hand to her shoulder gently, "Did you go with her?"

Echo continued to clean, "No. It was not permitted and by the time I could have joined her I was already sent to war"

Bellamy stopped asking questions after that but silently picked her a piece of clothing to help her clean. She didn't stop him.

XoXoXoX

Clarke visited Lexa twice a day. It became habit and she fell into a pattern. Once in the morning, check the people in medical before lunch, after lunch check the people around camp and mount weather, visit Lexa until bed. She continued to do this for days to come and slowly but surely Lexa seemed to be making an improvement.

Her shaking had stopped but the nervous twitch in her left hand never quite seemed to go away. Also Clarke noticed a new habit she had of scanning her surroundings nervously before she allowed herself to relax slightly.

Her mum said it was all in reaction to the drug. Clarke wasn't so sure.

Only on the fifth day, when Raven and two grounders were the only ones left in the medical bay, did she finally discover the notes left by Cage.

At first she had been angry with her mum for not showing her the notes sooner but after reading them for the tenth time she understood her reasoning. Then her anger shifted, it shifted to a man that was dead, a man she could no longer take her anger out on. Her anger at Cage for Lexa mixed in with everything else. All the guilt mixed with the anger and she felt a burning passion against this man. But there was nobody left for her to hate because they were all dead. She had killed them.

He had drugged her, electrocuted her, beaten her and then drugged her again repeatedly for two and a half hours before moving her upstairs with her mother.

The gash under her eye had healed but left a thin scar that stretched underneath; Lexa said it reminded her of Indra and Clarke agreed. Her hands were raw from the treatment she had received and Clarke missed the softness she had once felt by their touch. The bullet wound was slowly healing and caused problems for Lexa when she tried to move. Clarke had yet to allow her to try and walk.

In some ways Lexa seemed to be reluctant. There were two sides of her these days and Clarke could never guarantee which one she would get; Lexa or the commander. The commander was adamant she would be walking soon and was determined to get back to her people soon and show them how strong she was. Lexa however was afraid. She feared the mountain and feared anything that lay outside of the room she was recovering in.

Lexa was the one bearing the burden. Bearing her battle scars. Clarke felt for her but it was also starting to grate on her nerves.

The change came a week after the fall of the mountain. She walked in after a particularly hard day to find Echo and Abbey standing beside Lexa was dangling from the side of her bed in an attempt to stand up. They all looked up as she entered.

"What's going on?"

Lexa grunted she pushed herself up and swatted away a helping hand from Echo, "I've had enough. I need to be out there with my people not in here hiding"

"You're not hiding you're recovering"

She moved forward to help but Lexa pushed her away too as she stood and both legs. For a moment she stood eyes closed and holding her side before opening them and hardening her features.

"I'll recover better out there"

Clarke nodded. Any other time she would have argued against it but it had been a week now and the Lexa before would have been doing this on the first day. If she was choosing now to start acting more like the commander then fine, Clarke would support that. As long as it didn't hinder her recovery.

"Just don't aggravate your wounds"

"I've been through this with her Clarke" her mother reassured her and she noticed the open notes on the bed.

She looked back to Lexa and saw for the first time a fiery determination there, "You've read them?"

She nodded, "I did. I needed too"

So that's why she was up. Maybe fully understanding the process of what brought you to this point helped you find some closure. Maybe before Lexa could recover she needed the closure on what she had been through. So she could understand and move on.

Clarke smiled. They were going to be okay.

XoXoXoX

Raven wasn't one for patience Octavia discovered and having her side ripped over changed nothing. Part of her was happy about that, that what she had been through hadn't fully changed her, but a part of her wished Raven would just sit still.

Clarke had warned her about getting up and moving around too quickly and irritating her wounds. So far Raven had managed to ignore every word of that.

"Raven would you please sit down?"

The mechanic continued to ignore her and limped towards her bag. She picked it up and tossed the things on her bed inside it.

"Raven please"

"I'm bored Octavia" She rolled her eyes, "I need to be out there helping our people not in here staring at the same four walls day in day out"

Octavia scoffed as Bellamy and Echo entered. Raven was the only patient left in medical now besides Lexa. The only difference was Lexa was permitted to leave.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's bored" All three of them watched as Raven threw the last of her things into the bag.

"Clarke's going to ape shit when she sees you walking around" Bellamy watched her in amusement.

Raven looked up at him, "Well I wasn't planning on telling her, were you?"

Bellamy opened his mouth to speak but a voice overcut his, "Tell who what?"

All of them looked round to see Clarke walking towards them followed by Lexa.

Raven groaned, "I'm checking myself out of here princess"

Octavia smirked, "She thinks she's invisible. Got a cure from pig-headedness?"

Bellamy grinned whilst Echo and Lexa shared a bemused expression. Raven glared at them, "I'm not being pig-headed I'm just tired of waiting around and seeing the same things every day. Besides this mountain make me sick"

Clarke crossed her arms, "Did my mum give you the all clear?"

Raven shoved her way passed and towards the door, "I didn't ask"

She ignored their calls and left the medical bay. Octavia shook her head and made to follow, "I'll get her back here"

"Good luck with that" Bellamy mumbled and then turned to Clarke and Lexa, "What happens to our people now?"

Lexa was dressed in her full black attire without the commander's sash or war paint. Though Bellamy supposed she didn't need to wear it anymore. They weren't at war after all.

"Clarke and I have agreed that it would be best if our people keep the alliance and go back to camp Jaha. My people will set their camp outside of the fence and our people can work together… Some of your people wish to join and learn from mine. This is an opportunity for us all to work together"

Clarke nodded, "Lexa and I are heading to Polis after everyone has settled down. The twelve clans have decided to call a meeting"

He frowned, "What does that mean"

Lexa sighed, "I am not sure but all of the other commanders will be there. I think it is best Clarke came as a representative of the sky people… You are protected under your alliance to me but it would be more practical if I could get you to sign under the alliance of the twelve clans"

Bellamy looked to Echo who was listening quietly to his right, "Can I come?"

She indicated to Clarke, "The decision is Clarke's as to who she choses to accompany her"

Lexa and Echo left shortly after and Bellamy couldn't help but ask, "Am I coming?"

"I'm not sure" She frowned at his pointed look, "I need someone here who can lead the remaining 100. My mother is chancellor and I have no interest in taking that away but we both know the 100 stopped listening to them a long time ago"

He sighed and nodded, "Alright I'll stay and keep them in check but at least take Monroe with you?"

"I'll be fine, I'm with Lexa, besides Octavia is her personal guard so she'll be there too" She agreed anyway though, she had planned on taking Monroe from the beginning.

He seemed slightly more relaxed at her agreement then realised what she said and became tense again, "Wait personal guard? When did that happen?"

Clarke just laughed and shook her head.

**I think people have some stuff to work through?**

**What do you all make of Echo?**

**Please keep the reviews coming? haha love you all**


	10. Where do I begin?

**Just a short chapter here to move over from the depressing moments of the battle.**

**But there is a cute bit at the end so please enjoy, also I know Clarke rides a horse but I'm going to act as though she hasn't, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own jack**

Clarke didn't know what to expect. Lexa had explained the ceremony to her and how the bodies would be piled together with the wood and both of them would be expected to set fire to their people. The level 5 massacre victims had been burnt separately a few days previously, Lexa had burnt them for her, Clarke couldn't stomach seeing those ashes quite yet.

She lay in bed for a while just staring up at the canopy above her. She stayed like that until light started to spill in through the small gaps and she could no longer deny the day. Standing up she walked over to her table and picked up her clothes. She was putting on her shoulder guard when the flap opened behind her and she didn't need to turn to know who it was.

"Clarke"

Lexa made her way over and finished placing the guard so Clarke could strap it on. She then spun Clarke so they were facing each other. Lexa was dressed fully in her armour and had repainted her war paint.

"How do I do this?" she gasped letting her emotions slip just a little.

Lexa watched her for a moment before pulling her in for a hug. Clarke was shocked at first but accepted the hug. She buried her face in the shoulder that didn't have the guard. Lexa's hand went up and held the back of her head. She didn't cry, she had done too much of that already, she just stayed there and enjoyed the closeness of them.

"We shall do this Clarke because they deserve it… Their fight is over"

"Sacrifice the few to save the many"

Suddenly she respected Jaha just a little bit more as a leader.

XoXoXoX

Clarke stood on a raised platform in front of the first pile of wood whilst Lexa stood in front of the second. Octavia held the fire for Lexa and Bellamy held Clarke's. The grounders turned to face Clarke and the sky people, they were going first.

Clarke took the fire from Bellamy and was reminded of the last time she did this for Finn. The thought made her want to run.

Lexa seemed to realise what she was thinking because put her hand out and held Clarke's on the fire. It jolted her because it was the same position she had been in before with Finn. No not the same. Finn had been dead and figment of her guilty mind. Lexa was here, here and alive.

Taking a deep breath she spoke, "In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next, safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground" She paused, "May we meet again"

Lexa steadied her arm as she ignited the bodies of her people. Her hand stayed locked with Clarke's as they watched the flames rise into the sky and Clarke felt the last weight lift from her shoulders.

Clarke looked to her right and found Lexa watching her. She gave her a reassuring smile and Clarke returned it.

"We'll be okay" Lexa repeated her words from a few days ago and Clarke nodded.

"I know we will"

Once the fire was full Lexa stepped forward to ignite her people. Taking the fire from Octavia she turned to the pile and took a deep breath. Clarke stepped forward to take her hand as she had done for her. Lexa had twitched for a second but that was enough for Clarke to notice the slip in her mask.

She gave Clarke a thankful glance as she raised her voice, "Blood has answered blood and now in fire, we cleanse the pain of the past"

With that she pushed the fire down and moments later the wood pile went up burning the last few remnants of the battle. Everyone gradually left until it was just Clarke and Lexa standing together hand in hand in front of the ash.

"We bear it, so they don't have to"

Lexa looked to her and smiled.

XoXoXoX

Octavia walked in the ark to find the mechanic quietly sitting at her work station. She wasn't doing anything though.

"Is this what peace looks like for you?"

She looked up but didn't smile, "Turns out I'm not much use to anyone without an Ark to fix or people to blow up"

Octavia frowned and walked over to her, "That's not true"

"Really?" Raven spun round on her chair, "Clarke is a leader but she's a good doctor as well, Bellamy can fight, You've found your place and even Monty is wanted by the grounders for his plant knowledge… What am I? A mechanic in a world with no need for technology"

Octavia held her arms and looked her in the eyes, "We may not need technology but that doesn't mean we don't need you Raven"

Raven sighed and closed her eyes, "I don't know Octavia. My leg just stops me being any use to anyone"

Octavia watched her and suddenly an idea formed in her head, "Wait here"

"Not like I'm going anywhere" She grumbled.

XoXoXoX

It was early the next morning when Clarke woke Raven up. At first she attempted to kick the girl but then she stopped when Clarke said Octavia had something for her.

"What?"

Clarke grinned, "It's a surprise. Come on"

Raven got dressed and followed Clarke out of the Ark. She surprised when she led her out of the gates of camp Jaha but her eyebrows rose further when they walked further than the grounders camp.

"Clarke, where are we going?"

The girl just smiled over at her and winked, "Just shut up and trust me"

She threw her head back and sighed. Clarke led her to the edge of the woods where Octavia, Abbey, Wick, Bellamy, Lexa and Echo stood.

"What's this?"

Octavia stepped forward with a huge grin across her face, "Just trust me"

Clarke coughed and drew her attention, "I want you to be part of my guard"

"What?" Raven stared at her confused, "But I can hardly walk?"

Wick stepped forward now, "I might be able to solve that problem"

He pulled from behind a new brace and held it out to her, "It's better than yours. For someone that insists on blowing themselves up all the time needs one that can withstand the blast"

Raven took the brace and looked back to Clarke, "But I still won't be fit enough for your guard? Not like before"

"There is a procedure I would like to try"

She looked to Abbey now who explained further, "I can't heal your damaged nerves but there might be something I can do able the muscles in your leg. It would take a while and could be painful, I don't know if you would regain feeling but it can make walking easier"

"Have you done it before?" Raven didn't want to believe it, not yet.

"Once" Abbey smiled, "It wasn't often someone was shot in the back on the ark but I've done it"

"Come to Polis as my guard. Then when we get back my mum will start the procedure… It also gives you time to think it over"

Raven nodded but she wasn't really listening. Her leg… could it possibly work?

Lexa coughed and Raven looked over, "I would like to offer you a gift Raven of the sky people"

"A gift?" She looked to Octavia and Clarke who nodded encouragingly.

Lexa moved to the side as Echo stepped forward pulling a dark brown horse behind her. Raven's eyes widened and she opened her mouth in protest but Lexa raised a hand.

"They are transport. Everyone is expected to ride, including Clarke and Octavia… you can learn together"

She looked to Octavia and Clarke. Octavia was grinning whereas Clarke looked less than thrilled by the prospect of learning how to ride. Raven laughed and nodded her head. To be honest she just wanted to watch Clarke fall on her arse.

Raven moved forward to the horse which lowered its head as she approached. Her hand lifted up and she attentively stroked down its face. Its eyes closed slightly and allowed her to continue this.

Octavia smiled at the others as she watched Raven. Bellamy watched his sister with admiration and Echo gave him a slight smile when he caught her eye.

Clarke sidled over next to Lexa and leaned against her, "Thank you commander"

"You're welcome Clarke" She whispered back.

XoXoXoX

As it turned out, Lexa and Echo were not above laughing at all three of them and after an hour Clarke began to suspect that they were only giving them half-hearted advice.

Neither were Bellamy and Abbey who were watching from the side.

Clarke was using Lexa's horse as she had insisted the stallion was patient and calm. Clarke scoffed as the horse moved a few inches forward again as she attempted to mount it. Raven was the only one on her horse and Echo was holding the mount still as they waited for Clarke and Octavia. She and Lexa were dressed in loose fitting training black leather and Lexa was attempting to help Clarke mount her horse.

"Just put your foot up where I showed you"

Clarke huffed as she tried to pull herself up again. This time Lexa was there ready pull her over as she hoisted her leg over the other side. She pulled herself over in time to see the smile on Lexa's face.

"Alright stop laughing at me"

"I'm not" She lied as another grin split across her face.

**Awww well I hope this tides you over a little until the next chapter :)**

**Ten chapters hmm could haul so far**

**Please review and let me know what you think - Hope you're all still enjoying it!**


	11. All you gave was sweet misery

**Okay this is more of a clexa chapter but there is a lovely Bellamy/Echo moment at the end... anybody know what their ship is going by the name of?**

**I am curious...**

**Anyway I hope you're all still enjoying it and I'm sorry if things are going a bit slow since mount weather but I'm trying to sort a few things out before the next drama comes into play.**

**There's a mini drama and then a BIG drama... The BIG drama will be the end of this fic and I currently have two fitting endings planned so we shall see which one I go with... hmmm**

**It does depend on whether you all want angst or ANGST? **

**I'll leave that with you now on to the chapter...**

**Oh I's also like to reply to the longest review yet...**

**kiarcheo: I am so happy that you caught on with what I was trying to get through with the whole Abby/Lexa, Raven thing... Also my plans for Bellamy and Echo are all starting to come together so I hope you enjoy the ending to this chapoter and the relationship between Echo/Lexa is hinted at... I'm planning a scene between them in the next chapter or so... so it's coming!**

**Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nah don't own nat**

Raven arrived back first. Her horse carried her through the woods and to the edge of the grounders camp, she smiled and patted the horse, this was the perfect solution to her leg. No procedure or brace could ever replace the feeling of riding this horse through the woods. She didn't need to be able to walk to run through the woods like this. Even the pain in her backside was worth it. She could never get over the fresh air hitting her face but feeling it against her skin as she rode was something completely different.

Octavia and Clarke broke through the tree line a moment later. Clarke shifted uncomfortably in the saddle as they approached.

"I don't think I'm going to get over the pain"

Raven shook her head, "It's fully worth it to be able to run again"

They took the horses back and Raven made her way back towards the Ark to have a longer talk with Abbey about what the procedure would entail. Octavia turned to Clarke as they were tying the horses up.

"She loves it more than I thought she would"

Clarke nodded and smiled at Lexa's horse, "I think she appreciates the horse more than the brace"

She frowned in thought, "Do you think she'll go through with the procedure?"

"I don't know" Clarke looked at her face, "Do you want her too?"

"I want her to be happy" She bit her lip, "But your mum says it's painful"

"If it's what she wants..." Clarke trailed off knowing that Octavia already knew this, "You've really gone above and beyond for her O"

"Like I said. I want her to be happy"

Clarke watched her for a while. She was glad they were on speaking terms again. Raven was right, it was easier to forgive herself knowing that Octavia and the others did.

"When do we leave for Polis?"

Clarke pursed her lips. She and Lexa had been arguing about that topic for the last few days. Lexa wanted to leave as soon as possible whereas Clarke wanted to make sure her people could at least take care of themselves first. It didn't help that Lexa was avoiding her either.

"That's err still being decided"

Octavia nodded and followed her back down the path towards camp Jaha. They were approaching the gates when the sounds of a shouting crowd drew their attention. Clarke turned towards the source of the noise. It was coming from the grounders camp.

Clarke growled and narrowed her eyes, "I swear to god…"

"Clarke don't"

She looked at Octavia who was watching her with guilty eyes, "What do you know that I don't Octavia?"

"Don't get mad" She stepped forward to grab her arms, "She didn't have a choice Clarke, tradition dictates-"

"I don't give a dam about their traditions" Clarke stormed away towards the building crowd.

She had no idea what Octavia was going on about but Lexa had been ignoring her for long enough. Breaking through the grounders she stood at the edge of a drawn out circle and her jaw dropped as Lexa was thrown to the ground. The man that stood over her was twice her size and stood with a drawn sword.

He swung towards the commander who rolled out from under the blade just in time. She pulled herself up into a standing position and Clarke could see the dirt smeared across her face. They locked eyes for a moment and Lexa at least had the decency to look guilty.

Her opponent followed her, swinging around to face her, he pulled his sword up ready to strike her across the chest. She moved backwards and just avoided the end of blade as he dived towards her again. This time she jumped into a roll towards her sword that had been discarded at the side.

In one clean swipe she spun round and faced him pulling the blade across as she did. Clarke stepped back in shock as his head was ripped away from his body. The blood splattered across Lexa's front as she pulled his head up.

It wasn't until the body had landed heavy against the ground that the cheers erupted around them. Only Clarke remained silent as Lexa turned to face them with the head still in her left hand.

Lexa's gaze met Clarke's and the anger that had been burning at the pit of her stomach came to the surface as she stared Lexa down.

Clarke waited until they were safely back in the commander's tent before erupting, "What the hell was that? I mean seriously Lexa I thought this was meant to be times of peace and mourning! One minute you're giving Raven a horse and promising peace to all then next you're ripping a man's head off"

Lexa sighed and began wiping the blood and dirt from her face, "Clarke he challenged my authority. Tradition dictates that I accept the challenge otherwise it would only spread more doubt amongst the men. He stood up in front of all my men and declared the lack of faith he had in me… I know I promised you peace and that will happen but for now my people need to have complete faith in me and that wouldn't have happened if I didn't accept"

"Are you even sorry?" Lexa stopped her actions, "You took a life, after everything we've been through, you took a life"

"Clarke are you really going to question me on taking a life?"

Clarke stepped closer her anger building at Lexa's insinuation, "Don't you dare! Don't you dare put this on me! I did what I had to do to save my people what you just did was only to satisfy your own need"

Lexa was the one growling now, "It wasn't for nothing and these are the traditions of my people Clarke! If I hadn't accepted and the faith of my people lost then do you really think the alliance would still stand between our people?"

She shook her head, "What if you had died?"

"I didn't"

She said it so simply but everything she was saying only infuriated Clarke more, "But what if you had? What would have happened then? Would the alliance have stood then?"

"Is this really about the alliance?" Lexa whispered it and Clarke noticed how close they were standing. She refused to let Lexa walk away from this though.

Pushing the other girl roughly and stepping away further, "Yes it's about the alliance. I only just saved my people, all the people that died, I don't want it all to be in vain for the sake of your pride"

She dropped into the spare chair and rubbed her temple. Lexa angered her in ways she didn't think possible until meeting the girl.

Lexa dropped the cloth and knelt down in front of Clarke, "This had nothing to do with my pride Clarke you have to believe that. I am sorry that you had to witness that but it was necessary and I'm not going to promise that it won't happen again because it probably will but my people have faith in me because of what I just did. Yes, If I had died then the alliance might no longer have stood but there is no saying that it wouldn't. That man wouldn't be the one to take charge the new commander would be chosen and it would be their decision of whether to keep the alliance"

Clarke took this all in and lowered her hands as she looked down at Lexa. With the blood gone from her features she looked almost innocent. Almost. She let out an exasperated laugh and closed her eyes, "So is this what it's going to be like from now on? You fighting to keep the faith until someone eventually kills you and the alliance is broken?"

"No" She pulled herself up into the chair next to Clarke, "This won't last forever Clarke and peace will come"

"When?"

Lexa bit her lip and Clarke knew she was hiding something, "Lexa" She warned, "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't" She denied but one look from Clarke was enough to silence her, "Okay I have been avoiding you but not for the reasons you think"

"I don't know why you've been avoiding me, that's the point!" She was shouting at her now.

"Clarke we need to get to Polis as soon as we can"

Clarke threw her head back and groaned, "Oh not this argument again… Lexa we've been through this I can't leave my people until I know they can care for themselves"

"They aren't incompetent Clarke, they're very capable of caring for themselves without you there for a few days"

She looked at the commander for a few moments and noticed something on her face that she hadn't seen for a long time, fear, "Lexa what is it?"

When she didn't reply straight away Clarke tried again, "Why do we need to go to Polis so soon?"

Lexa rubbed her face and the cracks from long sleepless nights was starting to show, "The twelve clans have called for a meeting of commanders and they've asked for the leader of the sky people to be present"

"Why?" Clarke frowned but she felt a sudden jolt of nerves.

She shrugged and leant back in the chair, "I actually don't know. When you fell from the sky all eyes were drawn to you Clarke so of course they would be anxious to meet you… as to why they want you at the meeting I have no idea"

"You're worried" Clarke observed.

"I am… anxious" she conceded.

Honestly Clarke wasn't too thrilled at the news either and if it had Lexa showing visible concern then it must be cause for some concern. Clarke knew this couldn't wait but she was still worried about her people.

"I'll have to leave my mother and Kane here then"

Lexa looked up at her, "You'll leave with me soon?"

"It can't wait" Clarke agreed.

"No it cannot…" she paused for a moment and raised her hand to Clarke's, "I want you to know that I wouldn't be taking you if I thought any harm would come to you"

"I believe you" and she did. Looking into Lexa's eyes, she really did.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy was practicing with one of the guns. Him and Kane had started the range towards the back on camp Jaha only the day before to teach anyone that was willing to learn. So far only Monroe, Raven and Monty had shown up.

Bellamy hadn't expected any grounders to turn up but he had thought that a few more of their people would be willing to defend themselves.

He raised the gun again when someone approached, "What is this?"

His eyes met Echo's and he smiled. She was looking healthier than he had seen her in the aftermath of the war. He ripped clothes were replaced with black leather that hung tight around her frame.

She was watching him in amusement. Bellamy had noticed the difference between the two sisters after watching them interact for a few days. Echo and Lexa had the same tough exterior but he had noticed how Echo was much more comfortably with displaying her feelings. She was tough when she needed to be but was happy to smile and laugh along with everyone else. He had yet to see Lexa even genuinely smile. The only person that seemed to be exempt from the commander's glare was Clarke…

Bellamy also hadn't missed the tension between the two sisters on the rare occasions that they were seen to be together. He wondered if they had even talked privately since Echo's return.

"Shooting practice. No good having guns and ammo if only five people can shoot"

She nodded in approval, "Guns have plagued our people for years. Having them on our side instead of aiming at us will take some time for my people to get used to"

He couldn't blame them because he had seen first-hand the way they were treated in mount weather. Bellamy raised the gun again and aimed. They stood like that for a while, him aiming and firing, her watching silently to the side. He was surprised at how easy it was with Echo. She was a part of a culture that was effectively years behind them in terms of development yet they had more right to this land than any of the people from the Ark.

He had called them savages but hadn't they been the ones to destroy the earth in a nuclear explosion in the first place?

When Lincoln had first appeared Bellamy had assumed he meant to kill them. Being wrong was made harder with Octavia's relationship with the grounder but Lincoln had helped save them all in the end.

"Are you going to Polis?"

Echo grunted a yes, "I am part of the commander's guard along with Octavia and Jua"

Jua was a warrior that Lexa had chosen within the last few days. After every member of her guard had fallen in the battle of mount weather she had shown a keen interest in keeping the guard closer to home than before. Octavia had shown herself to be a skilled warrior, he knew that, and a part of him wondered if she had chosen Echo to try and find a way of keeping her sister close. Echo had explained that Jua was a distant family member that had risen fast through the ranks along with Echo and Lexa when they had first started training. That was a long time ago.

She looked to him, "Will you be?"

Bellamy nodded. Clarke had asked him to accompany her and Raven the day before. She wondered if Clarke was trying to keep the people she cared about close as well. Maybe Clarke and Lexa had more in common than he first thought.

Echo seemed oddly happy at that and when she walked away a few moments later Bellamy didn't miss the slight spring in her step. Bellamy grinned to himself and went back to teaching Monty how to aim.

**Hope that was a decent chapter for you all **

**It's hard to write these chapters when there's no BIG dilemma going on around them haha**

**Sorry for no update yesterday but we were celebrating mother's day early :)**

**Please keep em reviews a comin - I do love them! :) love you all**


	12. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

**Here we go again... I was listening to All Of Me by John Legend during the making of this chapter well the end anyway. During the first part I was listening to Crazy In Love... The 50 shades of grey version (please don't judge the soundtrack is amazing! haha)**

**Anyway Enjoy and please keep the reviews coming!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Echo stopped outside the commander's tent and looked at Octavia who was watching her warily. Honestly she didn't know why she was here but she knew that something had been amiss since her return. Lexa had changed so much, she didn't need to look closely to see it, and maybe she was here for an explanation but maybe she was here for the story. Lexa was still her little sister and she didn't care if she was the commander that fact would never change between them no matter how far Lexa attempted to push it away. She knew Lexa wanted her around otherwise she wouldn't have placed her in the guard but Echo was still being pushed away.

Making her way inside she was surprised to find Lexa alone, she had become accustomed to the presence of the blonde around her, and standing beside the war table.

"The war is over"

Lexa didn't look up but Echo didn't miss the tensing of her muscles at her entrance, "With the mountain maybe but I won't walk away from the alliance if the clans decide to turn of the sky people"

"You mean you won't walk away from Clarke"

Echo wasn't completely sure what made her say that. It was true but Lexa wasn't as open as she used to be and Echo no longer knew where the line was between them. She may well have just crossed it.

Lexa looked up slowly her eyes giving away nothing, "Don't" She warned.

There was the line and yes, she had crossed it, but what worried Echo was that her emotions didn't show on her face. She was looking at her as if she was just another one of her warriors. As if she wasn't her sister.

"Lexa-"

"No" she cut her off, "Get. Out"

"Don't" Echo stepped forward forcing Lexa to step further away, "Don't do that. Don't push me away"

"I said get out"

"No" She stood her ground. Clarke may be wary when it came to approaching Lexa but Echo wasn't and she wouldn't back down on this.

Lexa stared at her as if she didn't quite know what to do with her, "That was an order"

"You can't order me around" She crossed her arms, "_Commander_"

"I am your superior!"

"You're my sister first and it wouldn't kill you to start acting like it"

"You weren't here" Roared Lexa, "Don't start acting the sister now. When it suites you"

Echo dropped her arms and spluttered, "When it suites me? When it suites _me_? I had no choice Lexa and you know it-"

"You weren't here though and you didn't come back did you?"

They were in each other's faces now and Lexa had long since dropped her mask. Echo dropped her voice as she calmed down slightly in understanding, "So that's what this is about… You're angry that I left"

"I was alone!" Lexa stepped away from her shaking. Tears were starting to pool in her eyes and she wasn't even trying to hide it, "I needed you… so many times I needed you but you weren't there"

"You didn't need me" mumbled Echo.

"I was nine" She snarled back, "I had to kill a man in my first week. How old were you when you made your first kill?"

"Fourteen" But Lexa already new that. Once your training was finished you took a life whether it man or animal at the age of fourteen.

"Fourteen" Lexa spat back at her, "I was dragged injured through the forest in torrential rain for three days not a week later… Where were you?"

"I get it Lexa, I wasn't there, but I'm here now"

"I don't need you now"

"I think you're lying" She stepped forward warily, "I think you need me now more than ever"

Lexa was crying as she stared back at her and she didn't protest as Echo pulled her into a hug. They stood silently for a moment as Echo just held her whilst she cried and she wondered when the last time Lexa ever truly cried was.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm your sister and it's my duty to protect you… I should have done that sooner"

"You couldn't protect me from this though could you?" Lexa pulled away slightly to look Echo in the eyes, "I'm so tired of being the reason people die… I see them all… the face of every single person I've ever taken the life of and I'm so tired of them pulling me from sleep"

Echo nodded, "If you can't come out from behind your walls then at least let us in… Let me and Clarke in Lexa because I know she cares for you too"

"I can't" She pulled away fully and wiped her eyes, "If Clarke died too…"

"Too?"

Echo watched her warily as she began to move further away into the tent, "I had someone… before… I couldn't protect her and now she's dead. If Clarke died too… I can't- I can't do that"

Echo nodded and followed Lexa over to her bed, "You can't stop yourself from caring about her Lexa. Clarke can protect herself and we're not at war anymore… even if we did Clarke would be with you. You can't not try because of the past"

"I loved her Echo" Her eyes spoke the words without her needing to say it, "I really loved her"

"Maybe now is the time to love again"

Lexa smiled weakly and Echo released a breath she didn't realise she had been holding.

XoXoXoX

They left for Polis the next day. Four guards also accompanied them, two at the front and two at the back, Lexa went first with Echo to her left and Octavia to her right; Jua followed closely behind. Monroe was stationed behind Clarke with Raven and Bellamy at each side.

Jua was not what Clarke had been expecting from a guard. He was talking to Clarke rapidly and excitedly trying to explain everything about Polis to her before they arrived. Raven was listening in and was intrigued when he mentioned the market.

"Big! The market stretches across the bottom of Polis, you could spend all day there exploring the stalls, and it takes up most of the bottom level"

"Bottom _level_?"

Clarke and Raven shared a look. How big was Polis? So far the only grounder civilisation they had seen was TonDC and that hadn't been particularly big.

"Oh yes Polis is the capitol. Generals and Commanders travel in and out all the time so it has to be big… There are four levels to Polis – you enter through the gate at the bottom level and then cross a bridge to a slightly higher level where the housing is for the capitol's residents. The third level holds the general's rooms and then the fourth holds the commanders and their company… The whole city is surrounding the middle room which is the command room where the meetings take place"

He was beaming at them as he explained and Clarke couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't be much older than them if that and she was shocked that Lexa had chosen him compared to her previous guards.

"How long has Polis been the capitol?"

"Not long" It was Lexa that spoke now from the front of their party, "Polis was formed along with the joining of the twelve clans… We needed a capitol where the meetings could be held and decisions would be made. Polis is directly in equal distance of all our lands so it seemed the safest option"

"What are the other clans like?" They were all listening and Octavia was still adamant about learning everything there was to know about their new landscape.

"There's us, the tree people, then there's the ice nation" She growled that one and Clarke remembered the story of Costia, "The sea tribe, the westerners, southerners, the eastern clan and the north. Then further to the south there's the desert people, the land tribe and the fire clan. The last two are the further north and we call them the shadow and lights"

"Why?"

Clarke expected Lexa to not reply but she did, "There is a place where the sun meets the earth… Further beyond the light splits between the two lands. On one side the light and on the other the dark"

Raven made a noise and Clarke looked at her and could see her confusion mirrored. The sun didn't meet the earth.

"Are there any other forms of life on earth?"

"There is the city of light but none ever return from there"

Clarke was curious now, "Why not?"

"It is in the dead zone. For the dead Clarke, not for the living" Lexa answered simply, Echo and Jua nodded in agreement.

Raven leant over and whispered in her ear, "That's where Jaha went"

So that's where Jaha went. She hadn't asked because of the more pressing matters but she did remain curious. Of course he had gone to the city of light, it would be just like him to do something like this.

"He will not return" Jua had been listening in, "Nobody ever does"

Clarke nodded and Bellamy leaned forward, "How do you know they aren't alive?"

Jua scoffed, "We do not... but they never return"

"Why don't you go after them?"

Lexa turned around to face them, "We have. I have sent many men into the dead zone… they never returned"

Nobody spoke for the rest of the journey and Clarke's thoughts trailed off to Jaha and the others.

XoXoXoX

It was dark by the time the guards had lit the fire. They sat further away on constant watch and Clarke couldn't help but wonder if Lexa's fear of the alliance breaking ran deeper than she had first admitted.

Bellamy was sat with Echo and Jua by the fire. Jua was telling them about Polis and Echo, who had never been, was as transfixed as Bellamy. Raven and Octavia were opposite them and talking in hushed voices to each other.

Clarke decided to place herself further away from everyone else at the stump of a tree where she could look up through the leaf canopy at the sky. She was admiring one particular star when a branch snapping brought her back down to earth.

Lexa was looking down at her and holding out some water for her, "Here"

Clarke smiled and took it as the commander settled down next to her, "Thank you"

Lexa smiled back and looked up at the sky, "I've always preferred the night sky"

She nodded and looked up as well, "It was always night in space… before we came down I didn't even know what the sky looked like. Now I've seen so many things that I had only ever seen in books… I never dreamed that I'd ever come down to earth. I didn't believe we would be in that generation"

"What was it like… the sky?"

"From space?" Lexa nodded, "It was… blue… all of it… with green stretching over small parts and the white swirls of clouds. It was like a dream that we all wanted to reach… I could see it from my cell"

Lexa looked at her in surprise, "A cell? As in… prison?"

Clarke nodded and her eyes widened, "You were a prisoner?"

She nodded again and smiled weakly, "We're all prisoners. The 100 were prisoners and that's why we were sent down because even if we died at least they knew what earth was like"

"You were a test" Lexa whispered gently.

"I suppose so… yes"

"I'm glad…" Clarke looked down to see Lexa watching her still, "I'm glad you came down Clarke"

She smiled lightly, "Me too"

Lexa leant forward and a second later their lips were brushing against one another. God she could get used to this. Her hand reached up and cupped Lexa's cheek as she deepened the kiss and a moment later she felt a hand resting gently on her hip. Lexa leant further forward so Clarke was leaning heavily against the tree.

She felt Lexa smile into the kiss and realised that she too was grinning.

XoXoXoX

"Clarke…"

"Clarke!"

Groaning she pulled herself out of sleep and was immediately met with an ache in her neck from sleeping awkwardly. Looking up she realised her head was on Lexa's shoulder. Blushing she lifted her head up and rubbed her neck.

"Sorry"

Lexa smiled and shook her head, "It's fine... follow me"

She helped Clarke up and led her past the trees to a clearing. It was still slightly dark and Clarke wondered what on earth they were doing up at this time.

"Lexa, what are we doing?"

"Trust me" she offered no other explanation but pulled her out of the trees.

They were standing at the top of a cliff looking over the vast forest below them dipped in moonlight. In the distance Clarke could see the mountain casting its shadow over them all. She turned to Lexa who was watching her carefully.

"What are we doing here?"

"Just watch" Lexa placed herself at the base of a tree and indicated for Clarke to join her.

Clarke leant her head back into the crook of Lexa's neck enjoying the warmth of having arms wrapped around her. She closed her eyes and mumbled sleepily, "You're crazy"

A light laugh vibrated beneath her, "Don't fall asleep or you will miss it"

She opened her eyes again and wondered for a moment longer what Lexa was talking about until she saw it. Behind the mountain peak an orange glow could be seen. Clarke smiled and leaned further into Lexa as they watched the sun break from behind the mountain.

They watched the sun rise together and it was the first time Clarke felt a sense of peace and serenity wash over her. She wished this moment could last.

It was as if Lexa read her mind, "We will do this again Clarke"

"Thank you Lexa" For more than just the sunrise.

Clarke felt the brush of lips against her temple and her smile widened. They didn't move until the others were calling for them and even then they lingered for just a moment longer.

**Awwww cuteness... Anyway where All Of Me was being listened to on repeat during the making of that last moment**

**Please let me know what you think!**

**Until next time ;)**


	13. Our minds are full of freedom

**I'm Back for the last time today!**

**Enjoy - This is just how I imagine Polis to be when Lexa said it would change her view on them... So yeah.**

**Thank you all for the support that this is fic is getting and I'm thrilled that you all love it so much!**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing (but I wish I did)**

Polis was bigger than Clarke was prepared for. They broke through the tree line before midday and they could see it standing tall in the centre. Countless warn paths led up to the main gate and they were full of traveling parties like theirs coming and going. It took them over two hours just to reach the capitol from the tree line it was so big. A few parties stopped them along the way to share pleasantries with Lexa and she introduced Clarke as the leader of the sky people. It was unnerving how some of them seemed to already know her name and, as they pulled away from one particular group, she voiced this to Lexa.

"You aren't just known among the tree people Clarke. You helped bring down the mountain… That has never been attempted let along accomplished. You feel from the sky and then saved hundreds of our people"

Clarke was riding up front with Lexa now and together they led the procession up the dirt path. As they neared the gate Clarke noticed groups of children running around freely in the vast field to their left and right.

Lexa was watching her intently, "Polis is a place of peace Clarke. I think you will like it very much here and you should explore the market place most are run on trade but they will gift you if you so wish"

She shook her head and smiled, "I don't want to take their trade away with nothing in return"

Lexa nodded in understanding as shouts of 'Lexa!' and 'Heda!' came from the children now running towards them. Clarke smiled affectionately as she dismounted her horse and greeted the children.

They all dismounted and their horses were taken by the guards. Bellamy came up beside her and watched Lexa, "Well now that's not something you see everyday"

"Indeed" Echo was watching Lexa as well with something Clarke could only assume was pride.

They followed Lexa through the gate and Clarke's jaw dropped and she knew the others were having the same reaction behind her. The closest thing Clarke had ever seen to a busy high-street was the photos in books but she could only assume that this was the equivalent. Children were running free inside too. The stores were ranging from piles of objects that Clarke had never seen before to food that she had never seen in person. There was food that Clarke had never seen images of in the Ark's books.

Lexa leaned over and spoke quietly into her ear, "I will show you the library later"

Her head whipped round to the grounder in amazement. Lexa couldn't help but laugh at the look of amazement on Clarke's face.

They made their way up to the next level where it was quieter but doors lined the walls and she remembered what Jua had told her about places to stay for the capitol's residents.

"People live here?" Bellamy asked and Lexa nodded.

"It may be the commander's capitol but it is a place for peace. Most people chose to raise their families here… I have had many warriors retire here"

They carried on to the third level which was filled with larger accommodations for the generals. There was hardly anyone moving around on this level and the children had long since disappeared from the streets. Clarke couldn't help but feel that they had moved into the more serious part of the city.

The fourth and final level was lit by the days light and the rooms were on the edge circled around a huge dome. The dome was covered in overgrown plants and ivy but Clarke could make out the glare of a glass roof.

"This is the meeting room" Lexa appeared next to her, "It is where we shall congregate tomorrow at mid-day. Until then the city is free for you all to explore and get settled into"

She confessed that only her and Clarke had rooms on this level and the others would be staying at the previous one whilst the guards camped outside. Jua took the others to their rooms whilst Lexa showed Clarke hers.

Their rooms were next to each other and Clarke was pleasantly surprised to find a large space with a bed in the corner and a large table pushed to the side. Lexa told her that food would be brought to her room later on and invited Clarke to eat with her.

Deciding to make the most of her free time she left to meet with Bellamy whilst Lexa met with her informants before tomorrow.

XoXoXoX

Raven threw herself down on Octavia's bed. They were sharing a room but for some reason the mechanic insisted upon invading her personal space.

"Why don't we go and explore the market place?"

"Shall we invite Bellamy?" Raven asked innocently.

Octavia had meant for it to be just the two of them but still she wasn't lying when she said, "Oh I think he went with Clarke"

"Okay lets go then, just the two of us" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively causing her to cough and splutter slightly.

With a wink Raven turned and limped out of the room leaving a flustered Octavia still lying across her bed.

Octavia was amazed at how much had apparently survived the war. There were old paintings, Vases, old guns and other forms of weaponry. But there were also things here that Octavia had never seen before. Being locked away for sixteen years had left a lot of time to study any books that Bellamy had snuck in but still she didn't recognise some of the food that littered the store fronts.

Raven came bouncing over to her with a fruit that resembled a melon slightly but it was an odd blueish colour wrapped in a white skin. She was reluctant to try it but when she did, oh god, it was the sweetest taste and she couldn't help the groan that escaped her as she went in for a second bite.

Raven even managed to find some old car parts and electrical wiring. She was so excited that Octavia had to pull the trader to the side to strike a deal. It took some heavy negotiating and the loss of her knife along with name-dropping Lexa but she eventually got the deal.

They both ended up making their way back to their room with arms full to the brim. They ran into Clarke on the way back, who just shook her head but was smiling anyway. Lexa hadn't been wrong when she said it was the city of peace. Octavia was finding it hard to find anything negative about the place and believe me, she was trying.

It wasn't until later on when she was making her way back for seconds of that fruit that she spotted something that caused her to halt. She dipped round the corner and watched wide eyed.

Bellamy was standing outside Echo's door, who was standing leaning in the doorway. She was smiling up at him and Octavia couldn't miss the glint in Bellamy's eyes as she looked down at him. She laughed at something he said before turning back into the room with him following closely behind. The door shut was a quick snap.

Octavia's eyes bugged and she quickly raced back to tell Raven what she had seen.

XoXoXoX

Raven and Clarke were sitting on her bed discussing what they had seen in Polis so far when Octavia raced in eyes wide and face red.

"You will never guess who I just saw together?"

Raven shrugged whilst Clarke sat forward intrigued, "Who?"

"Echo and Bellamy!"

They both shared a surprised look and laughed, "What?"

Octavia sat down in front of them and explained what she had seen. Raven laughed whilst Clarke just shook her head, "That could be anything"

Octavia scoffed, "Oh please who 'just' invites someone like Bellamy into _her_ room?"

"But she might have just invited him in for a drink" Raven offered.

"Why are you both avoiding this" She looked between them, "You can't tell me you've missed the time they spend together"

Raven laughed, "This is your brother we're talking about. When was the last time he had a relationship?"

Clarke groaned, "Well there was the sex he was getting during his 'whatever the hell we want' days… then there was the threesome"

"What!" cried Raven.

Whilst Octavia mimed being sick, "Okay too much information there Clarke"

"Go Bellamy" mumbled Raven, earning a glare from Octavia followed by a simple, "No"

"I don't really want to discuss the possible nature of Bellamy and Echo's relationship" Clarke grumbled.

Raven and Octavia shared a look and grinned.

Clarke looked between them confused, "What?"

Raven lent forward, "We saw you and Lexa last night"

"And we know where you were this morning too" Octavia added, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"No" Clarke stared at them both, "Get those thoughts out of your head okay?"

"What you mean you haven't…"

"No" Clarke cried and almost laughed at their shocked faces, "I don't even know where we are. I know we're somewhere but I just don't know _where_ that place is"

Raven bit her lip and looked to Octavia who was watching Clarke in wonder, "You haven't discussed it?"

"No, well I mean it hasn't come up"

"Then talk to her" Pushed Raven as her and Octavia shared another knowing glance.

XoXoXoX

Clarke was sat opposite Lexa. They were in the other girls room at the table where a large selection of food had been spread out for them. Lexa was telling her about what she had discovered during the day about the other commanders.

"Since the last meeting of the twelve clans only one commander has passed luckily which gives us the advantage"

Clarke took a sip of her drink, "How so?"

"It means that we have the advantage of my past experience and relationship with these leaders on our side" Lexa took a bite of food but her eyes never wavered.

She nodded, "I'm curious, how does the decision work?"

Lexa leant back and relaxed herself into her chair, something she only ever seemed to do around Clarke, "We vote. I raise the subject and make my argument for you joining the alliance. I have no doubt that the others will have their points and arguments to make and after a deliberation we will vote. We need only seven votes to gain you a place in the alliance"

Clarke nodded again and sighed, "If that doesn't happen?"

"You will be denied entry" she said simply, "But that doesn't guarantee war Clarke it just means you won't be in the alliance by the time we leave for camp Jaha. It does not mean you have to worry for your people Clarke"

"Isn't there anything we could do?" She couldn't help but be worried despite what Lexa said, "Anything to strengthen the alliance?"

"Possibly but this is my preferred way of approach" The way she lowered her gaze and raised the cup to her lips made Clarke believe that there was more to the other option than she was letting on.

They sat there for the rest of the meal in silence, the only sound the occasional clang of metal. The food was gorgeous and Clarke ate as much as she could before she started to feel slightly sick.

Lexa was watching her curiously, "There is something else on your mind Clarke?"

She nodded and placed her cup carefully down on the table. Clarke hadn't missed the romantic feel that the candles created in the dimly lit room, "Where are we?"

She seemed perplexed, "Polis" she said simply and Clarke almost laughed.

"No I mean where are _we_ as in me and you? I know how you feel about me and how I feel about you but I'm just unsure as to where that leaves us…" She couldn't deny how nervous she was.

Lexa was staring across at her seriously. She rose from her chair walked around the table. Kneeling down she placed herself between Clarke's legs and looked up at her, "I don't want you to think that I am using you Clarke… I care more for you than I probably should as a commander but now the war is over I want us to take this further… If that is what you want?"

Clarke swallowed and nodded before leaning down to meet Lexa, "Of course it's what I want… I want nothing else"

Lexa grinned and raised an eyebrow, "Nothing?"

"_Shof op_" She smiled and pulled Lexa into a deep kiss.

XoXoXoX

To say Clarke was nervous was an understatement.

Lexa seemed to notice because mumbled a quiet, "Calm down Clarke, everything will be fine, I promise"

Clarke gave her a weak smile before the door opened.

They were sat in two of the thirteen seats around a large circular table directly in the middle of the dome. Light spilled down directly in the centre of the table. They stood as the other commanders entered.

Clarke noticed the difference in clothing amongst them, where Lexa wore her heavy black leather, shoulder guard and red sash, one of the commanders hardly wore anything. She was dressed in loose clothing that barely covered her and Clarke could only assume that she was from one of the warmer parts. A pale man entered next and he was covered in thick white furs; _the ice nation_, Clarke realised.

The rest of the commanders filed in with quick succession and it wasn't until the last stood behind his seat did they finally sit down.

It was the pale man that spoke first and he addressed Clarke directly, "So you are Clarke of the sky people?"

She gave a short nod and spoke, "Yes I am Clarke of the sky people and I come representing my people"

"_No fire_" mumbled a short man two seats to her left.

Lexa shifted her gaze to the man, "I am sorry Karlois, what was that?"

"I said she has no fire… My people spoke of fire. There is no fire coming from your back sky girl"

Clarke was too perplexed to answer but the pale man spoke again, "We are not here to discuss fire we are here to discuss the sky people"

He reminded her of Quint and Clarke couldn't help but remember how that had ended.

"My people mean no harm, we aim to live peacefully-"

"Your actions would suggest otherwise" The woman wearing nothing spoke up, "You took down the mountain"

"They were taking my people" She defended.

"I did not say it was a bad thing" Her eyes looked down at Clarke with something close to admiration and somehow Clarke knew that she had her vote.

Lexa stood at the table, "I ask the council of twelve to listen to my proposition… I propose welcoming the sky people in as a thirteenth clan into the alliance"

The reactions were mixed as Lexa had predicted. A few laughed and banged their fists against the table. Others shouted against the idea immediately whilst some shouted their appraisal. Though one or two remained silent; the woman included. She was watching Clarke intently as if she couldn't quite work out what she was.

Lexa raised a hand the people fell silent, "I understand why some would be against this. However the sky people helped return my people and countless others… they had few to do so yet they stood against the mountain anyway and now the threat is gone. My clan owe their lives and all our people owe their appreciation for the fall of this threat. I know many of you have had your people returned. The sky people have proven themselves during this fight and now we must recognise that, whether they fell from the sky or not should be irrelevant"

The argument continued on after that and it was in the third hour that Clarke decided this was a pointless argument so she stood. The whole room fell silent and she took a deep breath, "We survived in space because we believed that life on earth deserved to start again… because of mount weather we never knew if the earth was survivable or that there was life on earth. Yes we fell from the sky but we came from the earth first. We survived a nuclear war and we kept ourselves alive in space… now all we ask is the right to survive on earth. Our home. We attacked mount weather because they were using our people, and yours, as a way to survive. They forced this on themselves. I'm not here to talk about mount weather or to prove if I'm the right person to lead my people and I won't beg for you all to accept us. This arguing is pointless when all you really want to know is whether we are too different to live amongst you but do you really think we would have survived so long, like the mountain men failed to do, if we couldn't live amongst you"

She fell silent to an equally silent room. Lexa was watching her in admiration and the ice man had an unreadable expression on his face. The woman that had been watching her leant back and smiled as if she had just worked out what she was.

"There it is" The short man that had spoken of her _fire_ before spoke quietly but nobody was paying him any attention. They were all watching Clarke.

She sat down and Lexa leant forward, "Shall we vote?"

They looked between each other and nodded. It was a unanimous result.

**Back to college tomorrow. I'll post when I can haha **

**Thank you again :) I reward your support with Clexa fluff**

**Please keep the reviews rolling XD**


	14. We were born sick but I love it

**Okay first thing is that this Chapter is really short ;)**

**Honestly I thought that I was over half way on this but I did some planning (which I hadn't done before starting this thing… I was just writing as I went which wasn't a good idea because there are things that I wanted to have covered by now and haven't) so I took some time out of writing to plan… Turns out I have 20 odd more chapters which is good and bad.**

**Good because I don't want this fic to end – I'm having such a great time writing it**

**Bad because I have a fear of getting bored before I finish… I've never actually finished a story before but all the reviews, follows and favourites im getting are really great encouragement so I think you. I thank all of you for getting me this far! So this fic is for you – all of you and I'm kind of sad that the only way I have to repay you is by writing this.**

**SO I SHALL NOT LET YOU DOWN**

**Now please enjoy. We have a lot of chapters to go before the final BIG ONE. That will have more than one part like the mount weather attack chapters :)**

**I look forward to it and I hope you will too **

**Please keep the reviews, favourites and follows coming **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Lexa was thrilled and that didn't happen often. Watching Clarke stand up to defend her people had been enough to start a burning pride within her but by the time Clarke's speech had finished and she had seen the faces of the other commander's she couldn't hide it. Oddly she found herself not caring if her feelings were plastered across her face.

The most surprising fact was how perplexed and nonchalant Clarke looked… She really didn't understand the effect she had on people.

Lexa waited until they were back in her room to lift Clarke up and spin her around causing a squeal to erupt from the blonde but Lexa didn't care. She felt happy and safe for the first time in a very long time and she didn't care that her bones ached or that she hadn't been sleeping properly. Clarke was safe and she had just guaranteed her own safety without Lexa's help.

"Lexa I swear to god if you don't put me down…" Clarke warned but she could hear the laughter in her chest and Clarke lowered her down slowly and grinned at her.

She pulled Clarke into a long kiss and they only separated when the need for air became too much for the both of them.

"I am so proud of you" She panted, resting her forehead on Clarke's.

"Why? All I did was tell the truth"

Lexa laughed and pulled back to look down at Clarke, "You don't understand the effect you have had on these people"

Clarke scoffed, "What burning a mountain to the ground?"

"Despite what you may believe about us we don't spend our days pillaging and burning people. When someone does something as amazing as you did at the mountain it spreads quickly throughout our lands even to the furthest reaches. Children know who you are and you heard what Karlois said, his people believe that you're this fallen saviour in a ring of fire"

"But I'm not" She protested and Lexa grinned again.

"You fell from the sky in a ball of fire"

"I thought you didn't believe in fairy tales" Clarke mumbled looking up at her.

"_I_ don't… but I can't speak for the others" With that she pulled her into another searing kiss.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy opened the door and was faced with a determined looking Octavia. She pushed passed him into the room and he sighed closing the door behind her.

"Well this can't be good"

Octavia ignored him, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" He had no idea what she was going on about.

She rolled her eyes at him, "About you and Echo"

Bellamy laughed and shook his head, "There is no 'me and Echo' O"

"Oh please" Octavia took a step forward, "I saw you two the other day. She invited you into her room"

She punctuated the word invite with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, "She invited _me_ in for a drink O… Nothing happened between us-"

"But you like her?"

"That's not the point!" He spluttered, "Besides if one of us is hiding anything then it's you"

Octavia looked affronted at the insinuation, "I don't keep anything from you"

"Really? Then what's happening between you and Raven?"

That caused her to falter and she stared at him wide eyed whilst mumbling a repetitive, "Nothing"

"O" Bellamy stepped forward gently with his arm out, "Tell me what's going on between you two"

"I-I-I don't know… I don't know Bell"

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "Come on O…"

"I care about her… She means a lot to me and after Lincoln-" She swallowed, "I guess I just needed someone and she was there"

"She needed someone" He finished and he felt her nod against his chest.

Bellamy pulled back and looked at her, "Have you even considered that there might be something else between you?"

Octavia opened her mouth but she couldn't answer. The truth was she didn't know how she felt anymore. Everything with Lincoln had been simple because everything had been simpler then. Her and Raven had fallen into one another with nobody else around but life had been difficult, harder than with Lincoln, and her head was a mess. But she could never forget the fear she had felt watching Raven on that table…

Bellamy seemed to understand because he just hugged her again. They stood like that for a while.

"I'm scared Bell" She whispered.

"Why?"

"I don't know… It's over, it's all over, I know that but it doesn't feel over and I just feel so scared all the time. I can't feel safe because what if it all goes away? Something could happen to you, Clarke… Raven…"

Bellamy nodded, "I know Octavia but we can't live the rest of our lives in fear. You have to learn when to let go"

"I can't. If I let go then I'm afraid I'll forget"

Frowning he looked down at her tear-streaked face, "Forget what?"

"Everyone… Everything… Mum, Finn, Jasper, Lincoln, the 100… What If I forget them? So many people have died Bell…"

"I know O" He held her tighter, "I know"

XoXoXoX

"Lexa please… Can I at least know where we're going?"

She heard the creaking of a door and Lexa's voice, "No, now trust me"

"I do trust you" She said and a second later a pair of soft lips met hers. They lingered for a moment before pulling away.

"I know"

The darkness faded and for a few moments Clarke was blinded before her eyes adjusted to the light. She gasped. Rows and rows of shelves laid out in front of her, fires lit the room, and Clarke stepped forward arms wide.

"These all survived?" She spun to look at Lexa who nodded.

Clarke laughed and lingered by the door almost afraid to touch them they were so precious but a hand touched her back, "Go Clarke, I will be here for when you are finished"

Clarke didn't know when that would be. She turned to the Books and took a deep breath.

**This one is really short just to tie you over. I'll update either tomorrow or Wednesday. I don't have college on Wednesday so that is the perfect day for updates :)**


	15. Someone reaching back for me

**Okay so I am currently balancing this and an essay on Jez Butterworth's play Jerusalem…. Kill. Me. Now**

**I apologise in advance for the angsty chapters coming up… Lexa and Clarke, mainly Lexa though, still have some issues to work through so yeah. Oh and TonDC will be brought back up as well. I hope you guys don't hate me too much when we get to those chapter ahah…haha…ha *looks around nervously***

**College is getting more intense and I'm officially fearful for my life after a warning from one of my lecturers about, and I quote (no word of a lie), "If you miss one more deadline or get less tha will run you over in the carpark" O.O**

**So yeah that happened**

**Anyway enjoy the chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned here**

Clarke was reading. Her head was in Lexa's chest and she was lying between her legs on the floor of the library with Lexa leaning against the wall and running a hand through Clarke's hair. She couldn't get enough of the tranquillity of this place. They had been waiting four days for her mother to arrive and in that time her and Lexa had only moved to go to bed. Clarke had loved reading on the Ark and these books were so precious, she could only imagine what else might have survived if they had. Lexa had told her that, though she didn't make a habit of reading for fun like Clarke, she could at least appreciate the worth of these books. When she had found them she knew that they couldn't be destroyed; besides how dangerous could words on a page be?

Clarke didn't feel the need to explain that something like this held more power than one of Lexa's swords. Lexa could end a life but there were worse things in this life than death and a page could cause the emotional and mental pain that Clarke and Lexa both dread. Still she read and with every page she relaxed further into the tense girl holding her.

Clarke knew that Lexa would only feel fully relaxed when they were back home. _Home._ It felt strange just thinking it. That maybe after all this time Clarke had a home that wasn't a piece of metal floating in space or a crashed ship that held the difference between life or death. Her home was a person. It was Lexa. Though she wasn't about to admit that out loud.

A shift behind her and the relaxing of muscles alerted Clarke to the fact that Lexa had finally fallen asleep. She smiled to herself. Lexa had been refusing sleep since they arrived and Clarke suspected that it stretched further than their arrival in Polis. She couldn't help but wonder if Lexa had slept at all since mount weather.

Mount weather was over a week ago but it felt like a lifetime with how much had changed. Physically they were all healed or healing (In Raven's case still waiting long term) but Clarke wasn't fooled. She knew she wasn't the only person waking in a panicked sweat or jumping at loud noises. Clarke hadn't missed the nervous eyes of Octavia, or the wincing of Raven at the sound of a drill, even Echo had a distant, haunted look about her. But Clarke was worried most about Lexa. She had never fully dealt with the events of mount weather or anything that had happened in the war.

Lexa was trying there was no denying that. Her and Echo were trying to repair their lost relationship and she was trying to move forward with the alliance… but Clarke was worried about _her_. Abby had said that Lexa would have flashbacks but if she did then Clarke saw no sign of them and then there was the sleeping problem. No. Lexa was hiding. She was putting up her walls and burying herself alone in the hell of her past and refusing anyone else access to help.

Clarke was jolted forward as Lexa dragged herself from sleep. She sighed and looked to her watch. _Five minutes_. It was getting worse… Whatever _it_ was. Lexa's heartrate beat quickly against Clarke's back before slowing down slightly as she slowly lowered herself back to the wall in an attempt to not alert Clarke to what had just happened.

She was about to breach the subject when the library doors creaked open and a figure appeared at the opening of the dimly lit room, "Heda"

Lexa took a deep breath and moved to stand. Clarke sighed and closed the book, moving to follow, "What is it?"

"The sky leader has arrived"

Lexa nodded and he left. She then turned to Clarke and smiled, "Are you ready?"

Clarke smiled back and nodded before placing the book back on the shelf.

XoXoXoX

Abby pulled Clarke into a long hug, "It's so beautiful"

"I know" Clarke gave her a grin before leading her into the meeting room where Lexa was waiting alone. The other leaders would be arriving soon and Lexa needed to explain how things would work.

Lexa greeted both of them and indicated to the table, "This is the alliance. Each commander has signed the agreement. It will stand until the laws are broken… If that happens than the clan will be removed from the alliance"

"What are the laws?" Abby eyed the twelve signatures and where a space had been left at the bottom.

"The lands of each clan will be respected; invading will be considered a breach of this, along with hunting on each other's land. If another clan is lacking the resources to survive and they ask for help then the other clans are obliged to help. We fight our own wars unless we need the assistance of the others or the war affects the other clans"

Clarke nodded, "Are there any other agreements?"

"A few" Lexa picked up a scroll and handed it to them, "They're not major but you would do well to read them"

Abby took the paper and opened it. Whilst she read Clarke turned back to Lexa, "Will we both need to sign the paper?"

"Yes… The alliance was made with you but to your people your mother is still in charge. For the sake of reasoning you both will be considered equal leaders in this alliance… Either of you can make a decision that concerns your people or ours"

Abby had finished reading and was watching Lexa, "How will this affect our living conditions with your people?"

Lexa bit her lip, "That is more difficult. You are still on our lands but because of our alliance I am willing to spread the lands over… Our people can continue to live how they do now, together, but I would also like to make Camp Jaha the new TonDC. If that suites you?"

"What would that entail?" Clarke knew Abby was wary of another war and TonDC had been the base of all the war decisions.

Lexa smiled at her reassuringly, "TonDC was where I made all the decisions for my people. Lands, food, protection… Now that it's gone I have nowhere to set this up. But if you aren't happy with this then I can chose another village"

Clarke was only too aware of what this meant. Lexa would have to be at the base of all her decisions, her home was TonDC, now she needed somewhere new to do this. If they said no then Lexa would live somewhere further out within her lands. If they said yes… Lexa would be around a lot more. Clarke knew which version she preferred but it wasn't up to her. She looked to Abby who seemed to be having the same thoughts.

"No it's fine Commander. Camp Jaha can be your new base"

Lexa seemed relieved as the door opened at the commanders filed in once more and, Clarke hoped, for the last time in a while.

XoXoXoX

Lexa entered her room with a heavy sigh. It had been a long day but it wasn't over yet. The celebration would be taking place outside of the city walls later on, Lexa was feeling apprehensive about the whole thing, she hadn't celebrated for a long time and didn't know if she could relax.

Her attention landed on her bed where Echo was watching her, "What are you doing in here?"

Echo stood and made her way over, "I need your help… Or advice?"

"Okay" Lexa moved to start taking off her armour, "What do you need?"

"It's less what I need and more what I want to know"

Echo helped her remove the shoulder guard and shrugged, "How did you know… With Clarke I mean… That it was worth it?"

"How did I…" Lexa's eyes widened, "Who?"

"Someone" Echo refused to meet her eye, "How do I know that it's worth it… That it's worth fighting for?"

It felt strange having this talk after everything that had happened between them. Echo was the oldest but they hadn't seen each other in so long… Lexa wanted this though. She wanted her sister back.

"You don't" Lexa pulled at her remaining pieces of armour and watched Echo, "You don't ever know if it's worth fighting for but you have to take the risk that it is… If you don't then you might regret it"

"Don't regret it" She added and Echo smiled thanks before moving to lead.

"Echo" She turned back to face her, "Bellamy is worth it"

Echo looked shocked and thanked her again.

XoXoXoX

Clarke was showing Raven the library when she brought it up. Finn had been the elephant in the room between them for so long and it was time for that to end.

"Raven-"

"Don't" She knew what Clarke was going to say just by the tone of her voice and she didn't want to talk about Finn. Not now, not with her.

Clarke sighed and stepped forward, "Raven please we need to talk about this"

"No _we_ don't. You might want to but I don't want to ever talk about it"

"You said you understood" Clarke challenged.

"I did, I do, but that doesn't make it any easier Clarke. He was my family…" Her voice broke but she refused to give in to the tears, "He was my only family"

Clarke nodded gently, "I understand-"

"No you don't! You mum is fine, she's alive, and my mum never cared about me Clarke. Finn did that and now he's gone"

The tears were starting to show now but Raven didn't want that. She didn't want Clarke to see her tears. Too late.

All it took was for Clarke to pull her into a tight embrace before she was crying and once she started she couldn't stop. The tears kept coming and after a while she gave up trying to hide them. She let Clarke hold her and let her see this side of her.

"I hate you" she mumbled weakly.

"No you don't" Clarke pushed back and Raven nodded against her neck, "I know… but I wish I did… it would be easier to blame you, to say he didn't deserve it, rather than admit that everything he did was the reason he is gone"

"Finn was a good person Raven" Clarke pulled back to look at her, "He just made a mistake"

Raven shook her head, "Finn didn't make a mistake Clarke… He just couldn't handle Earth"

Clarke nodded again and pulled away, "I'm sorry for doing that"

"No" she took a breath trying to regain her composure, "No I'm glad you did. I-I've been holding back… I just feel so guilty every time I consider being with someone else and I think of Finn"

"I know but you can't live the rest of your life like that Raven"

"I know" Raven repeated and looked at Clarke, "Have you? Moved on I mean"

She cocked her head and smiled reassuringly, "I'm trying"

"Are you?"

Raven paused… was she? Sure she had slept with Wick but that hadn't meant anything and she had regretted it straight after. Octavia… She was another story completely.

"I don't even know"

Clarke made towards the exit and called over her shoulder, "Try it"

Raven looked to Octavia who was reading in the corner and smiled_. Okay_, she thought, _I will._

**And I plod on with this hahaha :) I hope you enjoyed this one**

**Like I said before all the chapters at the moment are about tying up loose ends that need to be done with before the big finale. You're going to love the next chapter guys ;)**

**Not saying anything more!**


	16. And I aim it at you

**So I made like a trailer thing:** watch?v=qkVQrFzRNnQ&amp;feature=

**Please take a look and let me know what you think – Thank you for the awesome reviews **

**Wolfie:2451 : The British are coming! The British are coming! Yeah it's like your parking lot. My college has one because they assume most of us drive (I don't – Haven't got the money for that) So yeah I am English and I know I use English alternative words when writing haha Thanks for the review :) glad you like it – hope you enjoy this one. I'm just honored that you even read these AN's :') **

**debssofs: I am proud to be your new hero! I am so glad you like it! I hope you like this chapter – This one's for you. I loved reading your review… well I love reading all of them XD**

**Madjai6: I'm glad it's worth a binge. Season 1 of the 100 finally arrived yesterday (don't know why I didn't order it sooner) so I've been binge watching that again. Love a good binge. I binge read Game of thrones on holiday… **

**Everyone: Thank you so much for your amazing reviews I struggle to believe that I deserve words like amazing, love and just generally being told I'm awesome but you guys seem to think so :) so thank you, each and every one of you and let me know if you want me to make another fan video **

**Disclaimer: This is getting so old now…**

Raven held a breath and hesitated a moment before pushing the door open. Octavia was pulling on her boots and looked up when she entered.

"Hey" She smiled but hesitated when Raven didn't reply.

Instead she stepped forward and pulled Octavia to her feet. The youngest Blake was watching her in confusion and she took another breath.

"Okay I need to say this and please" She cut off Octavia who looked like she was about to cut her off, "Let me say it. Even if you want to never see me again I need to get it off my chest"

Octavia nodded and waited patiently, "I never had a family, not really, my dad died and my mother used me as a way to feel her intoxicated state. I only survived because of Finn and after that we just fell together. I had only ever been with Finn before we came down here and after that we just fell apart, he was in love with Clarke, but I never stopped loving him. Then he went and killed all those people and it wasn't him except it was and now he's dead because of the decisions he made. I can't blame Clarke anymore because Finn made his own choices and I can't change that; what she did was the lesser of two evils and I know that now. But that doesn't mean I'm not still hurting.

"Before mount weather I had nobody. Then I realised that the 100 could be that, they could be my new family. Then I was shot and everyone was taken by mount weather. Mount weather tore everything away and even when it came back the 100 were dead. We're dead on the inside and I don't know how to live again Octavia because the last person that saved me and help me survive was Finn. But then you came out of nowhere and helped me. My leg doesn't feel as heavy as it used to because of you and even when they were drilling into me in mount weather I didn't give up. I was lying on that table and thinking 'now it will finally be over… Now I can finally get away from all this pain' but then I saw your face. I looked at you Octavia and I didn't want to die, I wanted to live, and I haven't felt this way since Finn and that scares me. It scares me because he's dead and I didn't think that pain would ever go away. But it's going and that's because of you… I care about you. I really really care about you and I'm scared"

Raven took a deep breath and looked at Octavia. She had just blurted everything out, her insides felt empty and she couldn't move from her current position. They were so close yet Octavia felt a million miles away.

"Say something" she breathed.

Octavia was watching her so intently but still she didn't say anything. Raven nodded and moved to leave but she pulled her back. They locked eyes for a moment before Octavia's lips were on hers.

They weren't fast or heated but slow and careful as if she was afraid Raven would break if she went too fast. It was so different to Finn but she didn't care; she was so different than she had been with Finn. She didn't need fast and heated. She needed _this_. She needed Octavia.

They pulled away too soon but Octavia only said, "I need you"

And she did, just like Raven, they needed each other.

XoXoXoX

The celebration of the alliance was held outside the walls of Polis. The people had erected a huge space for the dancing around a bonfire that was lit and burning fully by the time Clarke joined the festivities. Lexa had warned her prior to the evening that they made a habit of getting as drunk as possible earlier on so Clarke wasn't surprised when she witnessed more than three groups stumble away as she was arriving. Apparently grounders had the art of getting drunk down to a T.

Echo, Bellamy and Abby had made their way down earlier and Lexa had been here since the beginning. Clarke had knocked on Octavia and Raven's door but they hadn't answered, she had assumed they were down here but she had yet to see them.

She spotted Lexa drinking with the man she remembered being called Karlois and the woman that had been staring intently at Clarke throughout their meeting and she decided to finally get introduced. Grabbing a drink from an offering hand she took a sip before making her way over. _Liquid courage_.

Lexa smiled when she spotted Clarke and pulled her over once she was close enough, "Clarke, this is Karlois and Juan"

Clarke nodded to them both and smiled. Juan stayed quiet but Karlois offered his hand out, "I apologise if I intimidated you in there sky girl… I just wanted to see what you were" He hesitated for a moment, "Made of"

Karlois grinned at her as she took his hand and he pulled her closer so he could whisper in his ear, "Between you and me, at least half of the commanders in that room are terrified of you"

"Why?"

He pulled away and laughed, "Your reputation precedes you Clarke of the sky people"

She had no idea what that meant but when she looked to Lexa for help the only thing she got was a smirk and a knowing glance. Lexa clapped him on the back and asked if he wanted another drink. They were clearly both intoxicated enough but Clarke said nothing as they made their way back over to get another drink. Still it was the most relaxed she had seen Lexa.

"You were most impressive in there sky girl"

Clarke looked to Juan and couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. She was older, taller and the scars across her face equalled the air of superiority that Indra had about her. Her tanned skin was not dissimilar to Lexa's and she wore thin brown leather.

"How so?" Clarke wanted to know what all the commanders seemed to think was so terrifying about her. Was is really the stories they had heard from their warriors or was it something she had proven since arriving in Polis?

Juan was giving away nothing though because she avoided the question, "I haven't seen the commander this happy since Costia. Even when the alliance of the twelve clans was formed formed she didn't celebrate with us. She chose rather to over-see the festivities"

She was looking at Clarke in a way that suggested she knew more than she was letting on, "You knew Costia?"

Juan nodded, "I knew her… She was one of my warriors"

"How did Lexa meet her?"

Juan scoffed, "Costia was a prisoner of war. Lexa kidnapped her group… I don't know how they came to be but they did and it formed an alliance between my people and Lexa's. Until Costia's death anyway"

The woman turned to Clarke then and smiled, it was the first one she had shown Clarke and it really didn't suite her, "What do you think of my son?"

"Your son?" Clarke frowned but then she put the names together and her eyes widened, "Jua?"

The woman nodded and had another drink. Clarke couldn't help the laugh that escaped her; they were nothing alike. Juan seemed to know this because smirked at Clarke's amusement, "He is more like his father than me"

Clarke nodded and they drank together whilst waiting for Lexa and Karlois to return.

Lexa was beaming at Clarke when she returned and offered her some of her drink. Clarke shook her head in amusement, she honestly didn't believe Lexa would drink like this, maybe the commander was more relaxed with Clarke around, "No thanks Lexa and I think you've had enough"

She shook her head and took another gulp, "Never Clarke. Now" She paused for a moment and frowned as if she was trying to work out what she was about to say, "Come and dance?"

That also took Clarke by surprise. She stared at her in awe and shook her head again, "I can't dance Lexa"

The commander scrunched her nose and looked at her drink, "Neither can I"

They looked at each other and burst into laughter.

XoXoXoX

"Come on"

"I don't think so"

"Come on!"

"No" he answered simply. Arms crossed and watching her.

Echo stepped forward and grabbed Bellamy's hands, pulling him towards her, she smirked up and him and he looked around at everyone awkwardly, "Come on it will be fun"

Admittedly she was slightly drunk but she still wanted to do this. It wasn't a big deal either she only wanted to teach him how to dance. He was acting like she was planning a murder.

"I don't dance" He growled.

"You don't dance _yet_ you mean" She raised an eyebrow and when he still refused she carried on, "Clarke says you're never one to turn down a challenge"

"I'm not…" He said warily, wondering she had in mind exactly.

"Alright consider this, if you enjoy it then you teach me something in return, if you don't enjoy it then I owe you"

He looked down at her amused and rolled his eyes, "Okay fine but only because I want to see you make a fool of yourself"

Echo snorted and gripped his hand tight so he couldn't change his mind and run off, "Get ready Blake, you're going to love this"

With that she dragged him out into the throng of dancers and forced his hands on her waist before placing her hands around his neck. Bellamy was watching her blankly in an attempt to avoid looking too interested in their surroundings.

"Where did you learn to dance?" He didn't expect there was much time during war.

She shrugged, "There was a time of peace. A group of warriors and I were out in the field but no job. It takes up time when you would normally get bored rather quickly"

Bellamy smiled and followed her feet careful not to step on them, "Can everyone dance?"

Echo turned her head and he followed her eyes to see Lexa and Clarke laughing to one another, "No… Not everyone"

"So there is something the commander can't do" He teased.

"Careful Mr. Blake or you might enjoy yourself" Echo pushed him forward.

"Too late" Bellamy whispered down at her.

XoXoXoX

Octavia was watching Clarke and Lexa interact with mild interest. Neither of them were paying any attention to their surroundings but maybe that was what was beautiful about the whole thing.

Raven threw herself down into the chair next to her and they shared a smile. Octavia would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous about this thing happening with Raven because that's what it was 'a thing' she would now have to address. They had kissed and Octavia had confessed her feelings to Raven and vice versa. Raven was watching Bellamy and Echo with envious eyes. Octavia realised what was wrong and stood up ignoring the questioning look sent her way.

She held out her hand, "Come one"

Raven laughed but didn't move from her position, "I don't think that's a good idea Pocahontas"

Octavia had to admit, the name had grown on her, "Just because you can't move around as well as you used to doesn't mean you can't try"

Raven was watching her with wonder and she seemed to consider it for a moment before for realising an exasperated laugh and shaking her head, "You're crazy"

"Maybe" Octavia thought back to after the explosion when those words had come from a very different mouth under very different circumstances, "But that's not a reason for you not to take my hand"

Raven sucked her bottom lip in and stole another glance at the people dancing, "Okay"

She allowed herself to be pulled into the midst of dancers. Octavia guided her hands to her neck before placing her own on Raven's waist and smiling at her triumphantly.

They stayed like that for a while with Octavia leading before she leant down and kissed Raven, "Told you, you could do it"

"Shut up" Raven closed her eyes and pulled Octavia in for a deeper kiss.

XoXoXoX

"You're drunk Lexa"

"Possibly"

Clarke laughed at the girl in front of her. She had the front of her cloak un-done and the smile hadn't disappeared from her face all night; her gloved hand was outstretched expectantly.

"How are you going to lead?"

Lexa narrowed her eyes but still the smile didn't waver, "Oh I'm leading am I?"

"Yes" Clarke stood and placed her hand in Lexa's.

XoXoXoX

_You wait for a silence_

_I wait for a word_

_Lying next to your frame_

_Girl unobserved_

_You change your position_

_And you're changing me_

_Casting these shadows_

_Where they shouldn't be_

Raven's head was resting on Octavia's shoulder when the rain started. She pulled back and looked at Octavia as the droplets fell down her face, "We're not going to stop are we?"

Octavia shook her head.

_We're interrupted_

_By the heat of the sun_

_Trying to prevent_

_What's already begun_

_Oh, you're just a body_

_I can smell your skin_

_And when we feel it_

_You're wearing thin_

Echo gasped as a sudden burst of water ran down her back. She attempted to pull back to wipe her eyes but another hand got there first and when she finally opened her eyes her vision was all Bellamy.

_Oh, but I've got a plan_

_And why don't you be the artist?_

_And make me out of clay?_

_Why don't you be the writer?_

_And decide the words I say?_

_'Cause I'd rather pretend_

_I'll still be there at the end_

_Only it's too hard to ask_

_Won't you try to help me?_

Lexa was grinning past the rain that was dampening her features. She looked down at Clarke who was welcoming the rain with her eyes closed as her hair was pinned to her face.

_Sat on your sofa_

_It's all broken springs_

_This isn't the place for_

_Those violin strings_

_Oh, I try out a smile_

_And I aim it at you_

_Oh, you must have missed it_

_You always do_

Octavia looked over and saw Bellamy and Echo, she smiled to herself then caught a glimpse of Lexa and Clarke, and she turned and looked for the other dancers. The fire was fighting through the rain but everyone else had long since escaped to the dry and warmth of Polis.

_Oh, but I've got a plan_

_And why don't you be the artist?_

_And make me out of clay?_

_Oh, why don't you be the writer?_

_And decide the words I say?_

_'Cause I'd rather pretend_

_I'll still be there at the end_

_Only it's too hard to ask_

_Won't you try to help me?_

Bellamy watched Echo. Rain was pouring down her face and her hair was a mess but he thought she looked beautiful. She was looking at him with an odd expression and he faltered in his dancing for a moment.

Echo gave him a look and they both closed the gap, ignoring the rain still running down both of their faces.

_You wait_

_I wait_

_Casting shadows_

_Interrupted_

"Clarke"

She looked up to see Lexa watching her and she lifted her hand to her cheek.

_You wait_

_I wait_

_Casting shadows_

_Interrupted_

"I love you"

_You wait_

_I wait_

_Casting shadows_

_Interrupted_

Lexa's eyes went wide and Clarke's mouth hung open. She wasn't sure who said it first but the words had definitely fallen from both of their mouths.

_You wait_

_I wait_

_Casting shadows_

Clarke raised both of her hands to Lexa's cheeks and pulled her down to meet her in a fierce kiss. It didn't matter who said it first. They both said it.

_Why don't you be the artist?_

_And make me out of clay?_

_Why don't you be the writer?_

_And decide the words I say?_

_'Cause I'd rather pretend_

_I'll still be there at the end_

_Only it's too hard to ask_

_Won't you try to help me?_

Raven fell into the kiss and couldn't stop the grin from forming. They would be alright. They all would.

_Why don't you be the artist?_

_And make me out of clay?_

_Why don't you be the writer?_

_And decide the words to say?_

_'Cause I'd rather pretend_

_I'll still be there at the end_

_Only it's too hard to ask_

_Won't you try to help me?_

**Actually I wasn't originally going to have a song here but then I got to the last part of the chapter and half of the things that happened in this chapter weren't meant to and it all kind of fell into place but you know what? I'm happy with the result**

**The song is The Writer by Ellie Goulding if you didn't recognise it :)**

**Let me know what you think!**


	17. I saved it all for you

**I apologise to anyone who couldn't open the video the link I posted went crap but the link is on my bio :)**

**Clexafever: Honestly I love writing this fic so much. It gives me so much joy knowing that I know where this is heading and that you're all going to hate me at the end (SAYING NO MORE) ;) Anyway I'm glad you're enjoying it haha. Octavia and Raven don't get enough love as a pairing. I love Lexa/Clarke Octavia/Raven Clarke/Raven so my fics will probably be a mix of these… I have an idea for a Raven/Clarke fic… But I'm going to finish this before I start anything else**

**I'm getting repetitive strain injury in my hands and neck so if I take a while to update then that's why haha (God I hate college -_-)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

They arrived back at Camp Jaha early morning before the sun had risen and the camp was alive with the sounds of their people. Clarke had visibly relaxed the moment they crossed the border. There was something serene about the camp now. The fence around the ark had been taken down and instead it sat at the centre of distantly spaced tents with the largest, Lexa's tent, pitched next to the ark.

Clarke didn't remember getting down from the horse and following Lexa back to her tent. The grounder didn't say anything she just pulled Clarke down under the covers with her and together they enjoyed what was left of the night.

Now that the war was over and peace for the sky people was also guaranteed Lexa herself seemed more relaxed. She had certainly been more intimate with Clarke on the journey back. Yet still something was nagging her at the back of her mind and Clarke couldn't drop the feeling that something was wrong. Lexa was happy, too happy, and it didn't sit right with Clarke. It seemed… forced.

She awoke to the familiar smell of the forest and the sounds of a camp that had been awake for a while. Her arm tightened around the pillow and she pushed her face further in away from the day she refused to meet just yet.

Only when she turned her head did she realise what her 'pillow' was and, opening her eyes, she was met with the familiar glint in a green pair looking down at her.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Clarke groaned and leaned back into Lexa's shoulder, "Too early" she mumbled.

A laugh vibrated beneath her and Lexa's hand moved up to stroke Clarke's bare back, "Everyone else has been awake for a while. Your mother came in" Clarke's head whipped up and Lexa winked, "Twice"

Now Clarke really did bury her head back into the pillow. She felt Lexa shift and knew they couldn't avoid the day any longer.

XoXoXoX

Raven sighed and ran a hand through her hair not for the first time that morning. She turned to the slumbering Blake next to her and smiled at the slightly open mouth that released a gentle snore every few moments.

She had been awake since the break of day and knew that she should have tried to get some more sleep but her head had been all over the place.

Polis had been beautiful and, after everything, a much needed break for all of them but now they were back. Back to reality. Now she had a decision to make and she knew that whatever she decided Octavia would stand by her but… but she was scared.

If she went through with this procedure Abbey was talking about then it would be painful, really painful, and she might not be up and walking again for a long time. However, if she did go through with it and it worked then she wouldn't need the brace and her muscles wouldn't feel so useless all the time.

If she didn't… then nothing would change. Raven would need the brace to walk and there would always be this drag behind her but there would be no pain. She wouldn't have weeks, possibly months, with any ability in her legs.

The decision was hers.

Octavia groaned to her right and she watched the younger girl rouse herself slowly. Only when her gaze landed on Raven did she smile and lift her head from the pillow.

Raven sighed and dragged herself down the bed so she was facing Octavia, "Morning"

"Is it?" Octavia asked, taking note of the still silent camp.

She just shrugged and moved to get up, "Barely"

Octavia just growled and buried her head again, "Then why" She pulled the covers up and over her head, "Are you awake?"

Raven laughed and pulled her leg into the brace, no more doing that if she went through with it, "We can't lie in bed forever and I need to speak with Abby"

Octavia sat up at that and moved next to her at the edge of the bed, "Have you decided?"

"No"

At Octavia's raised eyebrow she just rolled her eyes and let out a long sigh, "I don't know what to do O… There's an argument for and against. I love Abby but the idea of her doing this alone makes me nervous"

"Well" Octavia leant down to help finish strapping the brace, "Why don't I ask Clarke to oversee it?"

She thought about that for a moment and nodded slowly, "I do trust Clarke"

"So do I" Octavia lifted her head up and smiled reassuringly, "But I trust that Abby knows what she's doing as well"

Raven furrowed her brow and nodded. She did trust Abby but having Clarke there, who had proven herself more than once since being on the ground, gave her extra comfort.

She lifted herself of the bed and moved to get ready when a hand grasped her from behind. With a screech she fell back onto the covers as Octavia tackled her laughing. Her laugh joined but a moment later she was silenced by the Blake's lips covering hers.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy was eating alone when Clarke sat down next to him. She sighed and looked around at the others. The tables were placed neatly outside of the Ark, to the further left a large fire was lit every night to cook their food, and there was a slight cover over a few of the tables. Bellamy still couldn't quite get over the feeling of eating outside under the bright sky and sun, trees in the distance and the smell of the woods constantly under his nose.

Clarke lifted her head to take in the morning and she smiled happily down at him. Bellamy grinned back as he took another bite of food, "First smile I've seen in a long time Princess"

She rolled her eyes and began eating her breakfast, "I don't think we've appreciated Earth quite like this before"

"Yeah well, we've been busy if you hadn't noticed"

Clarke shot him a look as Octavia and Raven sat down opposite them. The two had been inseparable since Polis and, despite the lingering awkwardness of having slept with Raven himself, Bellamy was happy for Octavia. Clarke was right; they really hadn't appreciated Earth enough since arriving.

Octavia's left arm was placed gently at the small of Raven's back as the mechanic leant into her side slightly, "Clarke I have a favour to ask"

She nodded for Octavia to continue, "Can you oversee Raven's operation?"

Clarke stopped chewing and swallowed, "My mum-"

"Is a great doctor" Raven cut in, "Believe me I know but I would just feel better if there was more than one person in there"

"That I know" She added at Clarke's look of confusion.

"So would I" Octavia mumbled and Clarke nodded smiling between the two, "Of course… Does this mean you're going through with it?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "I want to… and I think I need to"

"Okay, yes, I'll do it"

Clarke indicated to the Ark, "I was about to meet my mum, if you come then we can talk you through everything you want to know?"

Raven agreed and they stood to leave. Octavia made to follow but Bellamy called her back, "So you and Raven?"

She gave him an accusing look, "So you and Echo"

He laughed and raised his hands in defence, "I wasn't complaining… Abby knows what she's doing O"

"I know" Octavia sat back down again, "and I know that she'll be in pain no matter what happens but I want to make sure she won't be in any more pain than necessary"

Bellamy nodded and placed his hand over hers, "Clarke and Abby have this covered… trust them?"

"I do" She bit her lip like she wanted add more and grinned, "You and Echo slept together"

It was a statement, not a question, and he didn't need to ask to know how she found out. They hadn't exactly been discrete when she had led him back to her room and Bellamy wasn't known for being subtle either. That and he had run into Clarke and Lexa the morning after. The commander's face told him everything he needed to know.

He sighed and prepared himself, "We did"

To his surprise Octavia just shrugged, "I'm happy for you… are you together?"

He puffed out his chest, "Yes actually"

Octavia snorted and stood from the table, "You and commitment… I'll believe it when I see it"

Bellamy grimaced and rolled his eyes, "Whatever O… Though I have been curious about something?"

"Go on" She looked amused and was smirking at him.

"I slept with your girlfriend before you"

Octavia's amusement just seemed to increase and she shrugged, "Yep"

She made to leave again and he called to her, "Doesn't that bother you?"

Octavia didn't stop or turn around; she just called over her shoulder, "Don't flatter yourself. She didn't come back for seconds did she?"

Bellamy just laughed and couldn't help but wonder if he was the punch line to a private joke. Then again, she hadn't come back for seconds.

XoXoXoX

He wasn't surprised. Bellamy knew it was only a matter of time until Echo told Lexa about them. He wasn't even surprised that it was only two days after their return that she approached him. What did surprise him was how brash she was about the whole thing.

The grounders had shown Bellamy a small lake and stream nearby that they used for cleaning, the men anyway, and he was taking full advantage of it when the commander appeared.

She didn't even bother to cover her eyes, she just stood there, looking down at him in all his glory with an eyebrow raised and arms crossed. He didn't have to ask to know what it was about.

Echo had warned Bellamy how defensive Lexa could be and that would be heightened having only just been reunited with her sister. The commander intimidated Bellamy at the best of times but Lexa without the commander's bravado on the defensive was utterly terrifying.

Bellamy threw himself back into deeper waters so he could at least keep some dignity. He was waste height when she finally spoke.

"Bellamy Blake"

He nodded and she stepped closer to the water's edge, "My sister has told me how taken with you she has become over the last few days" She gave him a look, "Especially Polis"

Bellamy's eyes widened and he opened his mouth but she raised a hand, "I need no explanation. I respect your sister because she has earned her place among my people, Raven has also earned her place, and Bellamy you too have proven yourself in the mountain. For that, I respect you"

He held back a grin as she opened her mouth again, "However, this isn't about my respect for you as a warrior, this about my respect for you as a person but I don't Bellamy. I don't know you. So I am left to trust my sister in her judgement of you and I do trust her but I still don't know you"

"You want to get to know me?" He stared at her open mouthed.

"You will join me for my hunt tomorrow. Be at the main gate before sunrise"

With that she turned and left without another word, leaving Bellamy staring after her wide eyed and mouth open slightly.

**Well I hope that was satisfying for everyone. I think we're about half way in this and I hope this was a lighter chapter for everyone haha**

**We're building up to a pretty intense chapter soon and I have hinted at it in a previous chapter and there will be a few more hints so I hope it's not too out of the blue :S**

**Anyway please let me know what you all think and I apologise for not updating sooner! :) Thanks for all the follows, favourites and reviews - Love you all!**


	18. So love me like you do

**Back again – yay**

**Listening to Immortals by Fall out boy on repeat because I loooooooove it so much!**

**Getting ready for the university convention on Thursday (roles eyes) yeah because I have any idea what I'm going to do after college…**

**They want me to prepare questions?**

**Anyway enjoy haha**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Echo woke Bellamy much against her better judgement. She didn't know what Lexa was thinking by inviting him along to this hunt but Echo suspected that Lexa was enjoying this more than she let on. Echo had no doubt that Lexa respected Bellamy but would she let an opportunity to mess with him go by? Of course not.

Would Echo tell Bellamy? Of course not.

Bellamy moved to dress but she stopped him and nodded to the pile of clothes she had brought, "To hunt like us you will need to dress like us"

He lifted up the fabric and looked back at her, "They're just pants?"

Echo nodded and tried to hide a smile, "You wear little clothing when hunting, easy movement, and you will not wear a shirt. You will also carry the weapons we give you"

He gave her a questioning glance but she was giving nothing away.

Once he was dressed she led the way out of the tent into the still dark world outside. He was wearing black pants with boots. They made their way to the front gate where Lexa, Clarke, Octavia and Jua stood.

Jua was wearing similar attire to Bellamy whereas Lexa and Octavia were wearing cloth around their chest as well. Their hair was braided back but there was no war paint to be seen. Octavia was grinning smugly and Jua seemed to be balancing on the balls of his feet. Clarke and Echo stood to the side and watched them all prepare.

Lexa held out a long knife and spear for him, "Keep the blade at your side but make sure to have the spear at the ready"

He nodded and Octavia slapped him on the back, "Don't worry big brother, Indra took me out on a hunt before, just don't impale yourself"

Jua laughed and beamed at him. Bellamy could just about manage a half smile. He turned to where Echo and Clarke were watching and found them both giggling to each other, "Stop laughing" he growled.

Clarke gave him an innocent look whereas Echo just laughed more. Lexa huffed from her place by the gate and told Jua to lead the way.

Shooting one last look over his shoulder at Echo and Clarke he followed the commander out of camp. Octavia turned to Clarke, "Keep an eye on Raven?"

"Two" Clarke promised and moved to close the gate as they all made their way out.

Echo sighed as Octavia disappeared in the trees and shared a look with Clarke, "This should be interesting"

Clarke hummed in agreement, "Breakfast?"

She nodded and together they made their way back down the path ready to start the day.

XoXoXoX

Raven was sitting upright in the medical bay waiting for Clarke and Abby. She kept glancing at the clock nervously as her foot tapped the side of the bed anxiously. With Octavia gone for the day she was hoping to surprise her by being out of surgery when she got back.

It wasn't that she didn't want her around but she knew that if Octavia was in camp whilst this was happening then she would only be causing problems for camp. At least if she was out on a hunt then she could distract herself. She also really needed to do this, especially with Bellamy, and prove herself to the grounders. Raven had been tempted to ask Echo if she could continue Octavia's training but she had yet to breach the subject.

The door suddenly opened and in came Abby closely followed by Clarke. They gave her a reassuring smile as they prepared the equipment. Clarke sat down next to Raven and picked up her wrist ready to inject the anaesthetic.

"How were they?"

"Excited" Clarke met her eyes, "Octavia was practically jumping at the idea of beating Bellamy at something… and I think Lexa is enjoying this a bit more than she should be"

Raven laughed, "Bellamy is out of his depth with those two around"

"I think Echo is just happy that Lexa is trying"

Raven nodded, "It seems… dare I say it, normal?"

Clarke paused and smiled, "Yeah… I guess it does"

XoXoXoX

Bellamy was crouched down behind a tree. He looked to his left where Octavia was in an equal position and behind him to where Jua was staying out of sight but not getting involved. Lexa was leading the hunt and could just about be seen within the undergrowth ahead of them.

They were staying out of sight from the clearing in front of them where a wild boar was grazing unawares of the threat approaching.

Bellamy held his nerve as a familiar sense of excitement washed over him and he wondered if the grounders felt the same during a hunt. To his left Octavia held a wide eyes expression and he could only assume she felt the same.

Lexa raised her left hand slightly palm wide and he prepared himself, spear at the ready, as she started to move forward. She halted at the edge of the clearing and indicated to her left and right.

Lexa and Octavia had talked Bellamy through the hand signals used during the hunt and he knew she meant for him and Octavia to split to her left and right so they could surround the boar.

Keeping low and avoiding making a sound he crept along the ground. He switched his gaze between the boar and ground. Lexa watched him out of the corner of her eye and nodded in approval as he moved into position.

A bird erupted from the ground behind them and the boar looked up slightly startled.

Lexa cringed for a moment and unconsciously sunk lower to the ground but she needn't have worried. A moment later the boar turned back to the grass.

She raised her hand again palm wide and held her breath for a moment, her right hand twisting around the spear, before closing it and stretching her spear arm back.

Three spears flew from the grass in perfect sync.

XoXoXoX

Clarke and Echo were waiting for them when they arrived back. They watched as Octavia sauntered in first with a small blood splatter across the bottom part of her chest but looking utterly thrilled with herself. Bellamy followed behind and he too had a thin layer of blood across his chest. Jua was carrying the boar and carried it towards the fire followed by cheers from the grounders and sky people.

Clarke smiled as Lexa came into view. The blood was thick across her chest but she smiled once she spotted Clarke.

She pulled Lexa into a tight hug and kissed her lightly before pulling back, "So, how was he?"

Lexa shrugged nonchalantly, "He wasn't as bad as he might have been"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "You can admit that he impressed you"

"He didn't disappoint me" She offered causing Clarke to scoff and pull her down for a longer kiss.

Echo laughed as Bellamy threw the spear down, "Your sister is crazy"

"So is yours" They both looked over to where Octavia and Jua were displaying the boar for all to see.

"Fair point" He grinned at her and put an arm around her, "Does this mean I passed the test?"

Echo shrugged, "Oh there was never a test"

Bellamy's smile faltered and he looked at her, "What?"

She tried to contain her laugh, "Lexa never had a problem with you… She took you on the hunt to see you take down a boar… and to mess with you"

"You mean" His eyes widened, "The commander set me up... as a joke?"

Now Echo laughed and she winked at Lexa over his shoulder who returned the look with raised eyebrow.

XoXoXoX

Clarke waited until the hype from the boar had died down to tell Octavia about Raven; she at least deserved to enjoy the aftermath of the hunt. Lexa had told her one of the most satisfying parts of a hunt was to watch your people feast afterwards.

"Octavia"

She had changed back into her normal wear minus the war paint and was just finishing off the story of the hunt to another group of grounders. They were watching her in awe as she approached Clarke and she wondered if any of them had been given the honour of hunting with the commander.

"What's wrong Clarke?"

"Raven's out of surgery"

"Surgery?" Octavia's confusion answered Clarke's next question and she winced briefly.

"She didn't tell you…"

Octavia's smile had dropped now and she was storming towards the Ark, "She had the surgery and didn't think to tell me?"

She whirled round and faced Clarke who stumbled back, "You didn't tell me?"

Clarke placed her hands on Octavia's shoulder and looked her straight in the eyes, "She's fine Octavia. We're waiting for the anaesthetic to wear off and I'm sorry but I honestly thought she had told you that it was happening today"

"Do you think I would have gone on that hunt if I had known?"

She sighed and shook her head, "No but maybe that's why Raven didn't tell you… Maybe she didn't want you to worry"

Octavia nodded in understanding and bit her lip, "She's okay?" She asked cautiously and let out a breath as Clarke nodded.

"I'll take you to her"

XoXoXoX

Octavia sat down cautiously and looked over the sleeping mechanic. She looked peaceful and that brought a smile to her face as she took her right hand between hers.

Abby approached and began to check Raven's vitals, "I wouldn't be surprised if she woke up in the next few hours Octavia. I'll leave you two alone but if she wakes up come and find me?"

Octavia nodded and looked up at the older Griffin. She looked exhausted and suddenly she felt slightly guilty, "Thank you Abby"

She smiled at Octavia and put a hand on her shoulder, "I was doing my job Octavia. The hard part will be keeping her in bed when she wakes up; you know how she was after mount weather"

Octavia laughed, "Yeah… That'll be a challenge"

XoXoXoX

Abby left Octavia to watch over Raven. She ran a hand through her hair and made her way back to her tent.

She was getting ready for bed when Clarke pushed back the flap and made her way inside, "Hey"

"Hello Clarke" She stopped what she was doing and sat down on her bed, a moment later Clarke joined her, "Well done today Clarke and thank you for your help"

Clarke shook her head, "Thank you for doing that mum"

"It's my job Clarke" She smiled at her daughter, "But you knew that… what can I do for you?"

Clarke sighed and looked up at the canopy before looking back down again, "I don't think Lexa is sleeping"

Abby watched her daughter, "What makes you think that?"

"I know she's not" She leant back against the beam behind her, "She's tired all the time, she's awake every time I wake up, she refuses to fall asleep before me and on the rare occasion I catch her sleeping she will wake up after a few seconds"

Abby nodded and placed a hand on Clarke's knee soothingly, "I think you should talk to her Clarke. Keep an eye on her but if that doesn't help then tell me okay? We can't have her collapsing from exhaustion"

Clarke smiled and they pulled each other into a tight embrace, "Thanks mum"

"I love you Clarke"

"I love you too"

They stayed like that for a while and Abby felt as though she could finally truly appreciate Earth for what it was. Home.

**Another light chapter and that's it for today but I will try and update tomorrow – I have a plan guys, I have a plan!**

**Right I'm off to bed – so tired…**

**Hope you all are still enjoying this fic and it's living up to your expectations (?)**

**Haha well let me know what you think of today's posts and once again I am so sorry for the wait between the updates**


	19. There's nowhere we can hide

**I'm baaaaaack! Casually watching Rubicon – oooooo dramatic **

**God I hate Emerson, his face is just, euuuuuggggghhhhhh**

**Anyway enjoy there's a bit of angst coming your way so enjoy the lightness whilst it lasts ;)**

**Clexafever: Haha worried? Oh don't worry, If I fail out of college it'll have nothing to do with the 100 :') I'm glad you're still enjoying it**

**castlewalls7: Bellamy was asking for the teasing :') As for Lexa that's going to be the main focus of the next few chapters**

**Disclaimer: if I did own this do you think I would still be at college?**

"You and Bellamy then?"

Echo and Lexa hadn't talked much more than the brief conversation they had had before the hunt and Echo was quickly learning that Lexa enjoyed teasing her. A lot.

She didn't know whether it stemmed from their years of separation or this was Lexa letting down her walls but it was starting to grate on her last nerve.

"We've already discussed this Lexa"

"No you talked and I listened" Lexa protested.

Echo shook her head, "Yes and then you took him out on a hunt and beheaded a boar in front of him before dissecting it"

There was something normal about the new dynamic between them and Echo loved it. They were in a time of peace for the first time in their lifetimes and she felt slightly lost with all this new found freedom. One good thing this lifestyle brought was the new side of Lexa. Peace suited her and it meant that her hard exterior could fall around them. The teasing was just another part of this 'peace' Lexa.

Just when she thought Lexa might have given up Bellamy arrived.

He placed the gun down in front of Echo on the table. She paused mid mouthful and gave him a look, "What?"

He sat down opposite her and indicated to the gun, "Your people are learning to shoot, I owe you, so I'll teach you how to shoot"

Lexa snorted into her food and Bellamy ignored her, "Shall we?"

Echo shook her head in exasperation, "You're not going to drop this are you?"

"You said yourself that if I enjoyed dancing then I had to teach you something" Lexa snorted again and a moment later the table banged as she yelped and glared at Echo who was pointedly avoiding her gaze, "So here's my offer"

Lexa opened her mouth to say something but Echo pushed her face away with the palm of her hand and she smiled at him, "Okay, you can teach me how to shoot"

He grinned an rose from the table, "Great. Don't be late"

She winked at him as he walked over to where Octavia and Clarke were prepping food.

Echo spun and glared at Lexa, "You certainly pick your moments to act like a normal human being"

She said nothing but wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at her sister who groaned and slammed her head on the table.

Sometimes she really misses the mountain.

XoXoXoX

Raven's eyes fluttered open. The first thing she became aware of was the pain shooting down her side towards her leg causing a groan to escape her lips. At the sound of her groan a movement came from her right and she turned to see Octavia's eyes opening.

"Hey" she mumbled and Octavia's eyes widened.

She jumped forward and grabbed Raven's hand. Her eyes faded to anger and she growled at Raven, "How couldn't you tell me what you were doing?"

"Because you would stay" She croaked out but Octavia's eyes didn't waver.

"Of course I would stay! I can't lose you too Raven, I stayed at mount weather because you needed me and you needed me now"

Raven closed her eyes and swallowed, she was too tired for this, "That's why I couldn't tell you, I asked you to stay at the Dam and that wasn't fair Octavia. You could have gotten out, saved yourself, but I made you stay and you could have died"

Octavia shook her head and leaned closer, "You didn't make me stay Raven, I chose to, and I would do it all over again. I'm just glad you're okay"

"Why?" She croaked out.

"Because I love you" Octavia said simply.

Raven's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to reply but Octavia cut her off, "I don't need to hear it back, I just want you to know"

She smiled at her and pulled her into a quick kiss.

XoXoXoX

Abby held out her hand for Raven and smiled encouragingly, "Just take it easy with the first few steps"

Raven huffed and looked at her legs hanging over the bed, "I can't do it Abby. My muscles are just too weak for this right now"

Octavia was watching. They had expected Raven to be anxious to be out of bed the moment she woke up but it had been a week now and she was still trying to put off the inevitable.

"Come on Raven just a few steps"

She shook her head again and Octavia rolled her eyes, Okay enough is enough.

"Abby let me try" The doctor nodded and left the room for a moment to give them some privacy.

Raven glared at her, "What?"

It was time for Raven to realise she wasn't the only stubborn one in this relationship. Octavia knelt down in front of her but stared back at her with a stony expression.

"At first I found this whole 'patient reluctance' really cute" Raven gave her a look, "But now it's just starting to grate on me and I'm getting really sick of it"

"Well thanks for the concern" Raven snapped back causing Octavia to return her glare.

"I'm serious. I've had enough of this Raven, you're supposed to be a pain in my ass not stuck in bed all day, time to get up"

"I am up" Her refusal spurred Octavia up into a standing position and she grabbed her hands.

"I mean up up. Stand up!"

"No" Raven stared up at her in defiance.

Throwing her head back and letting out a low groan she pulled on her hands, "Up Raven. You don't have a choice in this"

It took a few more attempts but eventually Raven relented and finally Raven was leaning heavily against Octavia but standing none the less. Octavia guided Raven's legs and pulled into her first few steps.

Raven was beaming as her leg moved with Octavia's, "I'm doing it!"

"See" Octavia guided her into the next step, "I told you"

Just as she said that Raven slipped and fell back into Octavia's embrace. She winced slightly but when her eyes met the mechanics she was shocked to find the happiness still plastered across her face.

"I still did it"

"Yes" She lowered her lips down to her forehead, "Yes you did"

XoXoXoX

Clarke let out a long sigh as she entered the tent. The day had been long and tiring. A few of her people were still reluctant to make the joining of their people so she and Abby had spent most of the day being the mediator in arguments. Lexa would have helped but she had her own problems with a group of grounders on the outskirts of her border.

Clarke threw her gun down on the table and her eyes landed on Lexa who was sitting on her throne with her head in her hands looking exhausted.

"Rough day for you too?"

Lexa didn't respond and Clarke realised she was asleep. She winced and slipped over to her, she didn't want to wake her but the throne couldn't be a comfortable for her to sleep. She needn't have worried though because a second later Lexa jerked herself awake.

Her eyes were wide and panicked but the moment they spotted Clarke she attempted to hide it. Lexa coughed awkwardly and moved from the seat to undress, "How was your day?"

Clarke shook her head and moved to remove her clothes as well, "Tiring, yours?"

"It was" she paused to think for a moment, "Long"

She nodded and waited for Lexa to finish before walking over and putting her hands on the girls shoulders, "Lexa…"

"Clarke" Lexa eyed her warily.

"We need to talk Lexa"

Lexa swallowed and attempted to calm herself but Clarke had learned to read the other girl so the fear wasn't lost on her, "You can't spend the rest of your life avoiding sleep Lexa"

"I'm not" Clarke closed her eyes and stepped back.

"I'm not stupid Lexa so don't treat me like I am"

She frowned and opened her mouth to argue but Clarke cut her off, "Don't deny it. I know that you haven't slept properly in ages, I haven't missed the fact that you're always awake when I go to sleep and wake up, you finally fall asleep but it hardly lasts. You're avoiding it and you're avoiding talking to me"

Lexa pursed her lips and refused to speak. Clarke frowned and pointed to the bed, "You don't have to talk to me but at least try and sleep? I'll be right here. Just try it please, for me"

She looked like she wanted to do anything else but at Clarke's pleading eyes she couldn't say no.

They settled comfortably into the bed with Clarke on her back and Lexa's head on her chest. She held her with one arm and her other moved up to stroke her spine gently. She waited patiently and for a while Lexa still seemed to be refusing sleep but ever so slightly her breathing evened out and Clarke relaxed back into the covers.

She smiled lightly and looked down at the sleeping form. She wasn't relaxed but at least she was asleep.

Clarke was about to join her when Lexa tensed and her heart rate sped up. Clarke looked down as Lexa attempted to push her body away. She was still asleep so Clarke tried to wake her but that just seemed to panic her further. Her hands went to fight against the sleeping girl but she was strong and it was all Clarke could do to stop her from pushing herself off the bed.

"Lexa" She continued to push and shake her head, "Lexa!"

Her eyes whipped open and she was breathing heavily. Lexa scanned the tent and looked around her dazed but she was still breathing heavily and panicking slightly.

"Lexa it's me, it's okay"

She finally noticed Clarke but that didn't seem to reassure her and a new form of panic seemed to settle in. An incoherent noise came from her mouth as she scrambled from the bed and hurried to put her clothes on.

"Lexa talk to me"

Clarke attempted to turn her around but instead she pulled on the last of her clothes and darted from the tent without looking at Clarke.

She ran a tired hand through her hair and tried to hold back the worried tears that were at the edge of her vision.

XoXoXoX

Clarke hadn't slept by the time she arrived at the Ark. She made her way to the medical bay where Abby was seeing to a young girl that had come down with an illness.

She looked up at Clarke's entrance and gave her a smile before looking back at the girl, "Okay just rest here and I'll come back to check on you in a minute"

The young girl nodded and Abby stroked her head reassuringly before standing up and walking over to Clarke, "You look exhausted"

She snorted and crossed her arms, "Not as bad as Lexa"

Abby's eyes widened, "What happened?"

They sat down at the desk and Clarke leaned on her hands suddenly feeling the full extent of her exhaustion, "It was going so well. I got her to sleep and I thought she might actually be okay but then she suddenly started to panic… god she must have been having a nightmare! She woke up and just ran from the tent; didn't even look me in the eye before going"

Abby nodded and rubbed her hand across Clarke's back reassuringly, "I think I have an idea what it might be, let me speak to her?"

Clarke raised her head to reveal watery eyes, "You think it will help?"

"I do"

She nodded and smiled, "Then please do"

XoXoXoX

Lexa was tending to the horses. She found it calming and soothing as she stroked down the mane gently and allowed her thoughts to clear.

Footsteps approached from the right and she recognised the familiar heavy foot as the sky peoples way. Turning her head gently she was surprised to find Abby approaching not the younger Griffin.

"Commander"

Lexa smiled and nodded a welcome, "It's Lexa, Chancellor, and you saved my life in the mountain"

Abby walked up to the horse and admired it for a moment, "I think we both know why I'm here commander"

"Clarke" She didn't need to ask to know the answer, "Clarke spoke to you"

"She's worried about you" Abby turned to face her, "And frankly Commander, so am I"

"I am fine"

"That's a lie" It wasn't a question and Lexa was feeling too tired to argue with her. She argued with Clarke because she didn't want her to worry but there was a level of respect that she had for the doctor, "You and I both know what happened in that mountain. Clarke knows what happened to you in there Lexa you can talk to her… but I don't think that's the problem here"

Lexa's movements faltered, "I am… afraid of what sleep brings"

Abby nodded, "I think you need some closure on what happened to you"

"It's not just the mountain" she admitted, "I see every death from this war and I feel the guilt from each man and woman"

They stood in silence for a moment as Abby waited for Lexa to speak again.

"I think I know what I have to do"

XoXoXoX

Raven was balancing precariously on a stool when Wick entered. He shot her a smug grin and waved his hand.

She smiled back and he made his way over to his work station, "Somebody is up and about"

"Kind of" she mumbled as she struggled to balance, "So what's our latest project?"

"Well I was thinking since the Dam was such a roaring success we could blow up the Ark next" He grinned at the glare he was given, "Seriously though we have nothing to do around here Raven"

Raven huffed slightly and picked up a radio in front of her, "What's happening with the radios?"

Wick shrugged, "Nothing, we don't need them, use them if you like but there's nothing to use them for"

She looked at them for a moment and lifted her head to look at the dead radio against the wall…

"Hey aren't the other Ark stations still out there somewhere?"

"I suppose" He didn't seem to be listening.

"What if we use the radios to try and contact the other stations… Now the wars over we could try and search for survivors?"

Wick paused and frowned at her, "You're serious?"

"Yes!"

He smiled slightly and she could feel her excitement growing. She had to tell Clarke.

**Let me know what you all think! :)**


	20. Don't get too close it's dark inside

**This is a short music chapter that I felt was needed separately for Lexa and Clarke**

**The song is demons by Imagine Dragons**

**Just Lexa and Clarke this chapter :)**

**Hope it's to everyone's liking**

**Disclaimer: Nope**

"Clarke"

She looked up from the letter to see Lexa standing at the entrance of the tent. She smiled weakly and rose from the chair.

Lexa took her hands and smiled own at her, "I want to show you something"

Clarke nodded and followed Lexa out of their tent and she led the way into the woods. They didn't speak but Clarke allowed herself to be held and pulled further into the trees. She didn't ask where they were going but trusted that Lexa knew where she was heading.

Lexa took them to a clearing in the middle of the forest and Clarke's breathe hitched.

It was similar to what they had seen on their first night on Earth but this was so much more beautiful. Lexa let go of her and she walked into the space and spun around slowly. It was dark but the air was lit by the vibrant colours of the trees and flowers that littered the ground. The blue haze that melted into green mixed with the moonlight was so magical.

She faced Lexa again in wonder and found her eyes watching Clarke. The wonder that Clarke felt was plastered across Lexa's face but she wasn't looking at the trees, she was looking at Clarke.

Noticing her watching, Lexa stepped forward to join Clarke in the clearing.

She raised her hand up to Clarke's cheek and pulled her into a searing kiss, "I am so sorry for how I treated you"

"Lexa, it's okay"

She placed her forehead on Clarke's and lowered her hands to her waste so she was holding Clarke in a tight embrace, "No, It's not, you care about me and you were just trying to help. I treated you horribly and we promised to be honest with each other but now I have dishonoured you with that"

Clarke stayed silent sensing she wasn't finished, "I promise. I will tell you everything now so just ask and I will answer"

Clarke raised her arms to wrap around Lexa's neck but she kept one hand on her cheek so she could rub it with her thumb gently, "I just want to know what's happening up here" she whispered gently.

Lexa smiled and nodded, "I see them all Clarke… Everyone that burnt attacking your people, all 300 warriors, I see the people that died in TonDC and they weren't warriors. They were elders, children, families… I left Children without parents and parents without children… I left people without a home"

Clarke shook her head, "You didn't make that decision alone Lexa… We both did"

"I can't let you carry this Clarke" She jumped in before Clarke could cut her off, "You wanted to help, you were trying to help, but I did nothing and that is my burden… "

She nodded and waited for Lexa to continue, "I don't know what's real and what's not… When I fall asleep I see things, me, doing things that I don't remember doing and your mum says my memories were distorted by the reaper drug but- but I can't tell the difference Clarke. I don't remember what's real and what's not"

A stray tear escaped and Clarke wiped it away, "I am… I am real Lexa"

"You… I love you Clarke and I wish that was enough, I thought it was, but it hasn't stopped and I can't do it… I can't face them Clarke"

"You don't have to" she offered but Lexa shook her head as tears poured more easily.

"No I do… I have to face this Clarke. I have to face my people and what they went through, what I put them through, but I'm afraid"

Clarke faltered for a moment at the confession of fear from the commander and she thought for a moment that she would fall all over again, "I'm here Lexa, lean on me when you need to, I'm here"

She pulled Lexa into a wet kiss, she was no longer bothering to fight the tears, "Every time I fall asleep I'm forced to repeat everything again"

Clarke nodded and held Lexa just a little bit tighter, "Cage should have suffered more for what he's done to your people"

"Our people" Lexa smiled down at her weakly, "They're our people now Clarke"

She nodded, they really were.

_When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold_

_And the saints we see_

_Are all made of gold_

Clarke started to sway slightly and the spot and Lexa followed her movements eager for a distraction.

_When your dreams all fail_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood's run stale_

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

Lexa tightened her hold wanting to feel like she could at least protect someone she cared about.

_No matter what we breed_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

They both pulled back and met the other's gaze before locking into another kiss. Lexa leaned further into it and opened whatever was left of her heart to give to the sky girl.

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

They pushed against each other as the kiss became more intense and, with a reassuringly heated look from Lexa, Clarke lifted her shirt gently.

_At the curtain's call_

_It's the last of all_

_When the lights fade out_

_All the sinners crawl_

They backed up to the nearest tree and Clarke begged for dominance whilst Lexa willingly gave it.

_So they dug your grave_

_And the masquerade_

_Will come calling out_

_At the mess you made_

_Don't wanna let you down_

_But I am hell bound_

_Though this is all for you_

_Don't wanna hide the truth_

_No matter what we breed_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_They say it's what you make_

_I say it's up to fate_

_It's woven in my soul_

_I need to let you go_

Clarke was laying gently on Lexa who was panting heavily beneath her. It was an awkward position but she didn't care. She just leaned back into another kiss.

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_

_I wanna save that light_

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

Clarke sighed lightly and looked back up to the forest eyes that were watching her intently. Lexa's hand was at Clarke's waste and her thumb was rubbing reassuringly; Clarke tightened her hold around her and hummed gently against her skin.

"Clarke"

"mmm" She didn't open her eyes but stayed where she was.

"There is something else I must tell you"

Clarke hummed again without looking up and she felt Lexa take a deep breath beneath her.

"I'm going back to the mountain"

Now she looked up.

**So yeah a bit different and a bit quick – Hope that was alright haha**

**Please keep them reviews coming!**


	21. What are you waiting for?

**I apologise for the jumping around this chapter but that's how I prefer to write for chapters like these when there's quite a bit happening – We're building up for some more intense chapters and this is the first hint of the finale so enjoy ;)**

**I hope you're all still enjoying this and I'm not completely boring you all haha **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"What did you say to Lexa?"

Abby was backed against the chair in her tent and she didn't think the word pissed was quite strong enough to describe Clarke's face. She spluttered out a reply but Clarke wasn't giving her a chance to speak.

"Why would you make her think that she has to go back there?"

"That's Lexa's choice" she defended.

Clarke let out a shrill laugh, "Oh really? Back to the mountain mum! Has that registered with you, she can't go back there, that won't help her! If anything that will make her feel worse"

"I don't think so" She wasn't going to relent on this, no matter what Clarke wanted.

"I don't care what you think" Clarke stepped closer so that she was right in Abby's face, "I don't want her to have to see what I saw when going through hat mountain. She needs closure not opening an old wound"

Clarke turned to leave but Abby stopped her, "Have you considered that maybe that's what she needs to get closure?"

She didn't reply but stormed out the way she came.

XoXoXoX

Raven threw the radio down in anger. Her and Wick had been at this for hours but they still couldn't hook it up to the Ark's mainframe to try and contact the other stations. Wick had given up about two hours ago and was currently attempting to balance his stool on one leg.

"Are you going to help me or continue to act like an idiot?"

His stool slammed back down, "Reyes we've been at this for hours and you still haven't got it – We'll get through the mainframe but it'll take time and whilst that's happening it wouldn't kill you to have some fun"

Raven glared, "Wick can you do me a favour?"

"Sure Zero-G"

"Shut up" she snapped causing him to fly back.

XoXoXoX

Clarke was heavily pacing. Her fingers were rubbing her temples gently and she turned as she reached the end of the tent again. Lexa had been giving her space after her freak out and her mum was also avoiding her. She just wanted to shout at her, shout at Lexa, god she wanted to shout at the pair of them. Why would Lexa want to go back there after everything they had done to move on?

The flap opened and she spun round expecting to see Lexa or her mum but instead it was Octavia who made her way into the tent, "Oh, is the commander here?"

"No" growled Clarke and returned to her pacing.

Octavia didn't move to leave but stayed there watching Clarke, "What's happened?"

"Why would you think something has happened?"

She snorted in amusement and raised an eyebrow, "Because you're burning a hole in the ground"

Clarke stopped pacing and faced her, "Oh… right"

"So…" Octavia moved to a spare chair, "What's happened?"

She sat down opposite Octavia and told her everything. Explained Lexa's trouble sleeping, the talk with her mum and now Lexa's confession. Octavia was nodding in understanding and she gave Clarke a reassuring smile.

"Maybe your mum's right"

"Oh not you too" She made to leave but Octavia grabbed her arm.

"I'm serious. Have you even considered why Lexa has suddenly decided to do this? It took her so long just to accept it and tell you… maybe she really does need to face this. Why don't you want her to go?"

"Lexa won-"

"We're not talking about Lexa, why don't _you_ want her to go?"

Clarke bit her lip. Why didn't she want her to go to the mountain?

Octavia seemed to guess where her mind was going because she rubbed her arm reassuringly, "See… Your problem isn't with Lexa going. It's what she wants to do, this is about you and your problem with going"

She groaned and slapped her head, "I've been such a hypocrite haven't I?"

"Just a little" She grinned, "Talk to Lexa, like you wanted her to do with you"

"I don't even know where she is O"

Octavia looked to something over her shoulder, "I do"

"Clarke"

She turned her head to see Lexa standing at the entrance of the tent. Octavia coughed awkwardly, "Right, well I'll just leave you two"

Lexa waited until she left to approach Clarke. They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

"Lexa-"

"Clarke-"

Her eyes widened and she smiled a laugh to escape Clarke.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy stepped back from Echo and smiled lightly.

He had been teaching her how to shoot off and on recently and she was getting better. At least now she could hit the target. The grounders were much more open about guns now and he wondered if that had anything to do with the joining of the sky people or if Clarke really did have that much influence over them.

"Just aim and shoot"

Echo looked over at him and cocked her head, "Yes, I know"

He grinned and watched as she fired a round out. The majority hit the target and came really close to hitting the bull's eye. He didn't realise he was watching her until she drew him out of his trance.

"I believe that's called leering Mr. Blake?"

Bellamy opened his mouth to protest but faltered as she flashed him as smile. Instead he just pulled her close to him, "Can't I look?"

He lowered his lips down to hers but she avoided it. He gave her a questioning look but she merely winked at him, "You promised me lessons in how to shoot… try not to get distracted again"

She left him there staring after her dumbfounded.

XoXoXoX

"I haven't treated you fairly"

"Clarke-" She raised her hand and gave Lexa a loving look.

"No, I need to say this, I really haven't been. You were honest with me yesterday and I just threw that right back in your face despite everything that it took for you to tell me that"

"I understand Clarke" Lexa reassured but again Clarke cut her off.

"I don't" Clarke leant forward to look Lexa directly in the eyes, "I don't understand why on earth you would want to go back to that place Lexa… but I understand why you need to and that's because I do too. There are horrors there that I haven't faced and me not wanting you to go back is me projecting my own fears on to you" She paused, "And that isn't fair. So if it's okay with you then I want, no _need_, to go with you back to the mountain"

"Are you sure Clarke?" Lexa held her hands gently and scanned her face for any signs of doubt, "I would never ask you to do something like this that you didn't want to do"

Clarke raised her hand to Lexa's cheek, "You're not asking, I'm telling, we're going to do this together"

"All right" Lexa agreed, "Together"

They leaned in for a chaste kiss and then stood up with Lexa hugging Clarke tightly. After a while she pulled back and indicated to the tent flap.

"Shall we get some food?"

At Clarke's nod they left together, hand in hand, and made their way towards the fire.

XoXoXoX

When Octavia decided to visit Raven she had intended on surprising her with food and company but when she arrived she found Raven alone surrounded by pulled apart machines with her head in her hands.

Placing the food down on the side she moved to where Raven was sitting and wrapped her arms around her, leaning her head on the mechanic's shoulder, "How's the radio coming on?"

"Bad" Raven grumbled without looking up.

"Why?"

She let out a huff and lifted her head up, "We don't have the right components to connect all of this together… I don't know where to find them either. The mountain might have them but I don't want to go back there to check"

Octavia nodded into her shoulder and then remembered, "The dropship"

Raven turned to face her in her arms, "What?"

"The radio you built in the dropship, it would still be there wouldn't it?"

Her mouth dropped and she covered it with her hand in shock, "How the f- How did I forget that?!"

Octavia scoffed and rolled her eyes, "I don't know"

Raven slapped her chest as she turned back to the table, "Can you get Wick in here? I need you and him to go back to the dropship and get the radio"

"Sure" She kissed the top of her head and went to find Wick.

**So yeah here's another one for today haha **

**I have mocks next week so I'm not sure how often I'll update next week but I'm trying to keep the pace going :)**

**We are nearing the end so prepare yourselves the mutli chapters are coming! (I doing those)**


	22. I just want to be by your side

**I eerrrr I apologise for the long wait. I've been putting off writing this one because I knew it was going to be really angsty and shit so I wanted to be in the right headspace to get it just right for you all. Also, if you haven't already seen, I have a second Clexa fic going now so please take a look if ya like?**

**Well please enjoy haha **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Clarke took a shaky breath and looked to her left at Lexa. Her eyes were wide and she was staring down the corridor ahead but her eyes were glazed over unseeing.

They were stood at entrance of mount weather. The door was open and they were yet to muster up the courage to enter. Clarke was holding her nerve but Lexa had yet to speak or move.

They had woken up early and ridden out alone before the sun had risen. The whole journey had been spent in silence and Clarke tried to avoid the tension that had spilled over them. She was doing this for Lexa but there was also a part of her that was doing this for her. Lexa needed to do this and she wondered if facing their demons was their way of moving on. Both of them had unimaginable pressures on them during the war. The things they had done to survive… they were starting to catch up with her now.

"Lexa"

She didn't respond immediately but her eyes focused again and she turned her head to Clarke. Without war paint she looked so much younger and vulnerable than Clarke had ever seen her.

Clarke lifted her hand to the back of Lexa's neck and rubbed circles there reassuringly. Lexa leant into the touch and closed her eyes.

"This is your choice Lexa"

Lexa nodded with closed eyes. She was shaking slightly and Clarke couldn't help remember the last time they were at the mountain… Lexa had been shaking then too.

"I need to do this Clarke but I won't force you to come with me"

Their eyes met and Clarke understood what she was saying, _you don't have to see them again if you can't face it_.

"I need to do this too Lexa"

She nodded and turned back to the entrance, "Are you ready Clarke?"

With a heavy heart she nodded. Lexa's hand went down and linked with hers. Her grip was strong and slightly painful but Clarke took no notice and focussed on the warmth and stability; despite the fear and pain that she knew Lexa was feeling.

"Ready as I'll ever be"

XoXoXoX

Lexa took a steadying breath and gripped the door frame tightly as she looked into the room. Clarke and she had silently agreed to separate inside the mountain. She didn't want Clarke to see the room Cage had taken her to. Lexa didn't want her to put any blame on herself because she already had placed the blame of everything else on her own shoulders.

The chair she had been strapped to was flung back against the floor, the straps undone and lying close, and the empty needles were littering the floor. Lexa spotted blood splattered across the ground and wondered whether it was hers or previous captors. She assumed it was hers but there was no guarantee.

Memories from the reaper drug were coursing through her. Sometimes she wondered whether the drug was still in her system and felt that it must be. Lexa could remember the feeling of the liquid entering her veins and sliding through every crevice of her body before the shaking began in her muscles. Memories were distorted in red and she still didn't know if they were real or not. Even her memories of Costia were changed somehow.

Lexa ignored the shaking of her limbs and took the first step into the room. Placing one foot in front of the other she forced herself to step closer to the chair. A crunching sound distracted her and she looked down under her boot to see one of the syringes crushed against the ground. A small trickle of red was seeping onto the floor.

The red flickered something within her and she flung backwards against the wall, eyes wide, and stared down at the liquid. There was only a small amount but it was there. Within her skin, within her veins, there was a burning desire to inject herself. To take the reaper drug and relish in the feeling. If anything just to stop the burning itch within her that she just couldn't reach. Only the drug could reach that.

Lexa shook her head and tried to calm her breathing and wipe away the sweat that had collected on her brow. _Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop_. She groaned and clamped her hands over her ears. Lexa shook and fell into a crouched position against the wall moaning. _You could have done something… you let them burn… how could you… may we meet again…_

There was no separation between what was real and what was not. Who had she killed and who hadn't she killed?

_No, please… He's my son… It didn't mean anything… I'm sorry… Please don't do this… Don't make me do this… You can stop this…_

They were real… The pleading voices of families of people she had killed. The pleading voice of Clarke as she left TonDC, the pleading voice of Costia as she let the village burn, the pleading voice of Clarke as she left her on that mountain…

"I can't" She growled. Her eyes were scrunched and her arms were starting to give out.

_Yes you can… please, you don't have to do this… show my people that you're not savages… make them stop…_

"I'm sorry"

_No you're not… you let them do this… make them stop… you can't…_

Everyone. Everyone was mixed into one person now. She couldn't differentiate between the voices, between Echo, Costia, Clarke, Anya, Gustus… those innocent people…

"What" She croaked out. Throwing her head back and staring up at the ceiling, "What could I have done?"

Costia's voice broke through. _You could have done something… Mercy… Something Lexa… Something…_

"My people asked for blood. I couldn't deny them this"

_You and your duty… You are too proud Lexa…_

"I am sorry" Her eyes were shining with unshed tears as she pleaded to whoever she prayed was listening, "I am sorry Costia"

_I know…_

"Please forgive me"

Tears were falling thick and fast but only silence answered her. She tried again and her head ached with the voices of people she was sure she would never hear again.

_I have… you know I have… forgive yourself…_

The voices didn't return and Lexa was left truly alone against the cold, concrete floor.

XoXoXoX

Clarke couldn't breathe. The air was stale and she could have sworn the lingering stench of the bodies was still there. They were gone. Moved from that day that now seemed a lifetime ago and yet still refused to leave Clarke alone for a moment of peace.

She shook slightly but still couldn't bring herself to enter the room. So she just stood there watching, looking in, and allowed her gaze to linger on the spot where Jasper and Maya's bodies had been. Holding each other.

A single tear escaped and she brushed it away quickly. It was all her fault. She killed them all, she killed innocent people, and it's her fault that Jasper is dead. Wells died… Finn… Jasper… Her father… TonDC… The mountain men. Gone. All of them. Who was next? Her mother? Bellamy? Octavia? Raven? … Lexa?

"I killed them" She gasped out and finally let them fall… She let the tears fall.

Clarke stumbled forward to the table that was still stretched out across the room. Her foot brushed against the football lying carelessly in her path. She kicked it aside causing a fresh wave of tears to fall as she imagined the child that had so innocently been playing with it completely unaware of what was happening just a few floors up. Unaware that their time was up.

When did Clarke become the person that decides who lives and who dies?

She snorted, "When did we start playing god?"

Footsteps sounded from behind her and she didn't need to look over her shoulder to see who it was. The mountain was empty.

Clarke was still staring at the table when Lexa came to a stop next to her. She looked over the room and seemed to guess at what had been there previously.

"This isn't on you Clarke"

"Really" Clarke could have laughed. If anything about this was funny, "Then who is it on? Because it was me Lexa, it was my idea, and it was me that pushed that lever"

"Clarke" She turned to see Lexa watching her with saddened eyes that flickered over her, "I would have pushed the lever… for you"

Clarke took a shaky breath at the meaning behind the words, "I know, but I would never ask you to"

"I know"

She allowed Lexa to pull her into a tight embrace. Suddenly everything that she had been holding in seemed so overwhelming and there was nothing she could do. Clarke felt her knees give out and Lexa followed her down to the ground.

"Clarke" She tucked her head into the crook of Lexa's neck, "Clarke I'm here. I'm alive"

"Stay that way" She gasped out through the flood of tears, "Please I know you can't promise it but… but please don't go anywhere"

"I'm not. I will stay alive Clarke, for you"

Clarke didn't say anything else and they just stayed there. Crumpled on the ground together, Lexa was holding her and Clarke gripped her arm in a vice like grip. She refused to let go.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy pulled back the tent flap and frowned. Clarke and Lexa had been gone all day and people were either vague or had no idea where they had gone in the first place. He made his way back to the Ark. Maybe Raven knew where they were.

His was just pulling open the door when Echo called to him. He spotted her running towards him looking slightly panicked.

Frowning he met her half way, "What's happened?"

Echo shook her head, "Clarke and Lexa are gone"

"Yes I realised but nobody seems to-"

"No I know" She pulled on his arm, "They have gone to the mountain. Come on we have to find them"

He didn't say anything but instead allowed her to pull her toward the stables. They saddled up two horses.

XoXoXoX

Octavia watched Raven as she worked tirelessly on the radio. Her and Wick had been working through the night and she had no doubt that they would have it working soon. She smiled to herself at Raven's concentration. The small crease in her brow and the short and quiet grunts of protest when something didn't work or was harder to separate.

She was brought out of her thoughts when Raven practically screeched in anger and threw the remained of wiring across the room. She hung her head in her hands and groaned.

Octavia stood up and walked over. She leant against her back and wrapped her hands around her, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"Hey come on… You've got this"

"No" She mumbled into her palms, "It's not working"

Octavia nodded and rubbed her hands against Raven's side, "I know you're stressed but this isn't something that can't wait until morning. It's not like before when we were at war. We actually have the time to spend on things like this now"

"But what if there are survivors? What if I'm just letting them stay there… they could be dying"

"They could be" Octavia agreed, "But your speed isn't going to change that Rae. You need to pace yourself and they just need to hang on a little bit longer"

Raven snorted and sat up straight. She leant back into Octavia's embrace and sighed, closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being held like this for a moment. A moment of calm.

"You think they can hold on?"

"They've lasted this long"

"What if there isn't" She opened her eyes, "Survivors I mean. What if all of this is for nothing and there's nobody out there?"

Octavia moved around to lean against the table and face Raven, "Then I think we'll do what we would be doing anyway. I think that we'll plan and prepare for winter and then we'll endure that before spring comes around and the year will start again"

"Sounds nice"

"Sounds peaceful" Octavia smiled down at her.

Raven hummed in agreement, "Peace is a strange concept after everything we've been through but it sounds lovely"

"I promise that we'll make it lovely"

They watched each other with slight smiles for a moment before Octavia broke it and leant forward, kissed Raven lightly, and then stood next to her and clapped her hands.

"Come on. We have a radio to fix"

Raven laughed and pushed herself to the front of the stool.

XoXoXoX

Bellamy and Echo made it to the entrance of the mountain just as Lexa and Clarke were leaving. Lexa was hugging Clarke tightly and practically carrying the girl out though they both looked up at the sound of them approaching.

Echo raised an eyebrow but it was Bellamy that spoke, "What the hell?"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Relax Bellamy we're fine"

"Relax?" H spluttered, climbing down from the horse, "Relax? We couldn't find you anywhere and then Abby tells us that you're both in the mountain"

Echo walked over to Lexa and pulled her into a hug as Clarke made her way over to Bellamy and he did the same.

She leant into his hold, "We needed to do it"

"Well great. Did you get that out of your system?"

Clarke pulled back and smiled slightly, "Yeah I think we did" She looked to Lexa who was nodding at something Echo was saying, "I think we'll be okay"

"Good"

He couldn't keep the relief from his voice. A part of him feared the mountain slightly and discovering that they had gone back alone had caused so much fear to erupt within him.

Bellamy allowed Clarke to go and speak to Lexa. He approached Echo who was watching them intently, "You okay?"

"I was worried" She admitted and he nodded.

"She's nothing like the girl I left behind… She's not even a girl anymore"

He understood. His thoughts drifted to Octavia and wondered at what point they had all changed from who they were when they first arrived on earth, "No. She's not"

Echo shook her head, "I can't ask her what she's been through, I wasn't there for her, but maybe I can be there from now on?"

Bellamy raised his arm and placed it around her shoulder, "Who we are in war… It's who we need to be to survive and the choices we make are" He paused, "Not ones that we necessarily want to but ones that we understand have to be made… Even if it kills us to make them"

Echo didn't say anything but leant into his embrace watching her sister hold Clarke again at the base of the mountain that had caused so much pain and anguish. Maybe they were better than that, better than the choices they made, and maybe now they could finally move on.

**Awwwww cute, happiness, peace… So obviously this won't last for long :)**

**Review? **

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	23. There's something happening here

It took a month.

Just one week after returning from the mountain for the second time Raven had a break through on the radio. She finally managed to find a frequency that wasn't one they had found before. Raven explained to them all how she originally though it was an Ark station frequency but now she wasn't so sure. Curious, Clarke told her to keep it open and listen out for anybody trying to contact them.

Everyone had accepted that if there were any Ark survivors it was unlikely they had survived this long after the initial landing and even if they had, the chances of them reaching them through the radio was next to nothing. Yet this new frequency had peaked most of the councils interest and even Lexa agreed with Clarke that they shouldn't ignore it.

Raven had been checking for any signs of life on the frequency but ultimately had come up short. Until now.

XoXoXoX

Clarke and Lexa were just coming round when they got word.

Clarke was lying half on top of Lexa and enjoying the feeling of the other girl's fingers lightly tracing her spine when Octavia burst through the flap and threw their clothes at them. If she was anyone else Lexa would have had her head.

"Get dressed. We need you at the Ark, Raven found something on the radio, hurry"

She didn't wait for a reply before leaving and Clarke groaned into Lexa's shoulder.

"We should go"

Clarke knew Lexa was right but that didn't mean she appreciated the early wake up call. They dressed quickly and rushed to the Ark where Octavia was waiting for them outside; she scrunched her nose up at their dishevelled appearance and earned a pointed look from Clarke.

"You said hurry"

Octavia raised her hands in defense and lead the way to the council room where they had moved the radio into the centre of the large table. Abby was standing at the head with Kane on one side and Bellamy on the other. Raven and Monty were sitting closest the door fiddling with the radio whilst Echo was standing next to Bellamy. All of them looked up at the sound of their entrance.

Octavia went to stand beside Raven and Clarke addressed her mother, "What's happening?"

She shrugged and looked to Raven, "We don't know"

"We were waiting for you" Kane added.

"Okay so what's happened?"

Raven sighed and scratched her head, "I heard something, like a voice, and it broke through the frequency. I'm trying to get it back now"

Clarke looked to Lexa to see if she understood and she gave Clarke a brief nod.

"How long will it take?"

Monty shrugged and shared a glance with Raven, "It could vary. We only heard it a few seconds ago, found the right frequency, so we just have to find that again I guess"

Raven grunted in agreement, "We literally just had it… I swear to god…"

A sudden buzzing sounded from the radio and Clarke leant forward in excitement, "Is that it?"

"Yeah just… give me a second"

They all waited holding their breath as Raven tampered with the radio. Clarke's eyes were wide, was this going to be it? Were they finally going to hear from the remaining Ark stations?

She felt a hand grasp hers and she looked up to see Lexa watching her reassuringly. Clarke nodded in appreciation and turned back to watch Raven.

"-ello?"

Monty grinned and jumped in his seat, "That's it!"

The voice broke through again as Raven tried to increase the frequency but Clarke had already heard what she needed to.

"Murphy"

They all looked to her, Raven's jaw dropped and Octavia too seemed to recognise the voice.

"Clarke?"

She grasped the receiver, "Murphy?"

"Clarke it is you!"

Bellamy scoffed and stepped beside her, "Murphy where the hell are you?"

"I left with Jaha" Clarke's gaze lifted to Abby who shared a look with Kane, "We found the city of light"

"A myth" Snarled Lexa.

"No it's not" He paused for a moment, "But it's not good either… Jaha he- he killed a guy and now he's gone completely mad… I'm the only one left but I'm not with him anymore he's gone crazy!"

"Come back then" Bellamy reasoned.

"No I can't…"

Clarke frowned and Octavia took the receiver, "Why not?"

"Jaha is helping her… I have to stay. I have to try and stop him"

Murphy wasn't making any sense and one look at the others told Clarke she wasn't the only one who was confused.

"Stop him doing what? Who's her?"

"A.L.I.E"

Clarke scrunched her nose and took it back, "Who's A.L.I.E?"

"She's a machine… but she can think and she can- well she's dangerous… She's the reason that there was a war in the first place"

Bellamy shook his head, "Murphy-"

"No!" He sounded desperate, "Listen to me! She stole the codes for the bombs, she's the one that fired them, and now, because of Jaha, she has access to another one. She's been watching us, all of us, throughout this war… She's going to kill us all and Jaha is going to help her do it!"

"Wait" Clarke was finally beginning to understand, "Are you saying that she has nuclear bombs?"

"No just one normal bomb but that doesn't matter Clarke! She only needs one bomb… I don't know what the target is but-"

"I do" They all turned to Lexa who had significantly paled as she looked to Clarke, "Polis"

Clarke shook her head, "She's going to bomb Polis but why…"

"Clarke" Bellamy looked terrified, "Mount weather was the only ones with access to that type of weaponry and now they're gone… That's us"

"She's going to bomb Polis and let us take the blame"

Lexa shook her head, "She is going to bomb Polis, let you take the blame, and destroy the alliance"

Abby gasped, "She's going to start another war"

Clarke dropped the receiver and looked around the room at the equally terrified faces looking to her.

"We have to stop her"

XoXoXoX

It took a month.

They had a month of peace. A month to recover, to build a society, and a promise of peace had come with that. With that month.

Clarke thought it was over, they all did, but now here was another problem. Another war for them to fight in. Except this time the stakes were higher and if they failed? They would all kill each other before the year was out.

**Short chapter… The start of the end**


	24. The dead zone

**Prepare yourselves. I'm saying no more. HAVE FUN**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

The plans were set and made.

They would travel the dead zone themselves and then meet Luna at the sea where she would have the boats ready to take them across to where, they hoped, Murphy was waiting for them to arrive. As to what they would do once they reached the other side? That had yet to be discussed and agreed upon.

Lexa had a theory but they would need to wait and see what was waiting for them on the other side first before they could fully plan anything. Murphy had given them a detailed description of the dead zone and how they had passed over it so they were working with that.

Clarke sighed as the last pack was tied against her horse and she looked back on camp Jaha. They were taking as many people as they could spare for this journey. Clarke had wanted Abby to stay but knew they needed her as a medic so it was left to Kane to stay and take charge in their absence.

He was standing at the gate taking the last few orders from Lexa and Abby before they part. Jua was already mounted on his horse along with Monroe. Bellamy, Echo, Octavia and Raven were standing with Monty just outside of camp. He wouldn't be coming.

She made her way over just as Octavia pulled him into a hug.

"Take care of yourself"

He nodded and looked up at Clarke, "Make sure you all come back?"

"We will" Bellamy promised, "We're family remember?"

Monty smiled weakly and hugged him. Raven waited until they parted to pull the boy in for a hug as well, "Don't let the camp go to shit whilst we're gone"

"Can't make any promises"

They laughed slightly and Clarke took the opportunity to have her hug.

"Make sure we have a home to come back to"

He nodded and looked over at all of them smiling before turning back and walking over to Kane.

Bellamy sighed and put his arm around Echo, "This is it then?"

"I guess it is"

The sound of footsteps alerted them to the approach of Lexa and Abby.

Clarke leant against her slightly and tried to ignore the feeling at the pit of her stomach, "We need to leave now"

"I know"

They all mounted up on their separate horses. Lexa and Clarke were leading followed closely by Octavia and Echo.

The journey itself took them back through the Trikru territory. With the horses their pace was fast and they made it to the dead zone within a day. They were a mix of sky people and grounders but the formalities had long since been lost between them.

Jua rode next to Clarke and told her stories of his home and of his mother, Juan, and Clarke found it hard to connect these to the woman she had met back in Polis.

He was young, too young, and Clarke wondered how he had survived the mountain.

"I fight with honour" He puffed out his chest, "The Heda chose me herself"

Clarke nodded and laughed, "You hunted as a child?"

"Everyday"

"When were you chosen as a warrior?"

Jua laughed and tightened his grip on the reigns, "We are warriors from birth Sky Heda"

"Sky Heda?"

He nodded, "You are Sky Heda"

Clarke looked to Lexa who was watching her with amusement, "I don't lead my people"

"Not officially" Lexa agreed, "But Clarke we would both be lying that, if after everything, we said that your people did not follow you"

She supposed they did really but that was a lot of pressure and if there was anything that mount weather had taught her it was that leadership came with sacrifices and they were sacrifices she wasn't sure she was prepared to make.

"What if you're wrong… what if I wasn't born for this?"

"And what if I am right… What if you were?"

Clarke paused and lost herself in thought… What if Lexa was right? Right now they were walking into a second war yet they had only just found peace after the previous one.

"All I seem to do is drag you into my wars"

Lexa shrugged, "I do not believe our wars are so different anymore"

"Because we ride together?"

"Because I love you"

Clarke had to falter. Sure Lexa had told her that she loved her before but the fact that she used it as a reason to go to war and sacrifice her people had Clarke stumbling slightly. When had they become so dependent on each other?

They stopped just at the top of a large sand dune. They couldn't see past and Clarke had to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun.

"Is this is?"

Lexa nodded, "Yes, only one of us has travelled through these lands and come back, he will lead"

She turned to the crowd behind her, "Jua"

The younger guard dismounted his horse and began the trek down followed closely by the other guards. Lexa jumped from her horse and helped Clarke with hers.

"We follow him"

"You think he remembers?"

"He's all we have" She pointed out and Clarke sighed in agreement.

This journey was harder. Moving through the high level of sand was hard enough but they were carrying weapons, food and water as well which weighed them down. Clarke was thankful when the sun began to set because at least this way they wouldn't be traveling in the blaring heat.

Lexa walked with her head held high but so their shoulders were brushing with each step and Clarke smiled lightly.

"What happens after this?"

Lexa looked at her in amusement, "We could go back to Polis, or we could go back to camp Jaha… Or we could go anywhere we like"

"Anywhere?"

Clarke grinned at Lexa's smirk, "Anywhere"

She laughed and they spent the rest of the journey in silence just enjoying the others presence for the little time of peace they had left.

Jua was rounding a corner when he called them to a halt.

"Heda this is it!"

Clarke and Lexa looked at each other and quickly ran to where he was stationed.

He pointed out to the large expanse of land ahead of them and, just as Murphy had said, there were signs of the land having been blown apart, "This is the way across to the sea Heda"

"Can you lead us safely across?"

Jua nodded, "Everyone will have to go in a single file and nobody must break away from my steps"

Lexa turned to the group and shouted the same orders followed by the understanding nods.

"Jua will go first then me and Clarke will follow after" She turned to Echo, Octavia and Bellamy, "You three will be after us and separate the rest of the guard out for the group"

Clarke watched as the group separated out as Lexa ordered and she gripped the commander's hand briefly. Lexa sent her a thankful look before slipping on her commander mask and turning to Jua.

"Lead"

He nodded and took the first step.

Thanks to Jaha and Murphy the way was already paved out for them so, in theory, it should have been the easiest part of their journey. In theory. About half way across Jua stopped in his track and pointed to the ground.

"Their tracks stop here"

Lexa and Clarke shared a look, "Well what does that mean?"

"It means that from here we rely on Jua to know the place of each and every bomb" Lexa said gravely.

Clarke swallowed and nodded to the young warrior.

Jua moved with caution and their time was cut down by half as he poked at the ground before them. It wasn't filling Clarke with reassurance, her and Lexa were too close, and if he did step on a mine then they too would be blown into the air.

He faltered at the point where a metal sign was pointing out and whispered, "The end"

Clarke let out the breath she had been holding and Lexa allowed herself a slight smile. They stood to the side and watched carefully as each of their people crossed over into safety.

The pace was still slow and strenuous but they were safe.

Clarke was helping her mother with the medical supplies when she heard the cry of frustration. She looked up to see one of the men at the back arguing intently with another. Clarke watched him as he seemed to become more and more angered by what the other was saying. Lexa stepped next to her and the three of them watched the man try and writhe from the other's grasp.

"Someone should calm him" Abby warned and Lexa nodded.

"I will go"

"No" Clarke immediately grasped her wrist, "He's one of mine. I'll go"

She had only stepped into the first footprint just as he managed to break away.

He ignored the cries of his friends and ignored the shouts of Lexa and Clarke for him to stop. He raced across the sand and Clarke watched in slow motion as a force blew from underneath him. He was sent flying through the air but the blast caused another mine to go off and before they knew it, in one quick motion, they were all set. The blast forced Clarke backwards but she felt a pair of strong arms hold her by the waist and throw her to the ground and shield her from the blast.

The heavy weight didn't move from her body and she looked up to see Lexa and her mother running towards her place on the ground. Her ears were ringing but their faces were morphed into ones of fear. She groaned slightly, the blast had forced her head to hit the ground hard but apart from that she was relatively unharmed. Clarke pushed the body off of her and turned it over to see the young pained face of Jua.

Lexa and Abby reached her a moment later and she fell into Lexa's arms as they wrapped around her and Abby fell to Jua's other side.

His eyes were focused on Clarke trying to hide the pain that was coursing through his body.

Her hearing still hadn't returned and she was sure Lexa was speaking to her but she couldn't quite hear. Clarke tried to ignore the wound at Jua's side and tried to push aside the amount of blood that covered her and the ground.

Her mother shook her head and she looked back down to see his eyes now unfocused and unseeing. Clarke didn't care for the man that had raced across the sand in a moment of fear. She kept her eyes on the one that had saved her life and accompanied her to Polis not just a month before.

"Come Clarke" Lexa's soothing voice faded in as her hearing returned and she allowed herself to be lead away from the bodies.

Lexa lead her over to the sand dune where nobody was standing and knelt down in front of her. She raised a hand to wipe away the tears that Clarke didn't realise she had even spilt.

"Juan…"

"Will understand" Lexa reassured, "He was a warrior"

He was more than that though and Lexa knew it. He was younger than them and his mother had been so kind to Clarke and now she had been the one to lead him to his death…

"He survived the war only to die because of a coward" Clarke snarled through the tears.

Lexa said nothing and just moved next to her and pulled her close as she cried.

XoXoXoX

Octavia held Raven close to her chest and watched as Jua's body was covered and pulled to the side. She had barely known him yet there was a heavy weight pressing on her chest. Not so much for the lives lost now but at the realisation that this was yet another war and lives would in fact be lost.

Raven held herself against Octavia. She couldn't handle Finn again… Couldn't handle that mountain again…

"Octavia?"

She pulled away and looked down at the mechanic.

"I love you" She whispered, "I'm in love with you… I have been since mount weather"

Octavia's eyes widened and said nothing, instead choosing to lean down and close the gap between them in a deep kiss.

XoXoXoX

Echo found Bellamy sitting alone watching the people cross over. He seemed to be contemplating something and she followed his gaze to the body of the man that was now lying dead. The one that had ran.

She sighed and sat down next to him, "Did you know him?"

Bellamy shook his head, "I don't know many people that are still alive"

Echo nodded, afraid of how true that statement was becoming for them. Bellamy moved back to lean against her and gripped her hand tightly.

She bit her lip and took a deep breath, "Bellamy"

He hummed in response but didn't look round.

"I'm pregnant"

She felt him freeze against her as he turned slowly to face her eyes wide.

**Well… I hope that was fun for everyone… I am saying nothing…**

**Review? Follow? Favourite? **

**You all know I love to hear from you ahaha – Not long to go now**

**If you haven't already take a look at my other fics. The season 1 Clexa fic is finished now and we're on season 2 so feel free to catch up if you haven't already read it :)**

**Thank you for sticking with this mwah**


	25. The ocean

**Well this is a big chapter. Biggest one so far and we have ups and downs of emotions so... Enjoy!**

***Sobs* The end is almost here guys! Don't worry though the final part is a multi chapter and boy is it a big one ;)**

**Can't wait for you all to read it *squeals* It's going to make the mountain look like a walk in the park!**

**Any questions? Ask away and I shall answer**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing *shocked face***

Luna had met them over the other side of the sand dunes under the solar panels. Tents had already been pitched for them as they planned for the next phase of the journey; Crossing the water. Murphy had warned them about the dangers that lurked in the depths but even he couldn't know all the sea's secrets. As it was Luna allowed them to use three of her ships for their crossing but refused to make the trip herself. The words 'suicidal' and 'dangerously idiotic' were mentioned more than once. Lexa had told Clarke that she had known Luna long before the joining of the twelves clans which did explain why she could get away with questioning almost all of Lexa's decisions. Still Clarke could see it was starting to get to the commander and decided to return to the tent and leave the two commanders to sort it out themselves. She was still there preparing her armour which hadn't been worn since the attack on mount weather when Bellamy walked in. He was pale and had a panicked look about him.

"Bellamy?"

He didn't look up but proceeded to lower himself down on to the bed slowly. Clarke frowned and walked over to him, "Bellamy what's wrong?"

"Echo's pregnant"

Her eyes widened and she looked at him confused, "But… What- How?"

"Clarke if you don't know how babies are made by now-"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "I know how babies are made I just meant… How? I mean I knew you two were together but when-?"

"Polis" He said simply, "We slept together in Polis for the first time and then just a few weeks ago but I never thought…"

Bellamy didn't say any more but rather dropped his head into his hands and shook in exasperation. Clarke watched him sympathetically and rubbed his back.

"Don't you want kids?… Don't you love her?"

"It's not that" He mumbled, "We're about to start another war Clarke and Echo's just telling me now that she's pregnant! What if something happens to her? What if something happens to me?"

She nodded and lifted his chin to look him in the eye, "I get it, I do, and I panic everyday that it might be my last with Lexa but… but you can't live like that. I know it's terrifying but what if nothing does happen? What if you both survive this war?"

Bellamy shook his head, "Clarke if we both survive this war then it'll just be another one in a year or two that takes us. Look how quickly this started from the last one. We all thought it would be over after mount weather but it's not… We're in a vicious cycle Clarke and I'm so tired of fighting all the time. I fought for years to keep my sister hidden, it wasn't enough, I fought to get down here to protect her, the grounders came, I fought to protect the 100 and now most of them are dead. When does it end Clarke?"

"Maybe it doesn't end. Maybe Finn was right, maybe this is who we are now, and maybe we just have to adapt to that"

"You can live with it? All the blood on our hands?"

She sniffed and rubbed his back, "No but I can't run from the things I've done and the thing is none of us can. Raven said to Finn that we all have battle scars and you know what? She's right and scars don't ever leave you but it's up to you how you chose to display them. They're either a weakness or strength… This war will end Bellamy, I promise you that"

Bellamy nodded and took a deep breath, "I'm going to be a dad"

Clarke laughed and grimaced slightly, "And Octavia an aunt"

"Octavia and Raven"

They shared a look and burst into laughter, "Oh god. That child has no hope with those two around"

The laughter died down and Bellamy grinned down at her, "You do realise that this means you and Lexa will be aunts as well?"

She faltered and her eyes widened in realisation causing him to laugh again.

"Oh crap I completely forgot…" Clarke looked at him, "Do you think Lexa knows?"

Bellamy shook his head, "Echo was going to tell her now"

XoXoXoX

Echo took a deep breath and watched Lexa walk away from her place next to Luna. It was now or never.

"Lexa"

She looked up and smiled slightly at Echo raising a hand to call her over. She joined Lexa beside the pile of food supplies that were waiting to be loaded on the ship.

"Echo, how can I help?"

Echo took a breath and gripped her sister's arms, "I know that we haven't been back together for long"

"Echo…"

She raised a hand, "I just want you to know how much I love you Lexa"

"And I love you too"

Lexa was watching her with confused eyes not quite understanding where she was going with this. Echo gave her a weak smile and took another shaky breath before blurting it out.

"I'm pregnant"

There was a moment of silence as Lexa continued to stare. She didn't quite react at first but slowly her mouth parted and her eyes darted around Echo's face.

"What?" Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were flickering in a way that Echo come to understand as confusion. Confusion at her own feelings and not quite knowing how to react to a situation.

"I'm pregnant" Echo breathed eyes wide and pleading with Lexa.

Lexa was still in shock. Pregnant. _Pregnant_.

Echo was beginning to get really worried when Lexa finally shook herself from her daze and blurted out, "You had sex with Bellamy?"

"Lexa!"

She smiled slightly and Echo shook her head, "That's what bothers you?"

Lexa shook her head and pulled Echo into a hug, "This is good news right?"

"I hope so" Echo laughed.

She pulled back and looked Lexa in the eyes, "When this is all over we'll have a family again"

Echo smiled and watched as Lexa nodded with watery eyes.

XoXoXoX

Octavia was helping Raven load the radio onto the first ship. They were set to leave any minute and the mechanics work was some of the last parts to be brought up. She let the box drop against the deck just as Raven was walking up holding another.

She was immediately at her side trying to take it from her hands, "Let me take that"

Raven huffed and pulled the box from her outstretched hands, "I told you Octavia, I'm fine… I think I can handle carrying this box"

"Right" Octavia stood to the side and smiled as she placed it down and cracked her back, "Is that the last one?"

"I think so"

She smirked and pulled her close. Raven's arms wrapped around her neck as her hands went to the girls waist and she watched the mechanic bite her lip.

"So we have some time then?" Octavia wiggled her eyebrows causing Raven to snort and shake her head.

"Oh god… You're an idiot"

She leant up to bring their lips together and tightened her hold on the other girl as the hands at her side tightened in the embrace. Their lips moved softly against one another and Raven leant in to deepen the kiss. Octavia smiled against her mouth.

Raven broke the kiss first and Octavia gave her a questioning look. Raven gazed up at her nervously, "I love you Octavia"

"I know" She grinned down at her.

The mechanic shrugged, "I love saying it"

Octavia laughed and closed the gap again. The sound of footsteps caused them to pull away and look over. Bellamy appeared first followed closely by Echo, Abby and Kane. Bellamy smirked and winked at his sister who rolled her eyes.

"Is Clarke not here yet?"

"Lexa and Clarke are overseeing the other ships preparations before boarding" Echo was standing in Bellamy's arms and Octavia frowned. The two were unusually close.

Her brother followed her eyes and sighed knowing he would have to tell her. He looked around at the group and spoke up drawing all their attention, "Echo and I have something to tell you all"

She glanced at him and nodded briefly, "Echo's pregnant"

Raven gasped and lowered her arms to Octavia's waist. Abby smiled and looked at Kane who rolled his eyes but was also grinning at the pair. Bellamy's gaze was on Octavia whose face was scrunched up slightly.

"O?"

"I'm going to be an aunt?"

Echo smiled at her and nodded, "Is that okay?"

Raven was watching her girlfriend carefully but her face was splitting into a huge grin, "Of course it's okay"

She pulled away from Raven and walked over to the two pulling them into a hug instead, "Now it really is a family"

"A dysfunctional family" Raven pointed out.

"Oh yeah" Bellamy laughed.

They were still hugging when Lexa and Clarke finally arrived ready to set sail. Lexa raised an eyebrow but said nothing whereas Clarke was smiling along with everyone else.

"You told her then?"

Octavia leant back and looked between them, "Lexa and Clarke knew?"

"I told Lexa this morning and Bellamy was speaking to Clarke. He was in shock"

Bellamy scratched the back of his head, "Just a little. I'm sorry for not telling you first Octavia"

She waved off his apology, "At least I know now"

The plank was raised as the captain prepared them for setting sail. Abby went off to check the medical supplies with Nyko and Jackson whilst Marcus and Bellamy discussed the route with the captain. Echo and Octavia stood either side of Lexa. They were huddled together over the plans Clarke had drawn out roughly a few days before and Raven was trying to set up the radio and get in touch with Murphy. They had lost contact and it was making Clarke feel nervous.

Clarke turned to where Luna was standing on the shore and waved down at her, "Thank you for everything"

She watched as the grounder raised her hand in goodbye and smiled slightly. Stepping away from the edge Clarke walked over to where Lexa stood and gazed down at the plans.

"Murphy said it wouldn't take long to cross the water"

The commander nodded and Octavia joined in, "Yeah and then we'll find him and get him to explain the whole thing to us fully"

"Hopefully he'll know a way for us to get into that mansion"

"And if he doesn't?"

Clarke shrugged, "We'll find our own way in"

Marcus sidled up to them followed closely by Bellamy.

Lexa pointed to them map where her army was placed, "Marcus will lead the front attack against the mansion to draw its fire and keep all attention to the base"

"Murphy said there are guards around the island-"

"Take the guards out. No doubt there will be more than just guards used to protect the building but we won't know until we get closer" Clarke was slightly alarmed at how comfortable she felt with her stoic expression and war mind in effect.

Lexa carried on, "Clarke and I will lead a small group inside to deal with Jaha and find a way to shut down the mansion"

He nodded, "And who will be in this group"

"Octavia, Echo and Bellamy"

Marcus opened his mouth to say something else but he was suddenly jolted back as they all were. He stumbled slightly and found himself against the floor. Echo yelled out and Bellamy threw himself under her to break her fall and Octavia collided back against Raven causing them both to fall to the floor. Clarke tripped forward but Lexa pulled her against her chest as they fell.

She looked around to see the others on the boat in a similar position. It was only then that she realised what had happened.

"Something hit the boat"

Lexa shot her a fearful look and pulled herself up. She drew her sword and spun around the deck looking to the water for any signs of movement.

"Stay alert" She ordered.

Clarke drew herself up and unsheathed her gun, watching as Octavia, Echo and Bellamy did the same. Abby was looking over form her place at the bow of the boat.

"Clarke be careful!" She nodded and Lexa turned to the captain.

"Stay the course"

He grunted in agreement. Lexa and Clarke walked carefully to the side of the boat.

"We have to protect the ship Clarke"

"I know but how do we fight something we can't see or reach?"

Lexa didn't have a response to that and Clarke groaned. A rippled in the water a few feet from their spot drew her attention and she watched the break in the waves draw closer to their standing position.

"Lexa…"

The grounder followed her eyes and gripped her arm, "Move Clarke"

It was speeding up and nearing their direction, "What?"

Lexa grasped her tighter and yanked their bodies away from the side, "MOVE"

They hit the deck again as a resounding crack echoed from the side they had been standing on. Clarke looked up to see a break running up the side and a building hole where they had been standing previously. She swallowed down the fear and looked to Lexa who was shaking the dizziness from her head having landed awkwardly.

Clarke crawled over to the grounder, "We have a problem"

Echo and Bellamy were breathing heavily and gave her a questioning look to which she turned back to the break, "I don't think this is going to last the whole journey"

"We will have to make it last" Growled Lexa.

"Maybe we could distract it?" Echo suggested.

"How?" Octavia growled, "We can barely see it"

Another thump hit the boat but with less power. Lexa stood up and face everyone, "Everyone with a gun stay on the top deck and keep low everyone else get down to the lower decks now!"

Abby and Jackson complied along with other medics and healers. Soon only Nyko and four other grounders remained along with Monroe and Miller who were following her orders and keeping low. Lexa pulled Clarke into the middle.

"Keep away from the edge"

Clarke nodded. Octavia reappeared next to her having been helping Raven move to the lower levels, "So what's the plan Heda?"

"Keep that thing from destroying anymore of the ship long enough for us to reach the other side"

"What about the other boats?"

Clarke felt her heart stop. They had forgotten about the others.

"Get Raven to see if she can't contact them"

Octavia nodded and a second later she was darting away to tell the mechanic.

"You think it'll work?" Lexa shrugged from her crouched position next to Clarke and grimaced.

"We cannot do much for them Clarke. We have to keep ourselves afloat first"

The boat shook again and Bellamy braced himself against the wooden deck. He raised his gun and raised up slightly to look over the side before ducking back down again.

"We can shoot it when it gets closer. The closer it gets then the better the shot we can get"

Lexa nodded and raised up her bow and arrow looking to Clarke, they shared a look of understanding, and she begrudgingly nodded reassurance to the commander. She called to the other grounders and stepped over to the side drawing an arrow as she did.

Clarke raised her gun and made her way over to the other side with Bellamy and Echo following. They each aimed over and she eyed the dark mass now turning back to face them.

"I see it!"

Lexa looked over her shoulder, "We will get it when it comes through this side. Weaken it your end"

"Stand back Clarke" Bellamy warned.

She moved back in inch and slowed her breathing to calm herself. Aiming the pistol directly at the front of the shape as it came closer.

"Clarke" Bellamy warned.

"I've got this" She snarled back.

He finger tightened on the trigger and she heard the shots fired from next to her. Her finger closer and she released the bullets out.

The mass faded from view and Bellamy let out a cry of joy. She smiled and lowered the gun to her side. Bellamy and Clarke shared a smile. Echo moved away and opened her mouth to call to the commander when a force hit the chip again causing it to topple in the water. It was stronger than before and Echo landed on her back knocking the wind out of her. She cried out in pain and found her vision faded momentarily.

"Bellamy!" Octavia had appeared again. Hearing her terrified voice caused fear to tear through Echo's body.

Ignoring the pain coursing through her head she forced herself to move against the still rocking boat. Looking up she saw Bellamy leaning over the side and horrified to see Clarke wasn't beside him. Rushing over she peered over to see him grasping Clarke's arm. Her terrified face was staring up at them.

"Help" He croaked and she nodded grasping Clarke's other hand.

Together they groaned out as it took their effort to pull the girl back over. Echo fell back and Clarke collapsed into Bellamy's arms shaking. Octavia crouched over them and rubbed Clarke's back reassuringly.

"It's okay. You're okay"

She nodded against his chest. Echo sat there panting for a moment watching the two friends. Clarke pulled back and wiped away the few tears that had appeared on her face momentarily. She looked panicked and whipped her head around.

"Where's Lexa"

Echo's eyes widened and she sat up abruptly turning to the other side of the ship and a horrified expression crossed her face. Lexa and the other five grounders were gone.

"They must have fallen overboard" Bellamy cried. All three of them raced over to look into the water.

Lexa's face was just breaking the surface and she looked panicked. Two other heads were visible including Nyko but the other grounders were nowhere to be seen.

"Lexa!" She looked up at Clarke's voice and kicked closer to the ship.

Echo turned to Bellamy, "We need something to pull them up with"

"Here" They all looked to see Abby and Marcus holding out a rope for them to grasp, "Mum we told you to stay below deck"

"Save Lexa first then have a go at me"

Clarke nodded and took the rope. She leant back over and lowered it down to Lexa. The commander grasped the end and held on to the side to keep her body afloat. She handed the end of the rope to the nearest grounder and nodded for him to climb up.

"I see Land!"

Clarke raised her gaze to where the captain was indicating and sure enough land was there. Relief tore through her but it was replaced a second later when Bellamy cut in.

"Clarke it's back"

Her blood ran cold as the water broke away to reveal the beast moving quickly for the commander and other grounders.

"They don't have enough time" Echo whimpered.

Clarke was frantic now and yelled down at Lexa desperately, "You all have to move now!"

She was looking up at Clarke nodding in understanding. Lexa faced Nyko and told him something who just shook his head and forced Lexa up the rope. She grimaced but climbed up. The first grounder reached the deck and they pulled him over as he spluttered out the water in his lungs. Abby and Marcus pulled him away to check him over and Clarke held out her hand for Lexa.

Nyko was the last to start climbing but the beast was too close and he was too far down. Clarke scrunched her face and tried to lean over further for Lexa who was now reaching for her hand.

Just as she managed to grasp the fingers of the commander the mass charged out of the water its mouth open. Clarke heard a scream from behind her but ignored it and lowered her other hand to pull Lexa up. Bellamy was pointing his gun along with Monroe and Miller. He cried out and open fired as it neared the ship. The beast collided with the side just below where Lexa was hanging. She screamed out and saw Lexa's mouth open in a silent scream and it propelled Clarke to use all her strength to pull the other girl over.

They fell back against the deck with Clarke holding a drenched Lexa tightly against her chest. A fresh wave spread over them as the body of the creature fell back into the water and the boat shook against the force of the collision. Tears were pouring down her face but she ignored them and pressed her lips to Lexa's forehead and tried to ignore her own shaking body.

"N-Nyko" Lexa croaked out.

Clarke looked up to see Bellamy shaking his head solemnly. She gripped the commander tightly, "I'm sorry Lexa…"

The commander didn't say anything but allowed Clarke to hold her and felt the hot tears hitting her own face as they fell from Clarke's cheek, "I'm okay Clarke… I'm okay"

She nodded against Lexa's head but still she didn't let her go. Bellamy was holding Echo in a similar position with Octavia gasping for breath behind them. They were all shaken at the experience and the loss of lives from the grounders. None of them spoke again until they landed gently on the shore.

**OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH We're on the otherside!**

**Let me know watcha think ;)**


	26. We've come a long way pt 1

**Oh wow it has been a while hasn't it? I can explain:**

**1.****Writers block – we all get it **

**2.****Exams are next week so it's been all about the revising**

**3.****My Art coursework is due this week so that's been hectic to catch up with**

**4.****My final pieces are due next week – Again HECTIC**

**5.****It's also been a weirdly emotional day or two and I wasn't really in the mood to write anything but at the same time I needed to get it out? Long story haha I won't bore you all with it any longer**

**That's my excuses PHEW fun few weeks they have been anyway this is the beginning of the end and I'm not going to lie this is really starting to gear up in my head so I hope I manage to convey that to you all? Haha it is all going to kick off next chapter though guys so please be prepared haha**

**I am reassuring you here that to make up for the long wait you are being presented with a long chapter… Hehe **

**I have hell a lot of time on my hands in about two weeks so I have no doubt that the updates will pick up again so just bear with me guys!**

**Also I haven't seen the new Avengers film yet and it really REALLY bothers me**

**Anyway – ENJOY **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing AT ALL**

Clarke pushed back the flap of the tent entrance and sighed softly as her gaze landed on Lexa. The grounder was leaning over the tables her limbs stiff not moving an inch.

As soon as they had landed the temporary war tents had been erected whilst they made the final few preparations. According to Murphy's information the mansion was just above them hidden by the tree line. Lexa didn't like being at the mercy of the building and honestly Clarke wasn't loving it either but they didn't have a choice. Still she couldn't avoid how tense the situation was making her.

Clarke walked over to Lexa and leant her head on the grounder's shoulder. She sighed again and slipped her arms around the girl's waist. Lexa groaned slightly and leant back into Clarke closing her eyes for a moment before lowering her gaze back down to the maps.

"I hate this" Clarke grumbled.

Lexa hummed in agreement, "But it will not last forever"

"No but how many people have to die before it stops? It feels like we just got out of a war and now we're here fighting another one…"

"This will be the last war"

"You can't promise that"

"No" Lexa turned in her arms and gazed down at her gently wrapping her own arms around Clarke, "But I can promise you will never have to fight another one"

"You can't promise that either… Whether we like it or not I am the leader of my people, maybe not officially, but they follow me. You were right, I was born for this, and I think we're lying to ourselves if we say this is the end"

"I also told you death is not the end. My spirit will find you again"

Clarke pushed her head into the crook of Lexa's neck and enjoyed the feeling of strong arms around her and the smell of the woods, their home, "I need your spirit to stay where it is"

"My spirit would follow you anywhere Clarke of the sky people"

She didn't doubt that was true, "Maybe that's what scares me"

"Does death scare you?"

"It used to" She admitted, "But after everything I've seen and after everything I've done it doesn't anymore"

"Death is not something to fear"

"Because it's the only thing we know"

"Yes" Lexa hesitated before carrying on, "but we should not fear the unknown either"

Clarke leant back and gazed up into the watchful eyes, "Why is that?"

"You were the unknown"

Clarke was hit by a wave of love in that moment and she could find no words. Her eyes looked between the emerald pair but instead of speaking she pulled Lexa by the back of her neck to meet her in a soft kiss.

"And now look" She met her in another kiss, "Here we are" She kissed her again, "Together"

Lexa smiled lightly and pulled back taking a deep breath. She gazed over her shoulder at the war table.

"We really must concentrate"

"I know" Clarke rubbed her arms gently, "Talk me through it?"

She indicated to their camp, "Murphy should have met us here when we arrived but he didn't. Raven thinks she will be able to find the bunker and is currently looking for it… Once she finds it then we look for a way to get to the mansion without being spotted from the bunker"

"The army is used as a distraction"

Lexa nodded and pointed to the mansion, "You and I will lead the group inside. We will find Jaha and this A.L.I.E and then shut them down"

"Sounds simple"

Lexa gave her a look, "Plans do not last very long in battle Clarke"

"I remember"

"And it is very likely this one will not last long at all… We do not know the extent of what we are up against here"

Clarke nodded, "I know Lexa but we'll figure it out, we always do, and then we can go home and prepare for the rest of our lives"

Lexa closed her eyes again and kissed the top of Clarke's head, "I like the sound of that"

Clarke leant into the embrace and enjoyed the warmth supplied, "So do I"

The flap was pulled aside again and a gentle nock drew their attention to the entrance. Abbey's voice called to them from outside, "Is it safe to come in?"

She didn't move from Lexa's embrace but called back, "Sure. Come in mum"

Abbey appeared a second later and smiled weakly at the two of them. She walked over and clapped her hands together ignoring Lexa's perplexed look and Clarke's wary gaze, "I needed to speak to you before… Well, before tomorrow"

"Before hell opens up you mean?"

Abbey shot Clarke a look, "Yes"

Clarke's head fell back against Lexa's chest as she watched Abbey look between them trying to find the right words to say.

"I just wanted to say that after everything I am so glad you two found each other… Clarke after everything that happened with your father and up on the Ark, even the mountain, I never thought I'd see you happy again. However, these last few weeks I have seen something I never thought I would" She turned to Lexa, "I am so thankful for how happy you have made her" Lexa nodded in understanding.

Abbey took a breath and gave Lexa an odd look that she couldn't quite place, "During the mountain I saw a side to you I never thought I would see and you protected Clarke despite everything. I realised then what was happening between you two and with how Clarke was after the fall I just knew…" She looked between them with watery eyes, "I just couldn't wait until after tomorrow to tell you how pleased I am and how proud. Clarke I didn't know if you would forgive yourself after what happened in there but somehow you did and Lexa was a huge part of that"

Clarke smiled and pulled Abbey into a tight hug. They held each other close as tears spilled from the older Griffin's eyes and, to everyone's surprise, she pulled Lexa into the embrace as well. Despite everything Clarke couldn't hold back the laughter at the look on the commander's face.

XoXoXoX

They were all still holding each other when Bellamy and Echo entered the tent. The couple were holding each other tightly and smiling softly as the three women parted with Clarke and Abbey both wiping tears away.

The flap moved again and Octavia stepped inside followed closely Raven. The two looked at each other before grinning mischievously at them. Raven wiggled her eyebrows causing Clarke to glare at her, "Don't" she warned.

Raven laughed and Octavia flung her arms around Bellamy and Raven. She looked between all of them standing in the commander's tent and shook her head, "Now we really are one big family"

"One big messed up family" Bellamy smirked.

Echo snorted and raised a hand to her stomach, "A messed up _growing_ family"

Clarke looked between them and realised Octavia was right they were all connected now through relationships or otherwise. Raven nodded in approval, "Until we came to Earth Finn was my only family and now I have all of you"

Octavia kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer, "And now you've got all of us"

"Great" She said sarcastically causing Clarke to laugh and Bellamy to ruffle his sister's hair gently.

Lexa wrapped her arms back around Clarke's waist leaning her head on Clarke's shoulder. She kissed her gently on the neck just under her ear and whispered, "I like having a family"

"Me too" Clarke whispered back as Lexa laughed at Bellamy and Octavia who were now attempting to grasp the other in a headlock. Raven and Echo were sharing bemused expressions.

They forgot for a moment that the Earth was counting on them. That the threat of a new war lay just over the next hill. For a moment.

XoXoXoX

In the early hours of the morning as Clarke lay wrapped amongst the furs flushed against Lexa's warmth a scream cut through the air tearing them broth from the bliss of sleep. They shared a startled look for a moment before dragging themselves from the bed to dress and discover the source of the sound.

Lexa was the first to dart from their tent but Clarke was close on her heels just pulling her blue armour back over her figure. Her gun was in its holster at her hip but she prayed there was no reason to use it.

Bellamy and Echo met them half way their faces too looked panicked as they searched for the source for the sound.

"Who screamed?"

Clarke shook her head, "That's what we're trying to find out"

Octavia materialised from behind the nearest ten followed by Abbey who looked relieved to see Clarke alive and well. Panic flared in Clarke the moment she saw it.

"Where's Raven?"

Octavia's face reflected the fear Clarke felt, "She was searching for the bunker, I stayed with her but Wick replaced me about an hour ago, said I needed sleep"

"Where were they?"

She pointed behind them and Lexa led the way through the sea of tents to the edge of their came where a cluster of trees lay.

Octavia kicked the ground and pushed back a few branches, "Raven?"

The mechanic burst from the dense foliage and through herself into Octavia's arms. Her face was slightly white as she met Clarke's gaze and croaked out, "I found the bunker… and Murphy"

Clarke's relief didn't last as she took in the girl's appearance. Raven sighed and answered the unasked question, "Dead. Beheaded on the floor"

XoXoXoX

The body was moved by Lexa's generals whilst they examined the bunker. Clarke tried to ignore the huge blood stain on the floor but her eyes kept flitting back to the dark patch and she felt her heart rate pick up each time it did. Lexa must have noticed because after the third time her hand slipped into Clarke's for reassurance.

Bellamy was standing to the side peering into the darkened tunnel from a door that, if closed, would blend into the wall. However it had been wide open the moment they arrived and it made Clarke uneasy.

Abbey shook her head, "Someone wanted you to find that tunnel"

"Most likely" Lexa agreed.

Echo nodded and rubbed her stomach, something she had been doing unconsciously since their arrival, "Which means it's a trap"

"Almost certainly" Lexa said grimly.

Clarke closed her eyes; there goes the element of surprise.

"She knows we're coming"

"It looks that way"

"Well then change the plan" Abbey spluttered, "You can't just walk into a trap"

Clarke bit her lip nervously, "It's more like an invitation than anything else… Maybe we should"

"We don't have a choice" Octavia pointed out, "This was the plan"

"The whole point of the plan was to use the army as a distraction!" Abbey looked panicked between her daughter and the commander.

Everyone looked to them and Clarke's gaze fell on Lexa who was gazing into the darkness of the tunnel with hazy eyes. A look she had come to recognise that meant her mind was going over every scenario before she made the decision.

Lexa's eyes returned, "We cannot change the plan now. The army is still relevant, she can't defend the mansion from the outside and from the inside so we need the distraction, and we still need the army"

"So you're going to walk in there with your hands raised?" Abbey asked incredulously.

Lexa shook her head, "I am going to walk in there with my sword raised and kindly separate Jaha's head from his shoulders"

Bellamy sniffed, "Well, that answers that"

XoXoXoX

Raven watched Octavia spread the warpaint across her face. Her movements were careful yet quick as she smeared the black over her eyes in the pattern Raven had become accustomed to and now found a source of reassurance and comfort rather than fear.

"Maybe you can teach me how to do that when this is all over?"

Octavia turned in her seat and smiled, "Of course. Though hopefully there won't be much need for it after today… I know the commander is anxious to put it away"

"Yeah I noticed the bloodlust has diminished recently" She scrunched her nose, "What's with that?"

"I think that's Clarke's doing" Octavia laughed at the disgusted look on Raven's face and indicated for her to move over, "Here I'll show you how to do it now"

Raven smiled and shifted onto Octavia's lap. The younger Blake grasped her hand and pressed into the charcoal paint before raising it to her face. Their eyes met as Octavia guided Raven's hand gently across her face. Raven's breath hitched as she felt the soft skin beneath her fingers and the paint smearing across it. She swallowed and allowed Octavia to drop her hand before leaning down and pulling the girl into a searing kiss.

"Come back to me?"

"Always"

"I mean it" She snapped against her lips in between kisses, "Please don't leave me"

"Never" Octavia repeated the promise she had made what felt like a life time ago, "I love you Reyes"

"Good thing I love you too Blake"

They stayed like that for a few moments longer then Octavia pulled back to gaze up into the other girls eyes, "You know I would never leave you right?"

"But you have to go and I'm a liability"

"You're not-"

"I am" Raven didn't look upset so Octavia let her continue, "I'm still trying to get the feeling back in my leg, it's better and one day I might not even have a limp, but it's there and Lexa needs you all at 110% and well… I'm not. Besides we both know I can do more damage back here"

Octavia scanned her face for any doubt and when she found none a burst of pride split across her chest. She grinned and kissed the mechanic again.

XoXoXoX

Lexa had just finished applying her warpaint and Clarke was watching her solemnly from her place leaning against the table when Bellamy and Echo entered. Echo was wearing a similar uniform to that of Lexa's with her sword strapped to her back and hair pulled in tight braids. The warpaint was smeared across her eyes to two sharp points that ended at her cheek bones. Bellamy was holding his rifle to his chest and was dressed in a guards uniform that Marcus had presented to him earlier in the day.

"We wanted to talk to you"

"Both of you" He added when Lexa looked as though she would leave to give them privacy. She seemed surprised

Lexa nodded and rose from her seat to sheath her sword at her back. Clarke picked up her gun from its place on the table and smiled at the couple reassuringly, "What can we do for you?"

Echo shared a look with Bellamy and they spoke at the same time, "We would like you two to be god parents"

Clarke raised her eyebrows, "Trikru have god parents?"

Bellamy shook his head, "Well not in the way we do but the concepts the same in the caring part for if something happens to the real parents"

"I understand" Lexa came to stand at Clarke's side, "Costia's parents died and another family took her in"

"You want us to look after your child?"

Echo nodded and smiled reassuringly between them, "We might survive today, we might not, but this won't be the only danger we face and I would like to know that this child has a home to go to"

Lexa and Clarke shared a smile, "Of course we would"

"Octavia and Raven have been asked as well but frankly those two… Well I would barely trust Octavia with a pet let alone a living breathing child, she's more of a fun aunt than a serious one"

"What about fun aunt Lexa?"

Bellamy snorted and Echo let out a bark of laughter but Lexa just looked affronted and glared between the three of them mumbling something about how she can be fun. Clarke laughed and shook her head looking to Bellamy who merely shrugged.

"Seriously though I guess I wanted to ask now because I wanted to be reassured that if anything was to happen to me then Echo and the baby would still be cared for?"

She gave him a sympathetic yet understanding look, "You didn't have to ask to know the answer to that Bell"

"I know but I felt better for asking"

"Of course"

He smiled awkwardly and Echo grinned pulling them all in for a hug, "Come on"

All four of them laughed but allowed themselves to be pulled into another embrace by the older grounder. Bellamy placed his head next to Clarke's and whispered in her ear.

"It goes both ways you know… If anything happens to Lexa, I'm here for you"

Clarke allowed Echo to pull back and hug Lexa separately. The two of them began speaking in hushed tones as she turned to Bellamy.

"Thank you but I'm more worried about Lexa. If anything happened to me I don't know if she could take it…"

He smiled and hugged her, "Don't worry Princess… We're all here for her. Abbey practically adopted her yesterday"

Clarke hummed in agreement. A slight shift in her chest at the thought and she felt reassured that maybe if something did happen Lexa wouldn't withdraw into herself all over again and maybe she would open herself up for love again.

The four of them were interrupted as a horn sounded from outside. Lexa's face shifted into her stoic commander mask and Clarke took a deep breath. It's time.

_It's been a long day without you, my friend_

_And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

_We've come a long way from where we began_

_Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

_When I see you again_

They stood in a huddled group separated from the army as it marched forward toward the mansion. Lexa looked on in sadness, for the first time she wasn't the one marching her people into battle and Clarke could see that it was getting to her. She merely joined their hands together and returned the smile she was given.

_Damn, who knew?_

_All the planes we flew_

_Good things we've been through_

_That I'll be standing right here talking to you_

_'Bout another path_

_I know we loved to hit the road and laugh_

_But something told me that it wouldn't last_

_Had to switch up_

_Look at things different see the bigger picture_

_Those were the days_

_Hard work forever pays_

_Now I see you in a better place_

Raven pulled Octavia, Bellamy and Clarke into a tight hug, "Stay safe"

"We will" They all promised and Octavia sealed it with a reassuring kiss. She felt slightly calmer at the gesture but the fear of losing more people still burned.

_How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?_

_Everything I went through you were standing there by my side_

_And now you gon' be with me for the last ride_

Abbey smiled at her daughter, "Be careful Clarke"

"I will. I promise"

She nodded and looked at Lexa who was standing a few paces behind her. Abbey nodded to both of them in farewell, "May we meet again"

_It's been a long day without you, my friend_

_And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)_

_We've come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)_

_Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (let me tell you)_

_When I see you again_

Echo sidled up next to her sister.

"Be careful in there"

"I will"

Lexa turned to her and gave her a weak smile, "You be careful too"

"I will"

_First you both go out your way_

_And the vibe is feeling strong_

_And what's small turn to a friendship_

_A friendship turn to a bond_

_And that bond will never be broken_

_And the love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)_

_And when brotherhood come first_

_Then the line will never be crossed_

_Established it on our own_

_When that line had to be drawn_

_And that line is what we reach_

_So remember me when I'm gone (remember me when I'm gone)_

Abbey turned and waved a final goodbye to the group before leaving with the army to help in the medical tent.

They would meet again.

_How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?_

_Everything I went through you were standing there by my side_

_And now you gon' be with me for the last ride_

Raven separated herself from Octavia and wiped away her own tears.

"I love you Blake"

"I love you too Reyes"

_So let the light guide your way, yeah_

_Hold every memory as you go_

_And every road you take will always lead you home, home_

Echo linked her hand with Bellamy for reassurance and he gave it. He looked down at her and kissed her forehead.

"When this is all over, we'll be a family, all of us"

_It's been a long day without you, my friend_

_And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

_We've come a long way from where we began_

_Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

_When I see you again_

Clarke and Lexa led the way into the bunker their shoulders bumping against each other and she was reminded of a time long ago as they went to war side by side.

_When I see you again_

_When I see you again_

They would see each other again.

"May we meet again"

**Fun aunt Lexa? That should so be made a thing XD**

**That song at the end is 'see you again' from Fast and Furious 7 if you didn't recognise it. I'm not really sure why I picked it because I haven't seen the Fast and Furious films but I love the song and Paul Walker. Also with this chapter leaning so heavily on the family aspect of their dynamic I thought it was appropriate for it :)**

**Let me know what you all think? Please? Haha**

**Also I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter of the whole story so you're welcome**


	27. We've come a long way pt 2

**EXAMS… Fuuun**

**Oh and I just whacked my hand and now my knuckles are bruised… How great is this? **

**The song was used in the season finale of the 100 in season 1. Love this song. The Other side by Woodkid.**

**We're on borrowed time people! Limited chapters left! OMG**

**Disclaimer: I own Nothing**

_I heard a whisper on my shoulder_

_Pretending life is worth the fight_

_Oh, can you hear the song of thunder_

_When fear strangles a soldier's pride_

_And on the surface of the waters_

_Will dance reflections of the fire in the night_

Abby stepped back into the medic tent silently praying to herself that she wouldn't have too many casualties today and praying that none would come from the group entering the mansion. People were still recovering from the mountain without adding to it.

She watched them cover Murphy's body and sighed. Too late for that. The absence of Nyko was weighing heavily on them especially amongst the healers.

_I remember cheering from towers_

_A face is smiling in the light_

_I remember the bells, the flowers_

_Those days are dying in the dark_

Raven returned Wick's weak smile from across the room but frowned once he turned away. Her eyes went back to the empty passage where Octavia and the others had disappeared down. She prayed for their return.

_Boy, I was shaped for the fury_

_Now I pay the price_

_Of the human race's vice_

_And I was promised_

_The glorious ending of a knight_

_But the crown is out of sight_

Echo's hand rose up to meet Bellamy's and he grasped it tightly within his own refusing to let go. He had to protect her now. Echo and his child.

_I'm slowly drifting into slumber_

_'Cause I have lost the force to fight_

_It's like a cold hand on my shoulder_

_I'll see you on the other side_

_And in the arms of endless anger_

_Will end the story of a soldier in the dark_

The tunnel seemed to continue on for miles. It was a narrow dark passage way that smelt damp and hard underfoot despite the occasional squelch that reached Clarke's ears. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness once the light from the bunker behind them faded away but still she found herself gripping the walls for direction. The sound of the others footsteps mixed in with hers reverberated around the confined space and the heavy breathing could be heard as the passage stooped upward.

Lexa stopped suddenly and Clarke had to plant herself against the wall to prevent her colliding with her. Octavia wasn't as quick and walked into Clarke followed closely by a disgruntled Bellamy and Echo.

"Sorry" She gave Octavia an apologetic look in response to the glare she was receiving through the shadows.

"Can you see that?"

Clarke looked up and peered through to where Lexa was staring. She squinted slightly and shook her head, "No. What are you looking at?"

Lexa shrugged and indicated around them, "The light has returned. It isn't complete darkness anymore"

She looked around and was surprised that she hadn't noticed the gradual return of her eye sight. They must be nearing the end of the tunnel. Clarke turned back round to see a dip in the path ahead round a bend.

"Do you think the exit is behind their?"

Lexa nodded and looked down at her, "Are you ready?"

"Yes" Her heart jumped a little but there was a sense of adrenaline rushing forward and Clarke realised with a sickening jolt that she was, to some degree, enjoying this.

Lexa gave her a brief glance before unsheathing her sword and leading the way again. Passed the archway a mental door stood slightly ajar causing her to falter ever so slightly and Octavia sucked in a breath.

"Definitely a trap"

"Definitely" Clarke murmured. Lexa and her shared and understanding look before the commander led them the rest of the way through.

They pushed the door aside and were blinded for a moment by the pristine white marble floor that continued up walls and pillars to the roof. They were in a corridor that led left and right. Right carried up to a bend as did the left however ahead of them a staircase stood large breaking from the wall up and disappearing at a turn to the next level below them.

The lights were on from the stairwell.

Bellamy was the last to step through the door and he pushed the door shut behind them. He stepped to Clarke's left and raised an eyebrow.

"Are we going to keep following the directions that have lead us this far?"

Clarke grimaced, "It might be the only way to find out what is going on here"

"So we follow the lights?"

"Looks that way"

Lexa nodded to the steps, "We should go. They know we are here anyway so we have lost the element of surprise"

Echo and Octavia both unsheathed their swords whilst Bellamy pulled his gun round and Clarke raised her own. She stepped forward and led the way with Lexa at her side and the others following close behind them.

The steps turning down and they passed two other levels before the walls gave way from marble to the fragmented rock that had lined the passage from the bunker. Clarke's feet echoed in the cool air and she stepped off of the last step. In front of her lay another white passage with frosted white glass double doors at the end of the hall.

Clarke swallowed and raised her chin before crossing the space and pushing the two doors wide. Together the group stepped inside the close room. Echo gasped and Lexa tensed to her right alongside Octavia who sucked in a breath.

The small part broke away into a large room that was the equivalent of a large hanger. In the middle sat the missile Murphy had briefly talked about and on one wall sat a line of computers that were connected by wiring to the engine. At the engine stood a man Clarke thought she would never see again.

"Jaha"

XoXoXoX

"Get back!"

Marcus ducked down just in time as another grenade exploded where he and Monroe had been standing a few moments earlier.

The whole thing was ridiculous. Androids were hovering around the air of the mansion yet each one was firing off as many bullets as they could at the grounder army. They had also discovered the land in front of the building to be mined after one group was blown apart upon their approach.

"We should move back" Monroe shouted through the dust, explosions and cries around them.

Marcus shook his head and looked up briefly from the ditch they were crouched in, "Clarke and Lexa need as much time as possible. We can't afford to fall back!"

She nodded and looked to the two grounders behind her, "You heard him"

They nodded and jumped up quickly departing to another sector. Marcus gasped and sat back. This was going to be harder than they originally thought.

"How many droids are there?"

"Currently? Seven. But I saw two others move back to the mansion a few moments ago"

He peaked out again and watched another droid break away from a group of grounders and fly overhead. Marcus frowned and ducked down again to face Monroe.

"Where are they going?"

"I don't know"

She looked over as well and shrugged, "They go and then return a few moments later" Monroe paused, "It doesn't make any sense"

He watched as another set of droids returned causing two more to leave. Marcus followed their path and his eyes widened in realisation.

"They aren't going back to the mansion"

"What? Where are they going?"

He jumped up and darted away from the fighting and back to the beach shouting over his shoulder, "They're going for the boats!"

His breath caught in his throat, "And the medics… Abby!"

XoXoXoX

The old chancellor looked up from where he was standing and smiled at them briefly before turning back to the machine and closing the hood that had previously been propped up.

"Ah Clarke! You're just in time"

They all stepped closer to him as he moved away from the missile and to the computers. He began tapping away looking up at the screens as he did.

She tried to ignore the slight crazed look in his eyes, "In time for what?"

He finally turned to face them and raised his arms in a god-like fashion, "The recreation of the new world"

"Recreation?" Lexa snarled.

Jaha gave her a reproachful look, "We were meant to be the new world. We were meant to care for it and undo all the damage we did before but instead we just created war and suffering… We were given a second chance and look what we've done with it"

"You said sending us down here was our second chance" Octavia pointed out.

"Yes" He smiled at them, "And look what you've done with that"

Clarke didn't miss the disgusted look that he shot at Lexa and Echo. She growled and stepped forward, "You treat them like they're beneath us, like they're savages, and yet you are the one building a missile. You're no better than the mountain men"

Jaha shook his head and lowered his arms to link them at his back, "I survived for a reason Clarke, we all did, and yet you sit here insisting that that they're the good guys"

"I've learnt a lot over the past year and one of them is that good guys don't exist. We all have the capability of being good and evil… Nothing is ever black and white"

"True" He agreed, "I don't believe in good and evil Clarke. I believe that we all have a destiny… Yours was to discover that earth was survivable and mine is to replenish the world so we can start again"

"Destroy it you mean"

Jaha looked perplexed for a moment before he let out a burst of laughter and shook his head, "I'm not trying to destroy it Clarke. I'm trying to save it, before humans destroy it. Can you honestly say that in a few years the grounders won't start another war… that this will truly end? War destroyed our world once Clarke. I'm trying to prevent that"

"No you're not" Clarke stepped forward and looked at him in desperation, "You're going to start a new war"

Jaha sighed and let his shoulders droop. He seemed saddened by her response and turned to Lexa.

"Look her in the eye and tell her you won't start another war"

Lexa narrowed her eyes but didn't drop her gaze from him, "I will not lie. War is a necessity for protecting my people"

He looked to Clarke with glee and indicated to Lexa, "See… She won't stop"

"I'm not asking her too" Clarke ignored the surprised look Lexa and Echo sent her way, "I haven't asked for anything"

"You would let her destroy the world Clarke?"

"Lexa won't destroy the world"

Jaha was standing back by the computers and he seemed slightly conflicted for a moment. Before he could say anything another figure appeared from the door behind them.

"I had hoped it wouldn't come to this"

They all spun to see a brunette smiling at them. She stood politely but her eyes held a glint that sent a shiver down Clarke's spine and she knew Lexa felt it too when she tensed next to her.

"Who are you?"

"My name is A.L.I.E"

Lexa's grip tightened on her sword, "You killed the boy"

The woman sighed and stepped around their group so she was standing directly in front of the commander, "A necessity I am afraid. He knew too much… and he warned you. Not that it matters though because nothing you do here today will stop what is coming" She looked between them with a beaming smile, "You can't stop this"

Lexa snarled and jumped forward with her sword raised. A.L.I.E didn't flinch at all and merely stood unmoving as the blade came barrelling toward her. Instead of slicing through her like they were all expecting Lexa tumbled through the woman and landed against the wall behind her. She spun to face them eyes wide chest heaving.

A.L.I.E smiled and blinked. Clarke closed her eyes in realisation, "You're a hologram"

"I am a machine" She corrected and Clarke nodded.

"You survived the first war"

Bellamy stepped forward and shook his head, "She caused the first war"

A.L.I.E smiled again, "I am afraid that is true"

"Why?"

"Humans have a terrible habit of destroying beautiful things. You have no care for the world around you and you tear through everything as if it is your own… I had hoped that by killing the human race those of you that survived would learn to appreciate these things again but instead you are just as focussed on war as you once were. Nothing has changed. So finally I am forced to come to the conclusion that the human race is not capable of understanding and nor is it capable of change"

"But you're going to tear through the world?" Octavia frowned.

"For the greater good. Before the world can flourish we must destroy it"

"And us"

"And you"

She smiled another sickening grin and Clarke felt her body fill with dread. There was no talking these two around, especially a machine.

"You're talking about cleansing the world" Bellamy said, "But you can't just kill everyone when things aren't going your way the world isn't a machine. It doesn't have a delete button… You can't play god"

A.L.I.E shook her head, "Humans don't learn"

"You're not giving them a chance" Octavia snarled, "You just kill them off the first time. Learning takes time and yes humans make mistakes but they learn from them and that's what's important"

They all nodded but she was just watching them with a raised eyebrow disbelievingly, "It's touching how much faith you all have in the human race but I'm afraid that I don't hold your sentimentality"

A.L.I.E turned to Jaha briefly, "See that it is done" Before turning back to them, "It was lovely meeting you Clarke and you too Lexa, I just hope you_ learn_ from this"

The hologram dissolved leaving them alone with Jaha who was still standing behind the computer. He indicated to the screen and Lexa sucked in a breath, "Polis"

He was going to destroy the capitol.

"You can't" Clarke snarled, "You don't want that blood on your hands"

"Once Polis is gone the clans will be in uproar. They will turn on each other and eventually kill each other off… There's nothing you can do Clarke"

Clarke blinked and raised the gun aiming it at Jaha's head, "There's something"

He paused momentarily then smiled nervously, "You wouldn't"

"Try me"

Their stare down lasted only a few moments. Jaha refused to blink and Clarke wouldn't allow her arm to waver. It was trained on the man in front of her following his every movement as he, in returned, eyed her warily.

Jaha raised his hands slowly in defeat and Clarke nodded, "Walk away from the computer"

He stepped away and instantly Octavia and Bellamy were at the controls instantly trying to shut it down. Clarke lowered her gun and looked to Lexa who was still eyeing Jaha warily.

"We need to work out what we're going to do with the missile after today"

"We should take it back so Raven can dismantle it" Lexa looked to Octavia, "She can dismantle it?"

Octavia nodded in confirmation, "If anyone can it'll be Raven"

Lexa nodded and Echo moved to the door whilst Octavia and Bellamy finished up at the controls.

"It won't get that far"

Lexa and Clarke spun round to see Jaha standing next to the missile. None of them had been paying attention to the man and in their carelessness he had placed himself out of their reach. Lexa snarled and her hand went for the dagger at her side whilst Clarke moved her gun to aim at Jaha but they were too late and he knew it.

Jaha shook his head and slammed his hand down on the control panel of the missile.

Instantly the screens around them buzzed for a few seconds before bringing up the number thirty. It stayed like that for a second before buzzing down to twenty-nine. Clarke's heart dropped.

"We have to get out of here"

Lexa didn't seem to know how to react so she screamed, "Move!"

That got them moving. Echo and Octavia were the first out the door followed by Clarke and Lexa with Bellamy brining up the rear. Clarke ignored Jaha's cries behind them and didn't bother to turn round to see if he was following, her only thought being that they all needed to get out of there, and watched Octavia's heel dispearing up the steps. They clambered up the way they had come.

27…

Clarke could hear the countdown buzzing in her ear but tried to ignore it.

25…

Lexa was keeping up next to her and they shared a panic look once they reached the marble hallway. Octavia and Echo propped the door open.

"Come on we have to go"

20…

Clarke nodded and watched Echo slip out of the door. She turned to Lexa, "We have to warn the army"

The commander nodded grimly, "We have to get out of here first"

Clarke let Lexa slip through the door first before following her.

15…

"Clarke!"

She was halfway out of the door when the cry from behind her forced her head back round. She felt Lexa stop behind her.

Bellamy was being dragged back by Jaha who had his own gun and was pulling the elder Blake back by his collar. Back towards the missile.

"No!" She roared.

10…

She darted back out and towards the two men grappling for control.

9…

"Clarke!"

8…

She ignored Lexa's cry from behind her.

7…

Bellamy was disappearing back down the stairs with a panicked look.

6…

"Bell!" Octavia.

5…

"Lexa!" Echo.

4…

She heard two set of footsteps but didn't turn back.

3…

Her own feet carried her back down the stairs jumping steps to try and reach him…

2…

Bellamy's arm was stretched out next to Jaha's gun that was pointed directly at her.

1…

The gun went off just as a force pushed her back colliding with a body behind her.

Everything went black.

**People are dying… Just so you know… O.O… Saying no more…**

**Let me know what you think?**

**Enjoy!**


	28. We've come a long way pt 3

**Well here we are again. I hope you're ready for the end of this… **

**It's a tad sad.**

**Song at the end is 'To Build A Home' by The Cinematic Orchestra**

**Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Clarke blinked slowly to try and shift the darkness from her vision. There was a ringing in her ears that wouldn't shift and a dead weight across her hips and chest that was dragging her down. Clarke was sure her eyes were open now yet still the darkness wasn't leaving and for one panicked moment she feared her eyesight damaged until she realised her surroundings.

She lifted her hand and coughed slightly to rid her lungs of the dust there. Clarke's vision faded for a moment and dizziness swept across her just for a second as she stood still and waited for it to leave. She must have a concussion.

A groan escaped her lips when her fingers brushed against the back of her head. It stung and there was something sticky oozing onto her hand.

Clarke sighed and attempted to look for any light coming through. There was a gap just ahead of her and she felt some hope spark in her chest at the sight.

"Hello?" She croaked out.

No response. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, "Hello? Help!"

Again there was no reply and she flopped back to the ground with a disgruntled moan. A movement caught her eye and she looked back over to the gap of light, she could have sworn the light faded for a moment, and squinted.

"Hello?"

She heard what sounded like rock hitting rock and insistent coughing before, "Clarke?"

Clarke gasped and laughed for a second, "Octavia?"

"Yeah…" The voice was faint and Clarke couldn't tell whether the girl was weak or just far away, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know" She called back.

"Hold on… I'm coming"

The sound of footsteps approached and suddenly the rock was being moved away and the small gap of light became too much causing Clarke to close her eyes. She waited for them to adjust before squinting up at the figure above her. There stood Octavia looking down at her in concern. She was holding her arm gently against her chest and wincing with each step that causing it to jolt.

It looked as though Clarke had been buried under a large pile of boulders. Above her a light was still fighting to shine down on them but the spark and flickering suggested it would soon give out.

"What happened?"

Octavia brought herself down to her knees next to Clarke's head, "Jaha set the missile off. He dragged Bellamy back, you went after him, Lexa went after you, I went after all of you and I don't know where Echo is. Jaha fired his gun at you" Her eyes went wide, "Were you shot?"

Clarke tried to concentrate on her lower body. The only thing she could feel was the weight pressing down on her but there was no pain, "No… No I don't think so" She paused, "Where's Bellamy and Lexa?"

"I don't know… Bellamy was with Jaha and Lexa…"

"What?" Her memory was hazy. The last thing she remembered was seeing Bellamy being pulled away by Jaha.

"She was right behind you Clarke… I think she caught you as the rocket exploded but I don't know where she is now"

"She can't have gone far"

Clarke looked up and attempted to look around but it was all just rock and dirt.

"I know Clarke and we will find her, and Bellamy, but first we need to get you out of here"

She looked back up to the girl who was attempting to move the pressure on Clarke's body with one hand, "How's your arm?"

"Painful but I don't think it's broken"

Clarke nodded and tried to lift herself up as the rock shifted against her, "I'll have a look as soon as I'm free"

Octavia grunted and pulled it up further, "You're going to have to move before I drop this"

Clarke grasped the side behind her and pulled, ignored the searing pain in her right ankle and leg as she did so. Octavia waited until Clarke was completely free before dropping it and collapsing against the boulders behind her.

"Thanks" Octavia grimaced and propped herself down next to Clarke.

"Here" She ripped some fabric from her shirt and tied it around the girl's shoulder and arm in a similar fashion to how she tied one around Lexa all those months ago. Clarke smiled slightly at the thought of the girl before realising the present situation and a sense of dread rushing through her.

Octavia gasped and sat catching her breath. They leant against one another and Clarke looked down at her ankle, lifting the leg of her trouser to look at it.

"Is it okay?"

Clarke shrugged, "Looks swollen. I don't know whether it's adrenaline but it doesn't hurt enough to be broken"

"Could be adrenaline"

"Could be"

Clarke looked up, "We can't sit here Octavia we have to find the others one of them could be shot" Please don't let any of them be shot.

"Agreed" She pushed herself up from the ground and helped Clarke up a second later, "I think we're on the second level… We should find the stairs"

Clarke nodded and they clambered up and through the next section of rocks. The corridor had been completely torn apart and parts of what looked like the marble from upstairs was scattered around. Clarke wondered how far the damage stretched on for.

They pulled themselves up onto a particularly large pile of rocks that allowed them to see across the damage. She surveyed the destruction with a heavy heart and whimpered slightly.

Octavia must have hears because she grasped Clarke's arm and said, "We'll find them. I promise"

She nodded and was about to go back to see if they had missed anything when a movement from the corner caught her eye. She turned back and narrowed her eyes and watched a figure slump down against the rock.

"There" She pointed and Octavia's eyes widened.

They jumped down together and raced over as quickly as they could over the broken up terrain and their own injured hindering their movement. Clarke slid down the gap to see Lexa leaning back against a large slab of marble seemingly unconscious.

"Lexa!"

She heard Octavia rushing down behind her but concentrated on the unconscious grounder in front of her. Clarke lifts her hands to either side of Lexa's face. There's blood covering her usual features from a head wound and that looks the worst of it until Clarke's gaze lands on Lexa's stomach. Thick blood is seeping from a wound and she realizes with horror that it's a bullet wound. Jaha shot Lexa.

"Lexa" She shook the girl lightly trying to wake her up, "Lexa…"

Octavia knelt down at Clarke's side and lifted up some torn of fabric, "Clarke you need to cover that"

"Right" She shook her head. She wasn't thinking straight, "I need to see if the bullet's still in there"

Pulling Lexa forward slightly she looked down her back see no sign of an exit wound. Clarke gently leant Lexa back against the slab and took the fabric from Octavia's hand, "The bullet is still in there but I can't do anything about it down here"

Octavia nodded, "We need to get out of here"

"Clarke…" She looked down to see Lexa's eyes flickering open and Clarke let out a relieved breath, "Clarke?"

"Yeah" She grasped Lexa's hand, "Yeah I'm here"

"W-What- What happened?"

Her eyes were glazed over slightly and Clarke knew she must have a concussion. Clarke pressed the fabric against the bullet wound causing Lexa to flinch and pull away into the rock face.

"Jaha blew the bomb" Octavia said grimly looking around them, "Still don't know where Bellamy, Jaha and Echo"

"I don't care about Jaha" Lexa snarled, "But we must find Echo and Bellamy"

She attempted to stand only to find resistance in Clarke as she pushed the girl back down. Clarke fixed her with a stern glare causing her to stay put this time.

"You're not going anywhere. That bullet is still inside you and you really need medical attention so we're getting you out of here first"

Lexa growled, "My sister could be injured Clarke"

"But she could also be fine. You on the other hand could bleed out before we get you to safety"

Lexa sighed but didn't complain as Clarke and Octavia both took an arm to raise her up to a standing position. It was slow work but they managed to clamber back up to where they had stood moments before.

"Which way?"

Clarke frowned. She couldn't make out where they were, everything was too torn up to tell things apart, and she realised that this could take a lot longer than they first thought.

Suddenly Octavia pointed, "Look. It's Echo!"

Sure enough the other girl was making her way over the rubble towards them. Clarke looked her over seeing no injuries and guessing that she had avoided the blast.

She ran towards them and looked Lexa over eyes wide and panicked, "Are you okay? What happened? Where's Bellamy?"

Clarke handed Lexa over to Echo so she could kneel down and get a closer look at the wound, "Lexa was shot, Jaha dragged Bellamy back, and we don't know where they are"

Echo looked at Clarke eyes wide and panicked. Lexa raises her hand to Echo's shoulder reassuringly, "We'll find him"

Clarke tide the fabric and stood, "Octavia, Echo, I need you to get Lexa out of here and find my mum. I'll go find Bellamy and Jaha"

"What-"

"No!"

"Clarke"

She closed her eyes and shook her head, "I'll be fine but Lexa could bleed out, Echo she needs you with her and Octavia you're too injured to help"

Octavia scowled but didn't protest. Lexa however pulled away from the two holding her up, "I refuse to leave you here"

"You're not" Clarke stepped forward and held Lexa's face in her hands, "I'm telling you to go so you'll live. I'll be fine Lexa"

She shook her head and opened her mouth to protest but Clarke cut her off by pressing her lips to Lexa's in a searing kiss.

"Just go"

Lexa looked as though she still wanted to protest but her face was paling and Clarke knew she was losing blood too fast. She shot a pleading look at Echo who seemed conflicted but nodded anyway.

Both Echo and Octavia grasped Lexa tightly and dragged her away towards the entrance. Despite Lexa's tired state she still fought against the two girls to try and get back to Clarke. Clarke raised a hand to her mouth and pushed back the tears that were threatening to spill. She was so tired of all the blood and pain.

Clarke wiped her eyes and looked to the ground where a glint caught her eye. Kneeling down she picked it up and grimaced at the sight of her gun.

Time to find Bellamy and Jaha.

XoXoXoX

It was chaos. Three of the healers had been caught in the blast so Abby was left with a select few and those in training to help her deal with the wounded. She was busy rushing between beds and shouting orders when Monroe came rushing in.

"Abby! Abby! I need Abby!"

She looked up from the injured grounder and rushed over to the panicked girl, "Monroe? What is it?"

She pointed over her shoulder, "Kane is injured"

Her eyes widened and Abby looked to one of the healers, "Get me a bed and take over here"

She didn't wait for a reply before she was following Monroe out of the tent. She led her down to the bunker where Kane was laying on the ground unconscious. His stomach was a mess and Abby felt her heart stop momentarily. She bent down to his side and Monroe looked up at her with a terrified look.

"You can help him right?"

Abby open and closed her mouth. She blinked away burning tears and shook her head. There was nothing she could do.

Monroe gaped at her and looked down at Kane. She shook her head, "No… There has to be something-"

Abby put her hand to Kane's neck. There was no pulse, "He's gone Monroe. I think he's been gone for a while…"

Monroe burst into tears and pushed herself away from the body. Abby's hands shook and she furiously wiped away the tears. A voice tore her eyes away causing her to look up. Ahead of her two figures were pulling a third from the rubble of the building. Abby gasped and jumped up moving quickly towards them.

As she neared them she realised it was Echo and Octavia. She pushed herself to run faster at the realisation and cried out, "Clarke?"

Octavia turned round, Abby could see the blood on her body, and shook her head. Abby neared them and gazed down at the body to see Lexa lying there unconscious.

"Jaha shot Lexa. Clarke is fine but she's gone to look for Bellamy and Jaha"

Abby nodded and looked to Echo who was attempting to lift Lexa, "We need to get her back to the tent"

"Will she be okay?"

"I don't know. She's lost a lot of blood"

Octavia stayed beside the rocks and Abby looked back briefly calling to her, "Octavia you need to get that arm looked at"

She shook her head and made to move back the way she came, "I need to find Clarke and my brother"

Abby nodded and let her go.

XoXoXoX

Clarke stumbled slightly but pulled herself up straight. She felt slightly numb moving through the rubble looking for any sign of Bellamy or Jaha.

She squinted against the darkness for any sign of movement, "Bellamy?"

Nothing.

"Bellamy!"

Clarke sighed and jumped down.

The sound of rock tumbling drew her attention. She moved slowly and carefully before lifting herself up and looking down where there was what looked like a crater surrounded by rock. There sat in the middle was Jaha with Bellamy lying at his feet. He didn't look up as Clarke gasped and slid down to crouch beside Bellamy. He merely sat there with his head in his hands.

Clarke shook Bellamy gently, "Bellamy… Bell…"

He was unresponsive and Clarke frowned, "Bellamy?"

"He's dead"

Clarke looked up at Jaha who was watching her now and she shook her head, "No…"

"He was losing too much blood, I tried to save him, but there was nothing I could do. He's gone Clarke"

She looked down at the eldest Blake lying in front of her. She gasped out tears, her eyes already raw from tears, and shook her head violently in disbelief. His eyes were closed but there was no mistaking the stillness of the chest. Clarke gasped through the tears that were now flowing freely. How was she going to look Octavia in the eye after this? Echo either? Oh god… Echo… Pregnant Echo… With Bellamy's child… The child that would no longer have a father… Never even know their father…

"I'm sorry Clarke"

Her head whipped up and Clarke looked him in the eyes. She shook her head and glared at him, "You're not sorry. You've never been sorry… All of this is your fault Jaha, do you even feel guilty?"

Jaha just sat there watching her and she carried on, "You're the reason my Dad's dead, you didn't have to float him but you were too scared to admit he was right, and then you had me locked up. You're the reason the 100 were sent here… You're the reason for all of this shit. You killed 320 people on the Ark when you didn't even need to because you were too stubborn to listen to my mum when she told you earth was survivable"

He shook his head, "Do you really believe any of that Clarke?"

She glared at him and he shrugged, "People were always going to be sacrificed Clarke. It's no different than the decision you and Lexa made in TonDC nor you killing those people in mount weather… Don't you see? The 100 were a sacrifice that had to be made for the survival of the Ark"

"I do see that but now you're here plotting to destroy the human race… How is that any better?"

"Do you really think that after everything we've done that we deserve to survive?"

Clarke frowned, "I don't believe in any of that crap. I don't believe that we have a destiny or that we survive for a reason. I think what happens in our life is down to what we do with it"

"I survived for a reason" He insists, "I defied death for a reason"

"No you survived because you managed to get to a rocket and used it to propel yourself to earth… There was no greater purpose there"

Jaha merely smiled, "There was a greater purpose. There is always a greater purpose… I am meant to survive Clarke. I have a destiny"

He raised his left hand and she saw for the first time that he was holding a gun. Clarke smiled and closed her eyes briefly.

"Are you going to kill me now?"

"It looks that way doesn't it?"

Clarke tightened her grip on her own gun and met his gaze, "I have lost so many people…"

"So have I"

Clarke swallowed and looked at the man in front of her who looked just as tired as she felt, "Don't you want it to end? All the pain? The suffering?"

Jaha smiled, "Don't you?"

She paused. Did she want it to end? She was so tired of watching people die. Bellamy was dead, Lexa was shot, could be dead, and she had no idea what was going on up at the surface… Her dad, Wells, Finn, Jasper…

"No" Clarke realised, "No I don't"

"Why?"

"Because despite everything I still have things to live for. I have my mum, I have a family, I have Lexa… and all of them need me just as much as I need them. They're all worth living for"

Jaha nodded in understanding. He lowered his gun and threw it to the side before looking back up at her, "Please shoot me"

Her eyes widened and he gave her a sympathetic look, "I don't want to kill people Clarke. All I ever wanted to do was save them and it seems I lost myself along the way… Before I came down here I found peace with myself and I was ready to see my son again. I should have died then but I didn't… Now I am. Now I'm ready"

Clarke looked at her gun then looked back up at Jaha, "Please Clarke"

She nodded, tears still falling, and aimed the gun. Jaha sighed and leant back, "Make it quick"

Clarke pulled on the trigger gently and said, "Tell them I'm sorry"

He nodded before his head was forced back against the rock and he slumped down unmoving next to Bellamy. Clarke's tears came thick and fast, she threw herself back and chucked the gun away from her suddenly feeling sick with the weight of it in her hand.

She just sat there crying until she too lost consciousness.

_There is a house built out of stone_

_Wooden floors, walls and window sills_

_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust_

_This is a place where I don't feel alone_

_This is a place where I feel at home._

Abby looked up from the commander gasping away tears as the girl's blood covered her clothes. Her gaze landed on Echo who was pacing nervously a few feet away.

_And I built a home_

_for you_

_for me_

Echo suddenly looked up and a moment later Octavia and Monroe appeared carrying an unconscious Clarke between them.

"Oh god"

She rushed over instantly.

_Until it disappeared_

_from me_

_from you_

Octavia looked up from the bed and met Abby's eyes.

"Where's Raven?"

_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust..._

"Bunker" Was all she gave before Octavia was gone and leaving her with Clarke.

_Out in the garden where we planted the seeds_

_There is a tree as old as me_

_Branches were sewn by the color of green_

_Ground had arose and passed its knees_

Raven wiped away tears. She looked up at the sound of someone entering the tent and watched Octavia stare down at Wick's body.

Raven stood up and walked over to Octavia who was blinking rapidly.

"Bellamy's dead"

_By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top_

_I climbed the tree to see the world_

_When the gusts came around to blow me down_

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me_

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me..._

Raven just held Octavia as the girl broke down in her arms whilst trying to fight off her own tears.

_And I built a home_

_for you_

_for me_

Echo watched Abby work on Clarke fighting off tears. Monroe stood next to her and raised a hand to her shoulder.

"Echo…"

_Until it disappeared_

_from me_

_from you_

Echo looked up. Monroe was watching her with a mix of sympathy and sadness.

"Did you find Bellamy?"

She nodded.

_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust..._

And Echo knew.

**Is it wrong that I enjoy writing chapters like this?**

**I am so sorry.**

**Review? Do I deserve it?**


	29. We've come a long way pt 4

**Just a short one… I'd say there's one, maybe two chapters left.**

**Do you guys want an Epilogue at the end?**

**Let me know**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Clarke felt numb and she liked it. There was no pain here. Physical or otherwise. She looked around but it was just a dense fog, a cloudy mass in her mind, and she waded through it searching for something.

It was thick and never ending. Occasionally the cloud would part long enough for her to see ahead but still there was nothing there. Was this her mind? And empty space?

There was nothing.

"Clarke"

She spun round and gasped. Her dad was standing there smiling at her. Clarke shook her head and took a step back.

"You're not real" She swallowed the lump in her throat, "You're dead"

"True" He nodded and opened his arms as if looking for a hug, "But that doesn't mean I'm not real"

She smiled and threw herself in his arms. They tightened around her and Clarke sighed into the embrace enjoy the comfort it brought her.

"Why are you here?" She mumbled into his chest.

Jake leant down and kissed the top of her head, "Because you need me kiddo"

Clarke pulled back and looked up at him, "Are you really here?"

"If you need me here then yes… Yes I'm really here"

Clarke stepped away from him and looked around.

"Where is here?"

Jake shrugged and turned his head around as well, "Wherever you want here to be"

Clarke sighed and shrugged. She couldn't remember anything or why they were here in the first place let alone where she wanted to be…

"Clarke"

She looked up and watched as Abby came and stood by her dad, both of them smiling, and held out a hand to grasp Clarke's cheek, "You're alive"

Clarke frowned and looked between them both, "I don't understand… If you're here, are you dead too?"

"Not necessarily. I'm here if you want me here"

"So dad said…" Clarke stepped away from them both with eyes narrowed in confusion before remembering something and looking to her mum in panic, "Lexa… Is she alive?"

Abby just carried on smiling and nodded to something over Clarke's shoulder, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Clarke spun around and laughter in exasperation. There stood Lexa with her hands joined in front of her, hair falling in braids, no war paint and thick leather. A large smile was across her face. She looked more peaceful than Clarke had ever seen her.

She darted forward and forced herself into the girl's arms. Lexa pulled her into a tight embrace and she pushed her head into the girl's neck breathing her in and taking reassurance in that. Lexa tightened her arms and Clarke pulled her closer.

"You're alive" She breathed.

"So are you" Lexa pointed out earning a light push from Clarke but she laughed anyway.

Clarke smiled up at her. Lexa placed her palm against Clarke's cheek and she leant into the touch closing her eyes.

She opened her eyes after a moment and looked around to see both her parents watching them with love in their eyes. Clarke felt a burst of happiness in her chest and smiled between all of them together.

"Can we stay here forever?"

Lexa lowered her hand to Clarke's back reassuringly whilst Abby gave her a sympathetic look.

"I don't think that's how it works kiddo" Jake smiled at her weakly.

"But you're all here and you might not be when I go back" Clarke looked to Lexa, "You might be dead"

"I might be… but what if I'm not?"

Abby nodded, "You want to put Lexa through that? Me through that?"

"Remember what you said to Jaha" Jake finished.

Clarke nodded, understanding, and stepped away from Lexa. She looked at them, "You're not real"

She smiled, turned around and, taking a deep breath, closed her eyes.

XoXoXoX

Clarke blinked through the haze and heard distance voices talking.

"…waking up…"

"…get Abby…"

"Raven…"

She opened her eyes to see Octavia staring down at her. She frowned and the other girl stepped away with a blank expression.

"Raven's gone to get Abby. Just stay still until then"

Clarke blinked and looked around slowly. They were back at the Ark in the medical bay, it looked empty aside from her.

"What happened?"

"Not sure. I just found you next to Jaha's body and Bell-"

Octavia cut off with wide eyes and bit her tongue. Her eyes welled up slightly before she pressed against them, refusing to cry, and smiled down at the girl, "Well I got you out of there anyway"

Clarke didn't get the chance to reply because suddenly Abby was there checking her vitals and Raven was at Octavia's side watching them. Her mum wouldn't meet her eyes and there was a sadness sitting in the other two girl's.

"How long?"

"A few weeks" Octavia spoke, "We got you back here quickly when we realised you weren't going to wake up anytime soon back at the mansion"

Clarke nodded and looked to Abby who smiled and rubbed her head soothingly, "You had a bad concussion and a broken ankle so don't be surprised if you struggle to walk over the next few weeks but apart from that you're just tired"

She thanked her mum and all three of them sat down with the promise of now answering her questions. Clarke sighed and sat up straighter at the pillow looking between the three pairs of eyes watching her.

"What happened after the explosion?"

"It was hectic" Abby answered, "The blast blew all of the levels out and we had no idea where any of you were but we couldn't afford to look for you because so many people were injured on the surface. Marcus was caught in the blast and died before I could reach him… Raven and Wick were trapped in the bunker for hours before we got them out but Wick had been crushed by the rubble… He didn't make it either"

Clarke nodded and looked to Raven who was watching Clarke intently, "Are you okay?"

The mechanic nodded, "I'm fine. I was shocked at first I guess"

Clarke smiled and then looked back to Abby, "After that?"

"Octavia and Echo appeared dragging Lexa behind them…"

Silence fell amongst them and Clarke felt a tear escape. She looked at her pleadingly, "Please tell me…"

"She's alive Clarke"

"But?"

Abby and Octavia shared a look, "She left"

Clarke's eyes widened and more tears fell, "What?" She spluttered out.

"You were taking a long time to wake up, if at all, and the clans were demanding her presence in Polis. She didn't want to leave but after a while she didn't have a choice"

Clarke looked down at her hands and sniffed, "Is she coming back?"

"We don't know… Echo went with her"

Her eyes widened, "Echo… Is she-?"

"Devastated?" Octavia nodded, "She didn't speak until Lexa said she was leaving and even then all she said is that she was going with her"

Clarke nodded and continued looking down as more gentle tears fell.

Abby sighed and leant forward to place her hand on Clarke's, "Clarke-"

She pulled away from her mum's touch and took a deep breath, brushing the tears away, and sending them all weak smiles, "I'd like to be alone"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah Clarke, I mean you just woke up" Raven pointed out.

"Leave me alone" She whispered.

"Clarke-" Abby protested.

"Leave me alone!"

They filed out of the room as she pressed herself back under the covers and succumbing to sleep.

XoXoXoX

Abby spent her time flittering between small emergencies and Clarke's bedside. Every time she visited the girl was asleep though she suspected half the time it was being faked. She knew Clarke didn't want to see anyone but she had to make sure her daughter was eating; She wasn't and it was worrying Abby. She just prayed that Lexa returned soon.

The truth was they didn't know if she would return. Lexa had been so unlike herself before she left and Abby was fearful that she wouldn't return just down to the fear of what she would find when she did. Echo was a completely different story.

Abby sighed and sat herself next to Clarke's bedside. She only needed to look at her breathing to know she was awake.

"I know you're awake Clarke"

No response.

She sighed again and continued, "I just want you to know that whenever you're ready we'll all be here for you but you do need to eat some I'm going to leave the food here and I just pray that when I come back it's gone. I'm not asking you to get up and walk about but please Clarke… Just eat?"

She left the food and stayed for another half hour before accepting that Clarke wasn't going to speak and left the room.

Abby returned that evening before turning in for the night and found an empty tray.

XoXoXoX

They carried on like that. Abby would sit down and talk to her daughter about the day to day running of the camp now. She would fill her in on the most recent hunting trip or what a visit to the mountain had brought back. Then she would bring food and return later that night to find the food gone.

But still Clarke didn't speak.

XoXoXoX

Nothing changed for weeks.

Octavia had developed a coping method. She would train until exhausted then return to Raven every night after dinner. Some nights they would just hug and then fall asleep straight away but other nights, when she was feeling particularly raw, she would cry herself to sleep wrapped in Raven's arms.

Some days Octavia would wake up numb and go through her routine.

Some days she would wake up thinking that she was starting to move on…

Then she would wake up with so much sadness in her heart that there was nothing she wanted to do. On those days Raven would kiss her and let her lie there for the whole day.

But there was the occasional day when she awoke to find her chest burning with hatred. So much hatred for everyone, sometimes even Raven, and she hated it. She hated hating everyone.

She hated Abby for not being able to save him, hated Lexa and Echo for leaving, hated Raven for understanding and especially hated Clarke… Clarke who was there, Clarke who could have done something, Clarke who even now was hiding away from all the pain that Octavia herself couldn't run from…

And Bellamy. For leaving her with all of this.

Damn you Bellamy.

XoXoXoX

Raven threw the wrench down on the desk and hung her head. It was days like this when she was alone in the work room that Wick's absence weighed heavily on her.

He had been so kind to her. Been a friend after Finn and now he too had gone the same way.

She pushed herself away from the table and made to leave the room. She couldn't be here anymore.

Raven walked outside and watched the grounders move around camp, helping with the hunt, and smiled to herself. Bellamy would be proud. After everything their people were still together. Still hanging on.

Lexa would be back, of that she was sure, she loved Clarke and her people meant the world to her. She wouldn't leave them.

XoXoXoX

Abby opened the door to the medical ward. Clarke was still lying in the exact same position and she internally groaned.

"Come on Clarke" She placed herself down on the chair she had become accustomed too over the previous few weeks.

"Work with me here"

Abby lowered the tray on the bedside table.

"Look, I know you're going through an internal hell right now but we need you… We always need you. Lexa will be back and when she does you can slap her or whatever else you want to do but until then please just try… Try and help us all? Octavia needs you, Raven needs you and I need you. We love you Clarke. We're all here for you"

She got up and left after that.

The food was gone when she returned later.

**Let me know about the Epilogue?**


	30. There is no goodbye

**So this is it! Epilogue will come after but this is the finale for this OMG **

**So much emotion on finishing this haha**

**I'd like to thank all of you that followed, favorited and reviewed over the course of this fic. I have loved writing it and it's been amazing to see all of the love and enjoyment I've shared with you all!**

**So thank you again and I look forward to showing you the epilogue. I'm going to jump quite far ahead in the Epilogue so humour me yeah? Saying no more. Enjoy ;)**

**Disclaimer: No owning**

Octavia slid into the chair next to Raven and smiled. The mechanic looked up at her entrance and raised an eyebrow.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Octavia sighed and rubbed her temple, "I know… I know I've been all over the place lately-"

"Hey" Raven put her hand on Octavia's knee and ran her thumb over it gently, "I know how hard it's been for you. You needed time and I told you I'll be here for you whenever you need me"

"I need you" She confessed.

Raven nodded and pulled the other girl into a tight hug, "I'm here"

Octavia tightened her arms and pushed her head into the crook of Raven's neck, "I miss him so much Rae"

"I know" She kissed her cheek, "I do too"

"He was my only family"

Raven shook her head, "He told me, after Finn, that we're all family now. That the 100 was my family. Before we went into that battle we all stood in that tent declaring how we're family and that hasn't changed O"

She sighed and kissed Raven quickly, "I appreciate that… You're amazing, you know that?"

"Well yeah" Raven grinned causing Octavia to smile as well.

"I'm sorry I haven't been much help to you"

Raven laughed and pulled back, "I think that's understandable"

Octavia shrugged, "Maybe but I haven't treated you well and now I'm going to make it up to you"

"Anything?"

"Anything"

She sent the mechanic a wink causing her to smile brightly and link her arms around the girls neck. Raven hummed and stood up so she was standing over Octavia. Leaning down she placed her lips next to Octavia's ear.

"I can think of something" She whispered huskily.

Octavia swallowed, "Really?"

"Yeah" Raven leant back and turned around. When she faced Octavia she was holding a satellite dish, "Help me fix this"

She sat open mouthed looking up at her and laughed nervously, "You're serious?"

Raven shrugged, "You said anything"

She turned away from Octavia and the Blake girl groaned crossing her legs, "That I did"

XoXoXoX

It took two months for Clarke to finally leave the comfortable silence of the medical bay. It took another week for her to leave the Ark and another for her to leave camp. In fact it took almost a year for her to string a sentence together after the discussion in the medical bay. Abby was worried, Octavia was worried, Raven was worried but Clarke was dealing with it on her own. She wanted to deal with it all on her own.

A year. One year to the day Clarke had woken up. Over a year since Lexa left her there to heal on her own.

Clarke sighed and pressed back against the tree. She was sitting at the edge of the forest looking down at the lake below her at the bottom of the hill. Clarke had discovered this spot on her fourth trip out of camp Jaha and had returned here ever since. Some days she would bring her drawing equipment, some days she would bring a book and some days she would just sit here and sleep.

Today was one of those days it appeared.

The lake's surface was calm but Clarke felt anything but. The numbness had given way to anger and sadness a long time ago; she just didn't know how to deal with it.

Some days she felt angry at Lexa. Angry that the girl had left her no matter what her own feelings were.

Other days she felt sad. Sad that Lexa was just as lonely as she was in Polis. Sad that they weren't together.

Lexa.

The one person who made her feel a whirlwind of emotions and yet ease them at the same time. Someone that was both the storm and the calm.

Clarke groaned and looked down at the page in front of her. Half of the landscape in front of her was printed across unfinished.

Looking up at the lake again Clarke's gaze flittered up to the shadow of the mountain just beyond the treeline. Winter had come and gone as had spring and now even summer was on its way out with a just a few select days left of sun Clarke was determined to enjoy them.

The sound of footsteps from behind her alerted Clarke to another presence but she didn't bother turning around. They were at peace and whoever they were the steps were purposefully loud. She was meant to be aware.

They stopped at Clarke's left and sat down next to her looking over the lake as well.

"You're late" She sniffed.

"I am"

"Over a year late"

Lexa sighed and looked up to meet Clarke's eyes, "I know…"

"How did you find me?"

"They said you had been disappearing from camp" She shrugged, "I found this place a few years before you arrived. There are several spots you could have been"

"Right"

"Clarke I-"

"Explain" She cut off. Clarke's face remained passive whilst Lexa's was swimming with emotion, guilt, sadness, longing… love.

"I stayed for as long as I could but the clans demanded I returned for the meeting-"

"Which I understand but you never came back"

Lexa swallowed and shook her head, "Echo needed me. I wanted to come back Clarke, I really did, but Echo was barely eating or sleeping and with the baby coming I couldn't leave her like that. She won't come back here, says it reminds her too much of him"

Clarke took a deep breath and leant back against the tree. The annoying thing was is that she did understand. Echo had Bellamy taken away from her just when they were about to start a family no doubt she needed her sister around.

"How is she?"

"Changed" Lexa stretched out her legs and relaxed back accepting that Clarke wasn't going to push her away, "But after the baby was born… She was a completely different person, in a good way, and came into her own. I stayed for a while but once I knew Echo would be okay without me I came back"

Clarke smiled at the thought of the baby, "Boy or girl?"

"Boy… She named him Benjy" Lexa scrunched her nose up at the name causing Clarke to laugh.

Lexa raised an eyebrow at Clarke's amusement and rolled her eyes, "Apparently Bellamy joked about the name… So she chose it to piss him off"

"Sounds about right"

Lexa hummed in agreement and they fell into silence once again. Clarke bit her lip knowing that the commander was watching her but refused to meet her eyes. Lexa seemed to sense Clarke's unease because she moved her body round to face the other girl.

"Clarke?"

She turned her head slightly to show she was listening and Lexa continued, "There is more you want to say Clarke"

"Of course there's fucking more I want to say Lexa!" She exploded at her, "You left me here alone to deal with all this shit! You said we would deal with this together I understand why you couldn't come back but you didn't send anyone to come here? Didn't ask me to come to Polis? I have gone through hell, this last year really has been hell, and I needed you more than anything else"

Lexa nodded, "I know and I'm sorry Clarke"

"Not good enough"

Lexa got up onto her knees and crawled in front of Clarke so they were face to face. She put her hands either side of Clarke's face and forced her eyes to meet her own.

"I. Am. Sorry Clarke" Her eyes scanned Clarke's face for emotion, "I can't change what happened then but I can promise that I will never leave you again"

Clarke sighed, "A year Lexa"

"I know"

"You keep saying that"

"I know"

Clarke glared at her, "Saying I know isn't going to make up for this Lexa"

"I-" Her eyes widened at Clarke's warning glance and smiled weakly, "I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you Clarke"

"Good"

Lexa smiled a real smile this time and moved away to sit back at Clarke's side. They both stared off ahead of them gazing at the lake and Clarke secretly enjoyed the presence of the other girl again.

"Grovelling?" Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow.

Clarke snorted, "Grovelling"

"Kissing?"

"If you're feeling lucky"

There was silence again and Clarke eased into it by closing her eyes. She was just drifting off when Lexa's voice broke through again.

"Sex?"

Clarke sighed, "We'll see"

The gentle smile stayed on Lexa's face as they watched the sky change its colour and the sun began disappearing behind the mountain. Calloused fingers linked with hers and Clarke was reminded of a time a lifetime ago when they watched the sun appear behind the very same mountain.

_Send your dreams_

_Where nobody hides_

_Give your tears_

_To the tide_

_No time_

_No time_

_There's no end_

_There is no goodbye_

_Disappear_

_With the night_

_No time_

_No time_

_No time_

_No time_

_No time_

**Epilogue will be soon :)**


	31. Epilogue

**OF COURSE I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE MY LOVELIES haha in fact I have a new fic idea, look at the notes at the end for details and let me know what you think**

**So here's the last chapter – The epilogue**

**How cute…**

**Farewell my loves**

**Disclaimer: I STILL own nothing**

Clarke knelt down in the middle of the tent and looked back over to the toddler who was supporting herself against the bed.

"Aliyah"

The blonde bob of hair looked up and smiled wide at her mother.

"Come here" Clarke opened her eyes, "Come on"

Aliyah just laughed at her mother but didn't make any move to walk over and Clarke sighed. Abby snorted from her space behind Clarke.

"I told you. If she's anything like you she won't be walking until she's good and ready"

Clarke scoffed and rolled her eyes before standing up and walking over to pick her daughter up. The toddler welcomed her with open arms and laughed as she was lifted into the sky and screamed with joy when Clarke bounced her gently against her hip.

"Please, she's gets the stubbornness from Lexa"

Abby shook her head, "I've always found Lexa the more reasonable of you two"

Clarke stared at her mother eyes wide, "Rude"

She just laughed and walked over to pull her daughter and grand-daughter into a group hug.

"All your girls together?"

"Just about" Abby looked up and examined the tent, "Where's Lexa?"

"Council meeting" Clarke looked to Aliyah and grasped her hand whilst pulling a face, "The Ice nation are getting a little too confident weren't they?"

Aliyah laughed and nodded her head. Abby frowned and bit her lip nervously.

"Is Lexa fearful of war?"

"No" Clarke reassured Abby, "It's not that serious or official. Just a few outlanders pushing their luck in the alliance… Lexa just wants it sorted before we leave for Polis"

"Ahh… Polis. Visiting Echo?"

"Yep. Aliyah gets to see cousin Benjy"

At the mention of her cousin Aliyah perked up and clapped her hands excitedly before shouting, "Benjy! Benjy! Benjy!"

Abby laughed and gladly accepted her grandchild when Clarke offered her the child. She bounced her in a similar fashion to Clarke and watched as her daughter moved further into the tent to clear up the mess on the ground.

"Lexa tripped over Aliyah's things the other day" Clarke explained.

Abby couldn't help but laugh at that image, "Really?"

"Yes really. Apparently she can lead warriors into battle, face off against a giant monkey and save the human race from extinction but not navigate her way around child's toys… the swearing that came after wasn't appreciated either"

She laughed again and shook her head looking to Aliyah who was smiling at her grandmother, "Nomon? Nomon?"

Clarke smiled and placed a hand on her daughters head before kissing it gently, "Nomon will be back soon"

"I'll never get used to that" Abby shook her head.

"Trigedasleng?"

"Yes" She handed Aliyah back over to Clarke, "Hearing it spoken is… different"

Clarke nodded, "I know what you mean. I've been learning a few words here and there but it's not easy to get and Octavia still speaks it better than me"

She smiled and watched the two move around, "Speaking of Octavia are you going to visit her and Raven before you leave?"

"Of course. We're just waiting for Lexa to get back"

Lexa's name caused Aliyah to jump up and down in Clarke's arms shouting, "Nomon" again.

Abby smiled lovingly at them and indicated to the tent flap, "I have to go but come see me before you leave"

"We will"

"That means Lexa too"

"I know"

She watched her leave before turning away to bathe her daughter.

It was dark and they had already eaten by the time Lexa returned. When she pushed the flap of the tent back the scowl on her face was replaced with a smile at the sight of Clarke humming a lullaby to a calm Aliyah in her arms.

Clarke looked over at the sound of her entrance and smiled. Slowly she pulled Aliyah away and spoke gently, "Look who's here"

The small child looked up tiredly from her mother's shoulder and smiled weakly, "Nomon!"

Lexa walked over and placed her arm around Clarke's waist as she leant down and kissed Aliyah's head, "Hello goufa"

She turned her head to Clarke and kissed her full on the lips, "And you"

"Me?" Clarke teased.

Lexa hummed a yes before moving over the bed to remove her uniform. Clarke watched her go whilst gently moving Aliyah, still attempting to get the girl to fall asleep.

"How was the meeting?"

She sighed and tugged off the chest plate, "As tiring as the last. I look forward to Polis just for the change in scenery"

Clarke nodded in understanding and smiled gently down at the commander, "You'll be able to see Echo again"

Lexa closed her eyes, "Indeed"

"Is the ice nation going to break?"

"Maybe but not for a long time... If they do it could set off a string of breaks, make the other clans believe they need to do the same"

Clarke pasued, "You think they would really risk war?"

"The ice nation live off war, they were bound to get bored eventually, and I am wary of this fight"

"Because of the threat?"

"Because of you" She stood from the bed and placed her hand on Aliyah's head, "Both of you"

Clarke leant up and kissed her, "We'll be okay Lexa"

"I know"

She moved away from their bed and leant down over Aliyah's furs to set her daughter in for the night. Clarke hummed as she went and stroked the young girls face before feeling two strong arms wrap around her waist. She sighed in contentment and leant back into the hold looking down at their daughter with Lexa's head resting on her shoulder.

"Ai hod yu in"

"I love you"

**ITS OVER**

**Sad Times**

**New Fic idea:**

**Lexa and Clarke are both from the Ark, come down to Ark, and everything goes to hell… Sounds fun right?**

**I am intrigued by this so let me know?**

**Anyway yeah this is the end, huh, or is it? ;)**

**To be honest I've left it open for a sequel if I feel like writing one. We shall see. Until Next time guys! :)**


End file.
